I want to try

NOA

I woke up before sun. The room was quiet, and the lavender scent still clung to the sheets. I sat there on the bed, holding the blanket in the hands.

I didn't know what was wrong with me or may be ... I did.

I wanted to do something.

Not because someone told me to. Not because I had but because I wanted to try.

I wanted....to work.

It was strange thought.

Back then, in the world I came from, work isn't a choice. It was something force on me something I had to survive. But this felt different. I wasn't scared here and may be, if I try, I could learn how to live on my own feet just a little.

ARI made breakfast like always soft eggs, warm toast and the tea that smelled like peace. He smiles at me when I came in, like he almost does. Like he's happy just I exist.

But I couldn't meet his eyes

I sat down picked up the tea put it back.

"Noa?" he said gently "something on your mind?"

I nodded then I spoke "I want to try working". He paused I think I surprise him.

"I know I'm safe here, and I'm thankful" I said quickly. "But I don't want to keep hiding. I want to earn something even if it's small even if I mess up".

I was scared not of ARI but of myself.

What If i wasn't strong enough? But ARI didn't laugh he didn't look worried, either. He looked.....proud.

"I understand" he said softly "you're not a burden, NOA. You were never but if you're ready... I'll talk to Lucien again"

I looked up my hands were still shaking but I nodded.

"Please"

Later, I stood near the window while ARI made a phone call he was speaking in the other room but I could still hear parts of it. My chest felt tight. Was this a mistake?

I gripped the window sill. Outside, the wind was dancing through the lavender. Everything looked the same, but I didn't feel the same.

I was scared but I also felt something else.

Hope

ARI came back, a soft smile on his face "he said yes" he told me. My heart thudded in my chest.

Lucien said yes. I didn't know why that made me feel something may be because someone believe I could.

I was afraid but also felt brave. Just a little.

I used to believe the world was bigger than pain. That was before everything was taken. Before the name "omega" become a collar around my throat.

Everything time I touch warm tea cup or smell of lavender in the hallway I remember how quickly things could have taken away. Back in my world that world kindness always had a prize. I had trusted once I learned. I don't want to feel useless any more not again.

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