Chapter fourteen : Nyla

We hugged each other tightly. His face was buried in my chest as he wept silently. His body trembled, and I could feel the weight of years collapsing into that single moment. I ran my fingers through his dark black hair, soft and slightly damp from the warmth between us. Over and over, I whispered, “It’s okay to cry. It’s okay. It’s okay…” and he never stopped crying.

It felt strange—watching a grown man crumble like that. But I wasn’t scared. I didn’t flinch. Maybe I’m just mature enough to understand that no matter the age, people carry burdens too heavy to bear alone. And everyone—no matter how strong they seem—needs to be allowed to fall apart.

So I held him. I held him until the shaking eased, until the sobs softened. Slowly, he pulled away, his eyes meeting mine—red, swollen, and impossibly tender. He didn’t say anything at first. Just looked at me like I was something unfamiliar… something safe.

“I’m really glad you chose to open up to me,” I said softly. “Really, Seth. I’m glad you did.”

He didn’t blink. “Nyla… I don’t know. You make me feel something else. Something I haven’t felt in years.”His voice cracked slightly, and my heart clenched.

“I’m just scared,” he admitted. “That things between us… will get ruined. That we’ll cross a line we can’t come back from. And we shouldn't be anything more than teacher and student.”

I reached up, gently stroking my fingers along the edge of his cheek, tracing the remnants of his tears.

“I understand, Mr. Seth,” I whispered. “I didn’t tell you because I wanted something more. I told you because… I wanted you to know. That someone sees you. That someone cares. I understand our situation. I really do.”

“Nyla,” he said, his voice steadier now, but still soft, “I’m really, really, really glad… just so happy that you patiently listened to every single word. I know it’s kind of dramatic or maybe even weird… but thank you. Thank you for being here, for letting me open up like that.”

I shook my head immediately, holding his gaze. “No,” I said, gently but firmly. “This is never dramatic or weird. It’s your life, Mr. Seth. Your pain, your memories, your heart… they’re all valid. Your life has worth, so it’s never a dramatic thing to talk about it. Never.”

His eyes grew softer, and I could feel something in him let go—like a hidden weight he’d been carrying finally fell off.

I stood up too, gently taking his arms in mine and looking into his eyes.

“Mr. Seth, you can always talk to me,” I continued softly. “And I… I wish to talk about my problems with you too. Your problems, they’re also like my problems. You’ll always be someone special to me. Even if we never date, or cross that line… in my heart, you’ll still hold that space.”

He smiled faintly, something soft and real. “Now, again… thank you, Nyla. But it’s getting late and you need to get home. Thanks for being here, truly. And… I hope you’ll ease through your exam tomorrow. I won’t be coming to school though.”

I smiled at him. Not because I wasn’t sad that he wouldn’t be there—but because I understood. And that felt like growth.

I reached for his hand, pressing my lips gently against it before slowly turning away.As I walked forward then glanced over my shoulder one last time. He was still standing there, watching me with that unreadable, quiet expression. I waved him a small goodbye. He didn’t say anything—just nodded.And then… I left.

I reached home and went straight to my room. I didn’t even change, didn’t even pull the blanket over me—I just flopped on my bed, staring at the ceiling.Everything was quiet, too quiet. Except for my mind. It was spinning.I knew it. We weren’t going to date. He made that clear. And I told him I understood. And I do… I do understand our situation.

But why does it still hurt?

I pressed my face into the pillow, trying to calm that weird ache in my chest. I wasn’t crying, not exactly—but it felt like something inside me had cracked open. Like a balloon filled with silent hope had deflated slowly.

He wasn’t going to ignore me anymore. That was clear. We talked. We opened up. We shared. We became… friends.

Just friends.

The worst part is, we both feel something. It’s there. I’ve seen it in his eyes, heard it in his voice, felt it in his touch.And now we’re meant to be friends.

It sucks. It really, really sucks.

Because deep inside me, in the part of me that still dreams quietly, I wanted him to be mine. I wanted to be his. Not in some loud, public, romantic way—but in that quiet, forever kind of way. I wanted to be beside him through everything. His hand in mine. My shoulder for his sorrows. His world and mine… softly blending.

But instead, we’re here.Respecting boundaries.Understanding our roles.Pretending like this is enough.

I closed my eyes and whispered to the ceiling, “Why does love feel like this sometimes?”

No answer came. Just silence. And maybe that’s what hurts the most.

I was strong around him.

When he collapsed onto me, when he wept into my chest, when his body shook with unspoken pain—I was the one who stood strong. I whispered soft things, ran my fingers through his hair, wiped away his tears. I held him.But now…

Now there’s no one around me. Just me. Me in between these four walls. And my mind spinning like crazy.

I stared blankly at the ceiling, trying to hold it together. But I couldn’t. A tear slipped quietly from the corner of my eye, rolling down the side of my face and onto the pillow. It wasn’t dramatic. It wasn’t loud. But it was real.Uncontrollable.

It’s probably because I’m thinking too much. About how I won’t get him anymore. About how I have to stop my little mission—the teasing, the flirting, the silent ways I tried to make him mine.

Because he’s never going to be mine.He will never be.

I laid still. Motionless. Like a body without its spark. My heart thudded quietly in my chest, and the air around me felt heavier than ever.I slowly closed my eyes, and another tear followed. Slower. Sadder.

And soon… sleep came. Dragged me down into a dark and quiet place.

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The next morning came quicker than I expected.

I got ready in a rush—didn’t even notice how many times I messed up my hair or forgot if I brushed twice. I just needed to make it to school. I had an exam waiting. Mathematics. The one subject that haunted me. But today… I don’t know. Something in me felt different.

Maybe because yesterday, I had already survived something tougher than any exam could ever be.

I ate a quick breakfast, barely tasted anything, and dashed to school. The nerves danced inside me, but when I held the pen, when the paper came in front of me… everything felt like it clicked.

And I did great. I knew I did.

Later that day, when the results came, my heart thudded against my ribs.

A+.

I blinked at it again and again. A+ in Mathematics.I couldn't believe it.

I rushed out of school like a child let out for summer break, my heart on fire with happiness. I reached home, kicked my shoes off, and grabbed my phone with both trembling hands. My fingers hovered over the contact. I pressed call.Speaker on.

It rang.My hands were sweating.

“Hello?”

His voice.

“Oh—hi, Seth… it’s…”

“Nyla?” He said quickly, voice lighter than yesterday. “What is it?”

“I… I got an A+,” I whispered first, and then said louder, unable to contain the joy, “I got an A+ in today’s exam! Can you believe it?”

“Oh my God! That’s amazing, Nyla!” he exclaimed. “I knew you could do it.”

I smiled so wide my cheeks hurt. “Thank you so much… it’s all because of you.”

“No… it’s your hard work too.”

Silence.

That weird kind of silence where you know both of you are smiling, but also trying to say something neither can say.

I softly asked, “How are you feeling now?”

“I’m good,” he replied, and then asked gently, “What about you?”

“I’m fine,” I said. The awkwardest fine I’ve ever said in my life. My voice cracked a little.

Another silence.

Then he cleared his throat. “Well… have a great day. And again—great work. I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you…” I whispered.

And we hung up.

I stared at my screen for a second before pulling it close and pressing it against my chest. I collapsed back onto the bed, burying my face in the pillow, blushing and smiling like a complete idiot.

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