Jungkook's story

Summary:

Jungkook is broken.

Notes:

Hahahah I'm soooo glad I decided to rewrite. I like this version a lot better\~

Chapter Text

Jungkook likes walking by himself. It's relaxing and he isn't pressured to make conversation, but sometimes he gets pulled into the abysses that are his own thoughts. He can't help but think about how he's become.

You see, Jungkook wasn't always like this. Emotionless. He's only become emotionally unavailable in the past few years, actually.

From the outside looking in, Jungkook's life is perfect. He has money, his parents are doctors, he's set for college and he's only a junior, the list goes on. But he's not happy. Or at least he wasn't.

Jungkook knows his parents love him. He wouldn't dare try and say they didn't, but they don't know how to parent. They'd try and give him things in replacement for attention and affection. Of course, from a young age he was aware that his parents were busy people and that they couldn't always be there for him when he wanted them, but action figures can only make a kid so happy.

It even got to a point where when their schedules have them some free time, they wouldn't even really think about spending time with their son. They take time for themselves. It's understandable, of course. And that's why Jungkook hasn't ever said anything.

And sure they have their daily routine of meeting after Jungkook gets off of school, but it's exactly that: a routine. When they ask him how his day was, he doesn't tell them all about it. He says, it was okay or good. Never anything more. When he helps his mother with dinner or watches golf with his father, there's never much conversation. That's kind of made Jungkook wonder just what he has in common with his parents.

The only reason why he likes the things he likes are because those are the things his parents enjoy. He doesn't really enjoy cooking, but he enjoys it because his mother does. He doesn't really like golfing, but he does it because that's what his father likes. When he does those things, he's able to spend more time with the people he loves he most.

There's only two things Jungkook loves on his own, and he's not even sure if his parents are aware of them: drawing and horticulture.

His grandmother helped him realize those things. She's pretty much the only person Jungkook had 100% opened up to. Unfortunately though, she lives too far away for him to be able to talk to her on a regular basis.

"Do you know why I take such good care of my garden?" Jungkook remembers his grandmother asking him one summer.

"Why?" He had asked.

"Well, because my plants are like humans. They need sunlight, water, and nutrients to survive, but most importantly, they need love. Sure, you can grow a flower without love, but it won't be as bright and beautiful as one that was loved. Just like humans."

That really stuck with Jungkook. He thinks about that often. He feels like he can relate to it. That's why he isn't a very remarkable person, because he wasn't given the love he needed to grow.

That's why Jimin's words stung.

"What is it? When I asked how your friends stay with you? Are you scared they'll leave you or something? So that is it. What? Afraid they'll realize just how uninteresting you are and leave you or something? It just might happen if you're not careful."

All Jungkook has are his friends. What will he do if they stop caring about him too?

Of course, Jungkook always has his older brother though. Junghyun loves Jungkook more than evens his parents do. His baby brother is very special to him.

Jungkook remembers growing up and constantly being compared to Junghyun.

"Junghyun gets great grades, why can't you?"

"Junghyun is so outgoing. Why won't you get out there and talk to people?"

"Why can't you be more like your brother? You come from the same parents but you're too different."

"Junghyun got the looks in the family."

"Junghyun got the brains in the family."

"Junghyun's better at this."

"Junghyun's better at that."

"Junghyun, Junghyun, Junghyun."

Jungkook loves his brother, but he also hates him. He hates him for being perfect. He hates him for his amazing school record, ability to make dozens of friends, and his good looks. He hates him for being the favorite of the family and receiving unconditional love from their parents at Jungkook's expense. Jungkook hates his brother, but he loves him.

Junghyun is one of the only people who will listen to Jungkook's problems. He always tells Jungkook not to compare them to each other—they're different people with different personalities, so they shouldn't be forced to be compared.

"You're my Jungkookie. You're not me, and I'm not you. People are made to be different, and I think you're perfect the way you are. Don't change." Junghyun had said once. That really stuck in Jungkook's mind. Even though his brother gets complimented on everything, he still stands up for Jungkook.

Ring, ring. Speak of the devil. Jungkook glances at his phone to see an incoming call from his brother.

"Hello?" He answers.

"Jungkookie! How are you?" Junghyun asks his younger brother.

"I'm fine. Why'd you call?"

"I just wanted to talk to you. I'm coming home pretty soon for break. Aren't you excited?"

"I guess." Jungkook shrugs even though his brother can't see.

"What's wrong?" Junghyun can sense that Jungkook isn't well right now. "What happened?"

"Just..." Jungkook swallows hard. "You'd never leave me, right?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I wouldn't. Why? Did something happen?"

"No." Jungkook shakes his head. "I was just thinking about some stuff."

"Don't think like that, Kookie. I told you before, I love you and you're special to me."

"I love you too."

"What are mom and dad up to?"

"They're downstairs eating breakfast."

"By themselves?"

"Yeah."

"Why? Go downstairs and join them." Junghyun is becoming noticably agitated. He's fully aware of how much his parents neglect Jungkook. He hates it, and wish they would at least try to spend more time with him.

"I don't want to disturb them." Jungkook sighs. "They seemed happy by themselves..."

"Jungkook."

"What?"

"Do I need to come home early?" Junghyun questions.

"No, no... there's no need for that. You're at college. You have finals coming up. I don't want to hold you back." Jungkook explains.

"You wouldn't be holding me back. Mom and dad need to stop acting like this. It's not right."

"It's nothing. I shouldn't have said anything." Jungkook sighs.

"No, I'm glad you did. You shouldn't choose favorites with your own children." Junghyun asserts. It's silent between the two brothers for a moment because Jungkook knows his brother is right. "You're my Jungkookie, okay?"

"Okay. I know." Jungkook nods.

"Don't forget that. I love you more than anything."

"I know you do."

"Promise me you won't keep to yourself, Jungkook. Mom and dad won't say anything to you if you don't say something first." Junghyun tells his brother.

"I promise."

"Good. Now, call me later. Tell me about your day and what you did with mom and dad, got it?"

"Got it."

"Bye."

"Bye, Junghyun." Jungkook pulls his phone away from his ear and hangs up. He then lets out his millionth sigh. He doesn't feel like interacting with his parents right now. He wants to get out again, so he texts his friends.

[7:45AM]

To: Group Chat

Hey, do you guys want to meet up?

[7:45AM]

From: Group Chat - Namjoon

Sure. When & where?

[7:45AM]

From: Group Chat - Jin

Lets go out to breakfast\~

[7:46AM]

From: Group Chat - Namjoon

Good idea. What do you think, Jungkook?

[7:46AM]

To: Group Chat

Sounds good. Lets meet at the usual place

[7:46AM]

From: Group Chat - Jin

Alright, see you there 8)

[7:46AM]

From: Group Chat - Namjoon

Please don't use emoticons

[7:46AM]

From: Group Chat - Jin

8) :) ;) :P :D

[7:47AM]

From: Group Chat - Namjoon

Disgusting. I'm not paying for your meal.

[7:47AM]

From: Group Chat - Jin

Good. I didn't want you to anyways, peasant.

[7:47AM]

From: Group Chat - Namjoon

This is why you don't have any other friends

While his friends argue over text, Jungkook is on his way to their usual restaurant. He makes it there in less than twenty minutes, going in and reserving a table for him and his friends.

After another five minutes, both Jin and Namjoon finally arrive. "Sorry we're late. Jin didn't like my outfit and tried to get me to change." Namjoon rolls his eyes, sitting.

Jungkook looks him up and down. Namjoon is clad in a red cut-off shirt, khaki high waters, and probably the worst shoes Jungkook's ever seen in his life. They kind of look like plastic clogs. "I can see why."

"See? Even Jungkook understands how horrible your fashion is." Jin tells his friend.

"Um, it's called haute couture, okay? You wouldn't understand." Namjoon crosses his arms over his chest.

"You wanna know what haute couture means?" Jin leans forward in his seat.

"What?"

"It means don't wear this in public because it's dumb and used for photography purposes only." Jin smiles, earning a scowl from Namjoon.

"Look, Jin, I don't expect you to know anything about fashion."

"Give me a break." Jin groans. He glances over at Jungkook. "You're quiet."

"Am I?" Jungkook scans his menu.

"What happened?"

"Nothing." Jungkook shrugs. "I went on a walk earlier."

"How'd it go?" Jin questions.

"Fine. I ran into Park Jimin again. He was singing. He's really good."

Jin scoffs. "Him? A good singer? I doubt it." He rolls his eyes.

"He is, really." Jungkook nods.

"I'm with Jin on this one. That seems a little far fetched. Maybe he was just playing music out loud." Namjoon shrugs. "Anyway, he didn't punch you or anything, did he?"

"No. He didn't do much of anything, actually."

"Really? I was sure he would've tried to fight you by now. Or sleep with you, but since you're an honorary member of the abstinence club, that won't be happening." Jin smiles, squeezing Jungkook's shoulder.

"I'm not a member of your club." Jungkook shakes his head.

"That's why I said honorary. You're not an official member on paper, but you're an official member in my heart." Jin grins.

"I'll never join abstinence club, Jin." Jungkook makes clear.

"And why not? It's not like you're having sex anyway." Jin pouts. "We need more members. They're threatening to stop the club because there are less than six people."

"That's not my problem." Jungkook shrugs.

"Why are you so incapable of feeling? You suck." Jin glares at Jungkook. He turns away from his friend. "I swear, why do I even waste my time being friends with you?"

Ouch. Jungkook is fully aware that Jin's all talk and no action, but that still hurts. Even though he's always like this when he gets upset, the fact that he even questions their friendship...

Usually something like this wouldn't even bother Jungkook, but after his interaction with Jimin, his friends leaving him is all he can think about.

"Afraid they'll realize just how uninteresting you are and leave you or something? It just might happen if you're not careful." Jungkook recalls Jimin's words for the second time today. Maybe Jimin has a point. Maybe he should learn how to feel...

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