Fatal thoughts.

The training was based on weapons and kung fu. We were taught the basics and then left to train on our own with a partner. Speed and stamina were needed as well. In the end we did wooden sword fighting, punching and kicking practice and running. Compared to what we have to do now, I know things are going to get worse. They aren't just training us. They're testing us once again, those who are unable to keep up will die in training before they can even fight in the actual war.

I sit down in the corner of the room and look down at the food in front of me. Bread and milk, neither is warm but it doesn't matter as long as it's something I can eat. Though, they're going to starve us at this rate if this is all we get a day. After eating I go to the tent where us children will sleep. It's cramped and cold, no blankets or pillows but the snow serves as a cushion at least. I lay down on the floor and look up at the roof of the tent. Mama...I wonder if they actually did kill her, or maybe used her for something else-

A child comes in and flinches as she hears a loud slap noise. I rub my cheek and sit up.

"...sorry. I had a bad dream."

I tell the girl, she nods slowly and moves to a corner of the room to sleep. I'm disgusted, I doubt even if I survive this, I'll never be able to see my mother's body or grave...they don't bury people anymore they just throw them away and then burn them. I'm sorry mama, if I was stronger or older and less useless... perhaps we could've run...at least then we would have seen the end together. After an hour, all the children are asleep. I lie awake, how was I meant to sleep with this suspense constantly playing in my head. It's quiet and for once... it's peaceful. I shut my eyes and let my exhaustion take over. A loud banging noise is heard as a soldier wakes us up. All the children huddle and move away, scared. I stood up and rubbed my eyes, it felt like I slept 5 minutes even though it was 2 hours. My body is shaking, not from fear but from the cold and pain.

"Get up and go to the training room. No slacking."

They get up and slowly make their way there. I follow, once we get there the same soldiers from earlier train us and again it's wooden swords, karate and running. We have a five minute break and I go outside to get water. Whilst walking I look over at the other soldiers training with guns on animals they caught that will later be cooked and eaten. Sometimes when they are unable to find meat they take one of the women. I slap myself again, these horrible thoughts need to stop or else I'll corrupt myself. I fill up a sack of water and then turn to walk back but as I do I bump into someone and fall.

"Sorry."

I hear a dry and emotionless voice speak. I look up at a boy with black hair, tied with red braided string into a short ponytail and light grey eyes standing in front of me. I shake my head and stand up.

"It's fine."

He nods and then goes to get some water. I walk back to the training room and then look back to the side to get a glimpse of the soldiers again. I jump as I see the boy from earlier walking two steps behind me on my right. He's fast, I didn't hear him walking how weird.

"Hm. Did I scare you?"

I blink before shaking my head slowly.

"No I just didn't notice you walking so close to me, I was surprised is all"

He stares at me for a moment.

"Syaoran..."

I pause.

"Syaoran...is that your name?"

He nods, his gaze not shifting off my face. 'he who is a little wolf' a strangely unique name.

"My name is Xuě háizi."

He blinks and then repeats it.

"Xuě háizi..."

"Yes."

He looks down at the ground for a moment looking lost in thought. He's quiet and it's hard to tell what he's thinking. He then takes my hand and starts walking back. I stare at him in confusion. I can walk on my own... he's weird.

"Hurry up, break is over."

The soldier shouts as we walk back in. I set my water down and then walk over to stand in line. Wooden sword fighting again. I hold back a sigh of annoyance, I suppose it's important we get skilled at it but what I really want to learn is how to use a feifa. Why would you need to use a sword when you have a weapon that can shoot from long and short distances. It's much better to learn than waste time on this.

"Xuě háizi."

I snap out of my thoughts and look to my left. It's him again.

"Will you be my partner?"

I pause for a moment before nodding.

"Alright."

As we fight, I can tell he's got strong arms. His hits are fast and hard and his gaze shifts quickly. He's good. Really good actually, it's almost like he's done it before. I move to try and land a hit and he quickly notices before I could even swing i get hit in the face and fall. His eyes widen and he kneels down in front of me quickly.

"Xuě háizi! I- I'm sorry... Your nose is bleeding"

I stare at his face the blood running down my lips and down to my chin.

"Syaoran."

"Yes?"

I take his hand in mine.

"Would you be my partner again next time too?"

He just stares at me in disbelief.

"You- what?"

"And maybe even the training after that?"

He looks at my eyes which are full of determination and then sighs.

"If that's what you want, but I can't understand why"

He nods and I smile.

"Thank you."

He helps me up and holds my nose with his hand, stopping the bleeding. After asking for permission he walks me to the well. Using a cloth he cleans my face up from the blood.

"Blegh"

He looks over.

"Hm?"

"Blood tastes awful..."

He lifts my chin slightly.

"Spit and then I'll give you some water."

I nod and spit down on the snow, I cover it with snow using my foot and then he holds water out to me using his hands.

"I didn't bring my water sorry, drink here"

I look at the water he holds in his palms, I can see my reflection and my nose is red, my cheeks are pink and my skin is pale. I slowly drink it from his hand and the taste of blood is washed away. Due to the cold weather the water stays cold and refreshing. I then sit back, he wipes his wet hands on his clothes before lifting my chin again to see if my nose is still bleeding.

"It's stopped, that's good"

He almost sounds relieved. I stare at his eyes for a moment, grey... despite the fact that grey is seen as a dull colour, his is a pretty grey. Like the fur on a wolf...a wolf... little wolf...

"So that's why you have that name..."

He looks puzzled for a moment. I'm not sure but...

"Syaoran? Were you named after your eye colour because it's the same colour as a wolf's fur?"

He stares at me with wide eyes and is speechless for a moment before his gaze softens and he nods.

"I had a feeling, I was looking at your eyes...and I thought that such a beautiful grey suits you. I like it"

For a moment I see a spark of what looks like joy on his face but it quickly fades, masked by his expressionless demeanor.

"I'm glad"

I stand up and we walk back to the tent. The other children are already there eating.

"Soup..."

I mutter, slightly relieved that it's something warm this time.

"Yeah..."

He replies softly. We both take our portions and sit down. I have a spoon and gasp.

"Hot! Hot! Hot!"

I blow out trying to cool down my tongue and Syaoran chuckles slightly.

"Slowly, don't burn yourself."

"Too late for that."

I take another spoon and blow down on it, he does on his too and we both eat. A grateful smile forms on my lips.

"Warm...and yummy..."

He nods.

"Yeah, it's actually good..."

I end up finishing it quickly.

"I wish we could get seconds... I'm still hungry."

He looks over at me.

"Want the rest of mine?"

I look at him in surprise.

"What? No, that's yours I can't take it from you then you'll be hungry."

"Trust me I'm fine plus there's only a little bit left and I don't mind sharing"

I frown.

"Still, even that small bit is important"

He hands it to me.

"Think of it this way, I'm repaying you after hitting you earlier. Okay?"

I pause and look down at it.

"Fine...thank you, really"

He nods and watches me eat the rest with a small smile.

At twilight, we go to sleep. Again, I struggle to sleep due to my crude dreams. I groan and bury my face in my sleeve.

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