the walk.

Not all have experienced it. The moment where you watch the sunset; your eyes filled with emptiness, all you could hold unto is loneliness. Maybe some has experienced it, the rushed emotions, the voice that keeps telling you, you aren't good enough however you keep wishing. You keep on begging to be seen; to be heard, to be found. yeah! that feeling.

perhaps maybe emptiness isn't all to life probably there's more to it than self-isolation, the lonely walk alone in the park, the long night crying your eye out isn't all to it.

Everyone is busy cleaning up their own mess, some might relate while some might find it hard to understand. So what… Life is life, don't expect it to be always cozy just like how some finds their healing in bottles, while some search for inner peace and forgiveness, same but different approach it's what it's. what ever one choose is theirs to deal with, why should I be the judge of something I'm not.

It's not known to everyone, but I believe some might have understood the assignment by looking at their empty eyes, that very eyes that stood out, the eyes that yearn for affection, the eye's that wants freedom, the eyes that keeps you coming back, keeps you anticipating, keep you wandering what's in their mind, what's their story.

The trail which life leaves behind Is always different just like how every human print is different.

One advise I learned not too late is...

Dearest don't expect too much from life or else you will be disappointed. Don't expect much from anyone else you'll be surely broken at the end. If they eventually left at the middle, and you are there still waiting at the finish line don't expect everyone will accept you for who you are the search for love from everyone brings more sadness; the more people you keep close the more trouble your heart. don't expect to be treat like the rest. the equality you seek is irrelevant, don't disappoint yourself, you already familiar with the way of nature how unpredictable the Waves goes think about it, even nature is still under serious observation why waste your time seeking validation from all? You know that is impossible everyone can't be your friend leave it or you take it that's the truth.

one thing I also learn about not so late in life was how unfair life might seen some have it all while some have less, some doesn't have at all, whatever category you are in yeah so what? that isn't new will you start oppressing because you think you have it all, will you start crying about it again? will you start hating on everything and everyone ? will you keep screaming until you lose your voice? will you cut yourself untill you feel less shitty? will you hide yourself, will you pass the blame onto someone else cause that makes it less painful or will you take charge of that destiny of yours?

I also learn about this not too late in life. We are what we say we are...our voices moves to the wavelength of what we say and think. If all day you repeat I'm a failure surely failure and bad luck will always find it way to you, if you're the type you're always optimistic even in shitty situations, you aren't just delusional but calm, surely all you precise shall come your way.

Isn't that funny.. you're what you tell yourself you're. You're what you eat. Does that ring a bell? Now do you understand what I'm trying to say? if you don't yeah.! Cool let move on.

dear dairy today felt like shit yet I'm still hoping, when will I find my way?.

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