Chapter seventeen :Seth

I’ve been ignoring her on purpose.

It’s not out of spite—it’s fear. We’re getting too close, dangerously close. And people are beginning to notice.

The other day, I walked into the café for our usual tutoring session. Nyla was running late, so it was just Jessica and me at the table. She shifted in her seat and softly said, “Mr. Seth?”

I looked at her. “What is it, Jessica?”

She hesitated for a second, then asked, “Is there something going on between you two?”

I blinked. “Who two?”

“You and Nyla.”

I almost laughed, but there was a tremor in my chest. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know… there’s just this vibe. Like something’s happening between you two.”

“She’s my student,” I said flatly. “What are you expecting? Don’t be delusional, Jessica. I see her the same way I see you. Now focus on your studies.”

My voice sounded steady, but inside, my heart was aching. My soul? Terrified. Terrified that my feelings would slip through the cracks. That someone would see it, or worse—she would.

Later that day at school, my colleague, the physics teacher, gave me a teasing nudge. “You and Nyla, huh? Something going on there?” he smirked.

I chuckled it off, but my insides clenched. Was it that obvious? Were we truly that transparent? Maybe it wasn’t anything I did… maybe it was just our eyes. Maybe they talk too loud—louder than either of us intends.

When Nyla finally arrived at the café, I kept my head down. I didn’t dare meet her gaze. Not when Jessica was watching. Not when I knew what would happen the moment our eyes locked. There’s something about her eyes—they pull me in like gravity, and suddenly, the world disappears.

So instead, I focused on the dull formulas in front of me. Words and numbers I didn’t care about. Anything but her eyes. She caught up with me after the session, but I walked away. Like a coward.

I hate myself for that. I hate how immature it all feels. How silent everything is between us now.

And the worst part? The next day, I tried to repeat the same thing—coldness, distance, indifference. But it wasn’t just me this time. Nyla didn’t look my way either. Didn’t try to talk. It’s like we were both scared, like we were both pretending this didn’t hurt.

But it does.

It hurts more than I thought it would.

And maybe… its the better way for both of us.I honestly have no idea how she's feeling, but today, she hasn't looked at me. She acts like I'm invisible—the same way I acted yesterday. Her face was expressionless, unreadable, and seeing that, I totally wanted to ask her, talk to her, but I guess she knows that we're both doing the right thing i guess.

She didn’t even glance at me today. Not once.

No little smile, no questioning eyes, no tilt of her head like she was silently asking “what’s wrong?”

Nothing.

Just… silence.

And I guess that’s what I deserve.

But God—her silence cuts deeper than I thought it would.

She sat at the far end of the table, her books spread out like a wall between us. Her eyes never met mine, not even when I said something directly to the group. She nodded sometimes, answered when asked, but never really looked at me.

I could feel the distance. Like this invisible, cold glass building up between us, thick and heavy. And the worst part is… I started it.

I was the one who looked away first.

I was the one who ignored her, who didn’t dare meet her eyes because I was afraid of how deep I’d fall again.

Now she’s doing the same.

And it stings more than I expected.

I thought keeping my distance would make it better. Safer.

But watching her pull away…

Watching her become colder with each passing second…It’s not better.

I want to say something. Anything.

But the words stick to my throat.

Because what do I say? That I miss her warmth? That I regret avoiding her? That maybe this—whatever this is—means more to me than I’m willing to admit out loud?

I can't.

So I sit there like an idiot. Pretending to focus. Pretending everything’s fine.

But inside, I’m just wondering…

how much colder will she get before she freezes me out completely.

What should I do?What’s the right thing for both of us?Is it this silent treatment, or should we talk things out?

But none of that happened.

The day ended in silence.

I watched her walk toward her house without a single glance in my direction.

And soon after, I turned my back and walked home, my heart heavier than my bag.

Dad was there, sitting in the living room, watching my face closely.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing, Dad,” I replied, placing my bag on the table.

“You seem kind of sad. You can tell me, you know? I’m your dad. You can share your thoughts.” I would rather die than telling him.

“No, Dad. I’m fine, actually. It was just a tough day at school, that’s all.”

“This is why I keep telling you to take business,” he snapped. “It’s way better than this stupid teaching.”

“Dad, will you stop this? I’m tired. I need to sleep.”

I turned to head toward my room when he suddenly asked, “Are you in love with anyone?”

The question made me freeze.

Almost made me jump.

I turned back sharply. “What? What made you ask that?”

“Just asking. That girl who came here a couple of times—for cookies and her math exam. She’s your...?”

“Student,” I cut him off, my voice sharp. “She’s just my student. I’m tutoring her because her parents pay me, that’s all. Don’t overthink things. And I’m done talking.”

So he knew about her second visit?

I walked off and slammed the door behind me.After a long, warm shower, I slid under my blanket.

My mind didn’t slow down—not even a little.Thoughts kept crashing in like waves.

I don’t even remember when I fell asleep.

But even on the edge of sleep, her face lingered in my mind.

Nyla

She was the only thing I saw.

The only one I couldn’t stop seeing.

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