t hug
Ellen, you’ve always said, “Be kind,” but let’s be honest—kindness isn’t always a choice, especially when life decides to dump on you. Your show gets canceled and suddenly you’re off to England, like kindness is easier with an accent and a cup of tea. But hey, you’ve never been afraid to make bold choices—except maybe with your sexuality. Was it really a choice, Ellen, or were you just finally sick of men’s nonsense? Because honestly, while you were throwing a tantrum on set, I could’ve used some real help.
Next time, save the drama for the cameras and bring the kindness to real life, yeah? I mean, is your name DeGeneres or DeJerk? And let’s talk about your “helping”—everybody you helped had to be run through the CIA first! Be honest, Ellen: did you skip helping some people because the CIA said you shouldn’t, or because you couldn’t remember if you were hosting a talk show or running a background check? At this point, it’s easier to get into the Pentagon than to get a hug from Ellen!
But hey, hosting a Big Chill like that, you must know what being syndicated really means—because after all the drama, it looks like your kindness is the only thing still in reruns. And I mean for the viewer, not for you.
So how can you know how the business really works and still throw a tantrum every time stuff doesn’t go your way? Ellen, with all that experience, you should know: if you want a happy ending, you’ve got to be kind all the way to the credits!
And you know what? I challenge you to actually take your own advice for once—help somebody in actual need. Like me, this time. Because it’s not money I need—I need someone to actually give a s***.
And let’s not forget our “Save the Gorillas” crowd—always shouting, “Go, gorillas, go!” but when it comes to real change, suddenly it’s “let’s keep things as is, because we don’t like change.” Funny how you love change when it jingles in your pocket, but how about trying real change instead of just reel help? Maybe try making a difference that matters off camera, too.
Or maybe you just need to learn to throw a proper UK-size tantrum—because right now, your drama’s barely a tea-time snack. Cheers!
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