prelude

' There will come a time that you will all ask for my forgiveness. But when that time comes I will just turn my back and walk away. Never to turn my head to your direction. Because at that time I no longer your child. I no longer longed for the love. I no longer needed you, for me to stand up. When that time comes I will no longer Shed a tear, for I will no longer loved you all. '

" You f*cking bitch!" my father yelled at me, before his hand landed to my neck. I was slowly gasping for air while looking at him with pure hatred. No Love just hatred.

Asking myself why did I even Idolized him, and wishes to have a man like him. I blame myself for loving him too much as my father. For trying to be a good daughter he wanted me to be.

Tears slowly escape my eyes, and as I glanced at the direction of my mother who was standing at the back of my father. Trying to take my fathers hand away from me. While pleading to let me go.

But I think my father is determined to kill me this time. But I don't care, not at all. I just wish this would be over and I can be free. If I die I won't suffer anymore. I won't wish anymore. I won't asked anymore.

But my father slowly let go of my neck. He looked at me before saying "Useless daughter!" and walked away. My mother tried to touch my shoulder, but before she could even touch me I move backward so that she wouldn't reach me.

I saw how shock she is, but I just smiled and enter our house. I directly go to my room and lock the door. As soon as I locked it, my tears came running out of my eyes.

I slowly walked towards my bed, while my face was being wet by my tears. I was trying to control my sobs so no one could ever hear me. As I lay down to my bed, my head started to clouded a questions.

'When will I stop loving them? When will I stop feeling anything for them? When will I stop shedding tears for them? When?! Because I'm already tired. Tired of being their daughter. But my heart keeps asking, pleading and needing for their love, affection and recognition. All my life I wanted to the perfect daughter they wanted me to be. The obedient daughter they want. But why?! Why am I not enough?! Why?! '

My mind is filled with questions that I don't know if I could ever answer it. Because right now I don't know if I could still make it tomorrow!

With so many questions going in my head. I feel the tiredness of my body. And I slowly, slowly closed my eyes. Still worrying what will happen tomorrow. But I hope I can still make it.

I hope I can still make it......

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