Coconut Head & Mcthiccens Jikook
Summary:
Jimin wants to crush Jungkook's soul
I've decided I'm going to rebel a little." Namjoon tells Jungkook and Jin as they all sit together around their usual lunch table, huddled around Namjoon's brand new $1,300 chess set. His dad got it for him.
"Rebel? How so?" Jungkook questions, eyes scanning the board for his next move.
"Move here." Jin whispers into Jungkook's ear, pointing to an empty square.
"I'm going to start swearing." Namjoon tells his friends.
"What?" Both Jungkook and Jin's heads snap up simultaneously. Did they hear him right? Did he just say he's going to start swearing as in saying bad words?
"Namjoon, lets be rational." Jin puts his hand up to stop his friend. "Swearing isn't the route you want to go down, believe me. I went there before. I became an unpleasant person to be around. I even almost had sex once."
"I don't think that swearing has anything to do with you becoming an unpleasant person. You were originally like that. And as for the sex part, I seriously doubt that." Namjoon rolls his eyes. "Anyway, I said the f-word at my cousin's birthday party this past weekend, and it felt really liberating."
"You said the f-word? Wow, you're serious about this." Jungkook says in surprise.
"Wanna hear it?" Namjoon smiles sneakily.
"No!" Jin raises his voice.
"I'm gonna say it, Jin. I don't care what you say." Namjoon threatens. Jin then proceeds to cover his ears and yell 'la la la' very loudly. "Fuck!" Namjoon shouts.
Jungkook, feeling nervous just hearing the foul word, covers his mouth in shock. He actually said it. Not even just that. He yelled it. He yelled it and the whole cafeteria is now staring at him.
"Jin would never have the balls to say that." Namjoon chuckles, proud of himself.
"The correct term is testicles, and I do have them. I just refuse to stoop down to your level." Jin turns his nose up at his friend.
"You know, this is why you don't have any other friends besides us. If only your personality matched your face." Namjoon sighs, shaking his head.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jin scoffs.
"It means he's calling you handsome but thinks your personality is equivalent to a trash can." Jungkook interjects as he moves one of his pieces. "Checkmate."
"Aw, man." Namjoon frowns.
"My personality is beautiful, thank you very much." Jin pouts.
"Whatever you say." Namjoon shakes his head. He starts clearing the board and puts his new chess set back in its carrying case. "I'm going to class early."
"Alright. See you after school, right?" Jungkook asks.
"Yep. See you then." Namjoon gets up, waving to his friends as he exits the cafeteria.
"I should go too. I wanted to talk to Mr. Chae about rounding up my grade from a 99% to a perfect 100. Only perfect grades for a perfect man." Jin says, standing.
"See you later then." Jungkook waves.
"Bye, Jungkook. And don't forget to come to abstinence club every Thursday after school." Jin calls behind him.
"Yeah, yeah." Jungkook nods, barely listening at this point. He'll go to abstinence club when pigs fly. Sure, he's abstinent. Not by choice though.
"I guess I might as well head to class now too." Jungkook shrugs. There's no point in sitting at an empty lunch table by himself. So he zips his lunch bag up, stands, and starts heading out of the cafeteria and towards the hallway to his locker.
Jungkook looks down the hallway as he walks. Is that who he thinks he is? It is. It's Park Jimin.
Jungkook has heard a million and one rumors about Park Jimin. Apparently, he'll sleep with just about anyone, boy or girl. He doesn't discriminate. And he's a huge bully. If you even look at him wrong he'll attack you. He's pretty good at fighting too, and will only let you off the hook if you agree to sleep with him.
But rumors will be rumors. That's all just speculation at this point.
What Jungkook does know though, is that as Park Imin is approaching him for the first time, he feels extremely underwhelmed. This short, pouting child is supposed to be the intimidating and scary Park Jimin? Yeah right.
Clad in scandalous ripped jeans, a black shirt, and shoes that add about two inches to his height, Park Jimin struts down the hallway. His presence draw attention no matter where he goes. Followed by his two friends, Min Yoongi and Kim Taehyung, he seems almost untouchable.
"Who the hell are you? Move." Jimin spits at Jugkook, who's blocking his path. Jungkook looks around him.
"There's plenty of space to walk around me." He tells Jimin.
Jimin scoffs. Is this kid serious right now? "Don't you know who I am, you little punk?"
"Yeah. Park Jimin." Jungkook nods.
"So you do. Then act like it. Move."
"Actually, we're in Korea right now. We drive on the right side of the road, meaning we also walk on the right side of the path. I'm on the right side. You should be using my left—also known as your right. It makes sense." Jungkook explains without much emotion, shrugging.
Jimin just stares at Jungkook with a confused but irritated expression. "What's your name?"
"Jeon Jungkook." Jungkook replies.
"Well, Jeon Jungkook, I don't like you. You look like a coconut." Jimin decides. "Coconut Head. That seems like a more fitting title, don't you guys think?" Jimin laughs to his friends, who chuckle in response.
"You know, if that's your idea of an insult, you have a lot to learn." Jungkook adds in. Jimin glares daggers.
"And what would you know about insults?"
"I'd take in my situation and determine what my opponents insecurities might be."
"Alright, then why don't you demonstrate?" Jimin crosses his arms, not expecting much.
"Okay." Jungkook nods, looking Jimin over again. "Seeing as though your shoes add a few inches to your height, I'd say that's one of your insecurities. So I'd probably say something along the lines of, you're short so you don't intimidate me." Jungkook nods as he speaks, completely straight-faced.
Jimin, on the other hand, is red with anger. His fists are clenched and his friends swear they can see smoke coming from his ears. "You little—"Jimin tries lunging for Jungkook, but Yoongi and Taehyung each grab one of his arms to hold him back.
"H-Hey, it's not worth it, man." Yoongi tries to tell Jimin.
"You asked me to demonstrate. I don't understand why you're so upset." Jungkook shrugs.
"You don't understand why I'm—What is this fucking kid? Do you have a death wish?" Jimin growls.
"Of course not. That's idiotic."
"Did you just call me an idiot?" Jimin roars in anger. Taehyung swears he can see a fire in his friend's eyes.
"Are we done here? I have a class to get to." Jungkook sighs, checking his watch. Without waiting for a response, he walks off, leaving Jimin annoyed and seething with rage.
"Fucking let me go. I want to rip his head off!" He struggles in his two friends grasps.
"Stop! You've already almost been expelled this year and it's only November." Yoongi shouts. Jimin knows he's right, so he shrugs his friends off finally and readjusts himself as he watches Jungkook go to his locker and get his bag out.
"Fine. I won't kill him, but I will do something." Jimin smirks to himself a little. He's got an idea. "Yoongi. Open your man-purse."
"It's not a man-purse, okay? It's a satchel." He grunts, but opens his bag anyway. "What would you like? Spray paint or sharpies?"
"Mm... spray paint." Jimin says. Yoongi reaches in and pulls out a can of black spray paint, handing it to Jimin. "Alright, go stand guard. I don't need to get caught again." Jimin tells his friends, shaking the can.
"Okay." They both nod and walk off to opposite ends of the hallway. Jimin checks to make sure the coast is clear one more time before walking up to the locker he saw Coconut Head unlock.
"This is war, Coconut Head." Jimin smirks before spraying the whole locker solid black. That should do it. "Yoongi, Taehyung. Lets go." Jimin calls for his friends. They stroll casually towards class. Jimin feels a little more stress free, and is awaiting Jungkook's freak out later.
-
This is probably one of the most underwhelming things Jimin's ever watched in his life. Jungkook approaches his locker, stares at it for a few moments before unlocking it, getting his books out, and heading to his next class. Like really? Not even a gasp? Or even a shake of the head?
"He's not human." Jimin shakes his head, frustrated. "How in the hell didn't he react? It doesn't make sense! I literally spray painted his whole locker black!" Jimin cries out in anger.
"Maybe he's used to it. I know I'd probably be used to being bullied if I had hair like that." Taehyung shrugs, his pet squirrel running down and around his arms and torso.
"Can you put that fucking thing away? It freaks me out." Yoongi shoots his friend a disgusted expression.
"Gong Yoo isn't an indoor familiar, okay?" Taehyung rolls his eyes.
"Why did you decide to name your dumb squirrel after a famous actor again?" Yoongi sighs.
"Because he looks just like him. Don't you think?" Taehyung grins, holding his pet up.
"Will you two stop talking about that fucking squirrel?" Jimin growls. His friends turn towards him. "We need to figure out how I'm going to get back at him for insulting me, okay?"
"Is it really that serious though?" Yoongi asks, already exhausted and they haven't even started.
"Of course it is." Jimin glares. "We have to take him down. It's my goal to crush his soul."
"I think you're taking this a little far. I mean, all he did was tell you the truth. You're short, so wh—" Taehyung is shut up by Jimin swiping his feet out from under him. "Fuck!" Tae gasps for air on the floor. "Gong Yoo, save yourself."
"Get up. We're going to my dad's house." Jimin frowns, kicking Tae's butt as he passes by.
"And what're we gonna do there?" Yoongi asks, stepping over Taehyung as well.
"Leave me to die." Tae coughs overdramatically.
"Come on." Yoongi pulls his friend to his feet and they follow Jimin out of the school doors and towards is father's house even though they still have three periods left.
They walk in to find the place absolutely trashed as usual, but they walk right past the mess into Jimin's tiny bedroom without even checking to see if his dad was home.
"Alright, guys. Lets get down to business." Jimin cracks his knuckles as Yoongi and Tae lounge on his bed lazily.
"Business?" Taehyung questions.
"I told you, I want to crush Coconut Head's soul." Jimin smiles evilly to himself.
"He really hit you wear it hurts, didn't he? I've embraced my short stature." Yoongi shrugs.
"Yeah, just let it go." Taehyung rolls his eyes.
"Never. I'll get him back. This is war." Jimin decides. He'll think of something. He's so determined to get a reaction out of this kid. He will one way or another.
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Updated 8 Episodes
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