When and how did it really started?

I was 14 years old when I started to suffer from depression, anxiety, insomnia and all. When it actually started I had no idea about depression and all. I never imagined myself in those situations like crying myself to sleep, trying to hurt myself, getting annoyed by everything and everyone,.... It was hard. My heart hurt like it was tearing into millions. Slowly I started losing interest in people. I even stopped talking to my friends.

I had a wonderful group of friends. We were 7girls in the group. We used to have so much fun. We were so full of ourself. We used to meet at the main street and go to school together return together. We never imagined that we will get separated. I left the group after a huge disaster with one of the girl from the group who was the most important person to me after my bestfriend. Boys of our class were lets say perverts kind of. They actually did't mean to harass but were harassing the girls by like touching our parts, judging our body and body parts, so on. And I was harassed and I allowed them to harass me which was my worst decision of all time. Its not all, there was another reason I left. One of the girl from the group had a boyfriend from our class. He was my kind of good guy friend. But she was too protective like she didn't like me talking to him. She felt that I would take him away from her when I had no interest in him.

We were having lunch in our usual spot and that girl started talking and giving hints that she didn't like me talking to her boy so I slowly stopped talking to him like usual and just talked very little with my 4years long friend. After that it was all awkward. But that was not enough for her. I suddenly got a text from her. She said, "I don't like the awkwardness we are having these days." So I asked her what should "I" do to go back like we were. She said, "lets just maintain distance. It'll be okay after that." I listened to her. That night was the first night when I cried myself to sleep. The next morning I woke up with red swollen eyes. Got ready for school and went go school alone as to maintain distance with her. I said the girls that I will be late so leave early. Like that I maintained distance with her for like 3 4 days but it was hard cause usually spent time with her so I decided to leave group for temporary time. Other 5members said ok. I left the group and sat with two girls who were close to me but we were not on good terms.

It has already been 2weeks since I left the group. I expected them to tell me to comeback but they didn't . The two girls I was with lets just name them Ayinos and Ashalid. They're like angel to me. But there is another secret that they didn't know about me which could break our friendship...

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