For the past month, I had seen only one version of Ritesh—the confident, intelligent, and almost untouchable NEET warrior.
The guy who could solve physics in his sleep.
The guy who stayed calm even during the toughest tests.
The guy who had scored 600+ but missed MBBS by just 45 marks.
But that night, for the first time, I saw a different side of him.
A side that made me realize—even toppers are human.
---
The Breaking Point
It was 1:30 AM.
I had just finished struggling with a chemistry test paper and was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling.
Ritesh was sitting at his study table, looking at his Allen major test results.
His face was blank. But his hands were clenched into fists.
I ignored it at first. After all, he was a topper.
What could possibly be bothering him?
But then, out of nowhere, he muttered, "Main MBBS ke laayak nahi hoon."
I immediately sat up. "Bhai, kya bol raha hai?"
He didn't answer. Instead, he closed his test booklet, stood up, and left the room.
---
A Moment of Vulnerability
I found him sitting on the stairs outside our hostel, staring at the night sky.
I hesitated. Ritesh was someone who always had everything under control. Seeing him like this felt strange.
I sat beside him and asked, "Kya hua?"
For a long time, he didn’t reply. Then, he let out a bitter laugh.
"Pata hai Rohan, jab maine NEET diya tha na, mujhe laga tha iss baar ho jaayega. Bas 45 marks se chhoot gaya... sirf 45 marks. Aur ab phir se yeh sab shuru ho gaya hai."
I didn't know what to say.
"Main sochta hoon, agar iss baar bhi nahi hua toh?" he continued. "Do saal barbaad. Sab bolte hain main topper hoon, par agar main fir se fail ho gaya toh?"
And that’s when it hit me.
The fear of failure isn’t just for average students like me.
Even someone like Ritesh, who had a 600+ score, was scared. Terrified, even.
Maybe, in a way, his fear was worse than mine.
Because for me, the world already expected nothing.
But for him? The world expected everything.
---
A Small Moment of Reassurance
"Bhai," I said, trying to find the right words. "Tu jaanta hai na, tune pehle bhi 600 maara tha. Tu phir bhi 600 maar sakta hai."
Ritesh shook his head. "Sab yeh hi bolte hain. Par jab paper aata hai na, tab sab bhool jaata hoon. Dar lagta hai, Rohan. Har test ke pehle lagta hai ki agar marks gir gaye toh main phir se failure ban jaunga."
I took a deep breath. "Bhai, bas ek baat yaad rakh. Tu failure tabhi banega jab tu koshish karna chhod dega. Jab tak tu koshish kar raha hai, tu kabhi nahi harega."
Ritesh looked at me, and for the first time, I saw doubt in his eyes.
Maybe he had always been strong for others but never allowed himself to be weak.
Maybe this was the first time he let himself feel scared.
And maybe... that was okay.
Because no matter how smart you are,
fear spares no one.
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