Boxers, Barking, and Blushing

I'm running through the streets with my little 'Cookie' in my arms until I finally feel far enough from home. I flag down a taxi, try to hide my nerves, and give the driver the address. I think it's been about half an hour—honestly, I'm not sure how long it's been.

The taxi driver tells me we've arrived. I've never been to this part of the city; it feels like a completely different world to me. The streetlights are dim, and I find myself standing in front of a gray, somewhat run-down building. I look at the number and the street name—it seems to match what I remember.

I just hope I'm not mistaken. It's already two in the morning, and I have no idea where else to go. I pay the driver and get out. There's no guard or anyone watching the entrance, so I just go in, climb up to the fifty floor, and approach door 504. I start knocking, but no one answers.

A couple of drunk men come up the stairs. They stare at me. I clutch Cookie tightly—I'd wrapped her in my jacket in the taxi, so I’m left wearing just a sheer blouse that shows my bra. My little dog starts barking at them, but instead of scaring them, it amuses them, and they keep approaching me.

—“Hey, sweetheart, come have a drink with us,” one of them says.

—“No, thank you,” I barely manage to reply.

—“Come on, you’ll have fun,” the other says, stepping too close.

I’m terrified. Cookie growls, but they just laugh. When one of them reaches to touch me, the door to 504 opens and Liam pulls me toward him, placing himself in front of me.

—“Babe, why are you so late? You should’ve told me so I could pick you up,” he says naturally, and I’m surprised.

—“Is She your girlfriend?” one of them asks.

—“Yes, and she’s mad at me,” Liam replies quickly.

—“Sorry, man, we didn’t know,” the other guy says, and they continue up the stairs.

Liam lets me in and closes the door. I breathe a little easier. When he turns on the light, I see he’s only wearing loose boxers, revealing his well-defined abs. I can’t help but stare until Cookie jumps out of my arms and starts playing on the furniture, prompting me to chase after her.

—“Marilyn, what are you doing here so late?” Liam asks.

—“I, um, I was looking for Jeremy,” I reply nervously.

—“Jeremy sleeps like the dead—even more than I do. I’ll go wake him up,” he says, eyeing me curiously.

Cookie tangles around my feet, and I feel myself about to crash to the floor, but Liam catches me, holding me by the waist and pulling me toward him. I’m sure he can feel my heart pounding. His scent is so intoxicating. We lock eyes, and for some ridiculous reason, I think Gregory would be mad if he saw this. I pull away.

—“Sorry, you were about to fall,” Liam says awkwardly.

—“I know. Thanks,” I answer, breathless.

—“I’ll go get Jeremy. Sit down,” he says as he walks away.

After a few minutes, Jeremy appears in superhero-print pajamas—so typical of his geeky style. I notice Liam has put on a T-shirt and pants. Thank goodness. His shirtless look was too much for me to handle.

—“Marilyn Thompson, in the middle of the night, around here? What happened?” Jeremy asks, clearly surprised.

—“My engagement to Gregory Smith is going to be announced in two major magazines. They took my ID, my cards, and my phone. I left home and didn’t know where else to go,” I tell him, my voice shaking.

Jeremy hugs me. I fall silent. At some point, Liam comes back with a glass of water, which he offers me once I’m seated on the couch. I explain everything that happened when I got home. I see Jeremy’s face fill with outrage, while Liam listens without reacting. After all, he’s not my friend—why would he care? I think to myself.

Jeremy lets me sleep in his bed. The light coming through the window wakes me up. I tie my hair into a ponytail. I look odd in the oversized T-shirt and pants my cousin lent me. The apartment Jeremy and Liam share has two bedrooms and one bathroom. The living room connects to the kitchen, and there’s a small table that serves as a dining area. When I leave the room, I see Liam making breakfast while Jeremy sleeps on the couch with Cookie curled up at his feet.

—“Good morning, Marilyn. I left a new toothbrush on the table, plus some women’s shampoo, soap, and a clean towel. Feel free to use the bathroom,” Liam says kindly.

I stare at him. A simple “thank you” doesn’t feel like enough. I came here with nothing and no idea what to do next.

—“Thank you so much. Sorry for the trouble,” I reply, embarrassed.

—“I know what it’s like to leave everything behind. You’ll figure it out,” he says, smiling as he scrambles some eggs. “Go clean up and eat something. Then we’ll get your ID reissued. The world didn’t end yesterday.”

I grab the items from the table and head to the bathroom. I remind myself that I may look like a 22-year-old girl, but I need to pull myself together and be strong. After all, I was about to turn 28 when I died in my last life. If I want to change my fate, I can’t be the scared girl who always hides behind nervous smiles and never cries so no one notices she’s lost.

As I walk into that tiny bathroom, I remember my old room—the one Gregory bought for us, though really with the money my grandmother left me. It was spacious and the only part of the house decorated to my taste.

Gregory and I only shared it for the first year of our marriage. Later, he said he left early and got home late because of work and didn’t want to disturb me. He claimed it was to respect my personal space. I believed him back then. Now I know he just didn’t want me to find out he was cheating. His distance and lack of intimacy always made me feel unattractive, even though people constantly told me how elegant I looked. They never knew I didn’t even appeal to my own husband.

I shake my head to get rid of the thought. I take off my clothes and step into the shower. As I turn on the water, I scream desperately and loudly—it’s freezing. I stumble back. I must have sounded like I was in danger, because Liam bursts in, alarmed.

—“What happened?” Liam asks, clearly panicked.

I’m completely naked. I turn bright red, grab the shower curtain to cover myself. Liam quickly turns around.

—“The water’s freezing,” I say nervously.

—“Sorry, we don’t have a heater. I thought something serious happened,” he says, flustered. “I’ll bring you some hot water.”

—“No, it’s okay. It was just the shock,” I reply, still mortified he saw me naked.

—“Alright. I’ll leave you to it,” Liam says, exiting and shutting the door.

How could this happen? I ask myself, utterly embarrassed. How am I supposed to face him now? I scold myself for not locking the bathroom door—I'm so used to having my own private bathroom. Why didn’t I test the water first? Again, I’m too used to it being just right.

After my shower, I rush straight to Jeremy’s room without looking at anyone. I close the door quickly. On the bed, I find a new set of women’s underwear and a blue tracksuit—all my size. I figure Jeremy must have a good eye. I’m so grateful to have him. For a moment, the embarrassment of the bathroom incident fades.

When I leave the room, I find Jeremy still in his superhero PJs, sleepily eating breakfast. I don’t see Liam anywhere, so I relax and sit down.

—“Thanks for the clothes you got me. You’ve got a good eye—even for my underwear size. You’re amazing,” I tell him.

—“What? I’m still half-asleep. I didn’t bring you anything,” he says groggily.

—“You left a bra, panties, and a tracksuit on the bed—all brand new,” I insist.

—“That wasn’t me. Liam probably bought those at the corner store—they sell everything—and left them there,” Jeremy says so fast I can barely process it.

At that moment, Liam walks out of his room. He looks at me, grabs his car keys from the table.

—“Looks like it fits,” he says calmly. Then to Jeremy, “Come on, Jey. Don’t be late. We need to take Marilyn to get her ID. I’ll get the car—meet me downstairs in fifteen.” He heads out.

I sit frozen in my chair, wondering why Liam bought all those things for me—and how he knew my size. I hug myself, mortified, thinking maybe he knew because he saw me naked. Jeremy looks at me, puzzled.

—“What’s up with you, Marilyn?” he asks through a mouthful of food.

I stay silent, wondering where I’d go now. Jeremy is my only support, and he lives with Liam.

—“I’m going to change so we can leave. Don’t worry about what Liam bought—you can pay him back after we get our check from that last job.”

I don’t reply. I know I need to eat something, so I do it quickly while Jeremy goes to get dressed. When we go downstairs, Liam is already waiting in the car. Jeremy sits in the front seat. I sit in the back, keeping my eyes down so I won’t meet Liam’s in the rearview mirror.

—“I really didn’t see much. I was just worried something happened to you. Don’t stress about it,” Liam says casually, which only makes me more embarrassed.

—“What happened? What did you see?” Jeremy asks. When we don’t answer, he tries again. “Is this about Marilyn’s scream that woke me up? Why did you scream, Marilyn?”

I say nothing, more nervous than ever, unable to find the words.

—“Maybe I should get naked so we’ll be even and you won’t feel so embarrassed,” Liam says shamelessly.

—“So you did see something! Maybe I don’t have an amazing body, but I didn’t mean for you to see it!” I shoot back.

—“Whoever told you that doesn’t know what they’re talking about. You look great. It was an accident—you’re making too big a deal of it,” Liam says like we’re talking about the weather.

—“Maybe you’re used to showing yourself off, but I’m not like that,” I reply, a bit hurt.

—“Sorry. I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. It was never my intention to invade your privacy like that. I know you probably want to show yourself only to someone special,” Liam says, more gently.

Only to someone special. That phrase stings. In my past life, the only man I’d ever been with was Gregory—and look how that ended: dead in the street, betrayed by my husband and my best friend, run over after discovering their affair. I fall silent. Liam doesn’t say another word. Jeremy looks at each of us, completely lost. The car pulls away from the building, passing the little store on the corner—right in front, a mannequin wears the same tracksuit I’m in, but in a different color.

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