"Delusional or Just a Dreamer?"

You know, sometimes I wonder why I’ve never truly fallen in love with anyone. It's not like I’ve never met people. I have. But no one has ever made my heart race… not even once. I haven’t experienced that magical moment where just one look from someone makes me feel like butterflies are fluttering in my chest. That one gaze that makes you feel like you're the only person they see, just like those romantic fictional characters do with their lovers.

I know... real life and fictional stories are worlds apart. Still, I can’t help how I feel. Maybe I’m just a little delusional or maybe a lot. But honestly, I’m not the only one. I’ve met so many girls who read fictional stories and dream about fictional love. We all live in our dreamy, delusional world. And truthfully, we don’t even want to leave.

Yes, we could come out of this fantasy if we really wanted to. But none of us do. We don’t want to leave behind our book boyfriends, those perfect fictional men who make us feel seen, loved, and safe. How can we abandon them in the pages of a novel? They’re not just characters. They’re comfort. They’re hope. They’re escape.

And if one day… I meet someone who feels even a little like that someone who makes my heart beat fast, who smiles at me like I’m the only girl in the world I know I’ll be completely obsessed. Not in a creepy way, but in the way where his smile becomes my favorite view. His voice becomes my favorite sound. His eyes? They’ll become my favorite home. And his presence will be enough to brighten even my darkest days.

I know it sounds silly, maybe even too “delulu” (as people say). But it’s true. I’ve never really been in love before. The people I dated in my past? I don’t even consider it love. It wasn’t deep. It wasn’t pure. It wasn’t what I imagine love to be.

And yes, like everyone else, I too have a crush. I want to talk to him, laugh with him, maybe even hold his hand one day. But here’s the truth he doesn’t even know I exist. He feels so far away, so out of reach. “Aukat ke bahar,” as we say. And because of that, I’m stuck in my imagination. I imagine spending time with him, sharing silly jokes, blushing under his gaze… the usual daydreams of a hopeless romantic.

But here’s the scary part if I ever actually dated him and he hurt me… I don’t know what I’d do. The thought of him cheating or breaking my heart already makes me feel shattered, and we’re not even together. I get scared. Sometimes I think, “Maybe I shouldn’t even wish for this. Maybe I should protect my heart instead.”

Because love, no matter how beautiful, comes with risk.

And yet, the heart wants what it wants, doesn’t it?

Maybe he’ll notice me one day. Maybe he won’t. Maybe fate will bring us closer. Or maybe not. I really don’t know. But until then, I’ll keep writing my silly thoughts, my delusional dreams, and my imaginary stories where love feels like magic.

I hope you enjoyed this small episode from my heart. If you did, please do like and leave a comment. Your support truly means the world to me. Every like and every word of encouragement gives me the motivation to keep writing. 💖

Also, if you’d like me to start a fictional love story, let me know in the comments. I’d love to create a world full of emotions, love, heartbreak, healing and maybe even a little delusion, just for all of us dreamers.

Thank you for reading. Stay dreamy, stay delulu it’s not such a bad thing after all. 🦋

"I’ve never been in love, not because I’m heartless, but because I’m waiting for that one look the one that makes my heart race, like in the stories I read. Maybe I’m delusional, or maybe I just believe in magic too much." ✨🦋

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