Episode 15: "The Ultimate Test! / Episode 16: "Leaving Town? Not So Fast!

Episode 15: "The Ultimate Test! (Or Ultimate Disaster?)"

Mission: Prove That the Training Worked! (Or Die Trying)

Kulastog wakes up feeling like a new man. His muscles ache, his face is still slightly swollen from training, and his ego has yet to recover from getting one-shotted by Rei multiple times…

But today is different.

Today, he finally puts his training to the test!

Kulastog: "Alright! I feel stronger! I feel faster! I feel—"

Rei: "—Like testing it on an actual monster?"

Kulastog: "...Wait, what?"

Rei: "There’s a rogue ogre terrorizing the village. Perfect test subject."

Kulastog: "...I was thinking maybe a practice dummy first?"

Rei: "Too late. I already signed you up."

Kulastog: "...You did what?" 😨

Rei: "You're welcome." 😏

👹 Enter: The Angry Ogre! (Why Is It So Big?!)

📍 Village outskirts

The ground shakes violently as something HUGE approaches.

💥 BOOM!

👹 A MASSIVE OGRE APPEARS, smashing through a wooden fence like it was made of paper.

Villagers: "WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!" 😱

Kulastog: "...I THINK I’M GONNA DIE TOO!"

👹 Ogre: "GRRRRRRRR!" (Slams the ground, creating a shockwave.)

🌿 Nearby trees FALL OVER.

🌪️ Dust fills the air.

Kulastog: "...Hey, uh, Rei? You sure this isn't a FINAL BOSS?!"

Rei: "Nah, probably just a mini-boss."

Kulastog: "MINI?! THIS THING IS BIGGER THAN MY HOUSE!"

Rei: "Good. That means it's a bigger target."

Kulastog: "I SWEAR TO THE GODS, REI—"

⚔️ Round 1: Offense! (Or Just Running?)

Kulastog: "OKAY, TIME TO ATTACK!" 💪

🔥 Kulastog charges forward, fists clenched.

💥 Throws his STRONGEST PUNCH!

👊 (Punch lands on the ogre’s knee.)

👹 Ogre: "..."

🦵 Ogre doesn’t even react.

Kulastog: "...Oh no."

💥 (Ogre casually FLICKS Kulastog.)

🏹 Kulastog gets sent FLYING across the village.

🌲 SMACKS into a tree.

🐦 A few birds fall out of the branches.

Kulastog: "...Pain."

Rei: (Eating an apple) "So… you wanna try again?"

Kulastog: "I WANNA GO HOME!" 😭

🏃‍♂️ Round 2: Defense! (Or Just Screaming?)

👹 Ogre: "GRRRRR!"

💥 (Swings MASSIVE fist at Kulastog!)

Kulastog: (Remembers reflex training.) "I GOT THIS!"

💨 Ducks just in time!

💥 Ogre's fist SMASHES into the ground, creating a crater!

Villagers: "OH MY GOD, THAT COULD’VE BEEN HIS HEAD."

Rei: "Hey, nice dodge!"

Kulastog: "THANKS—"

💥 (Ogre swings SECOND FIST.)

💀 Kulastog gets LAUNCHED AGAIN.

Kulastog: "I HATE THIS STUPID MONSTER!"

🎯 Round 3: Strategy Mode (Because Brawling Clearly Isn’t Working)

Rei: "Okay, obviously, punching is useless. Try using strategy."

Kulastog: "Like what?"

Rei: "IDK, use your surroundings or something."

👀 Kulastog looks around.

🪵 Sees a wooden cart full of barrels.

⚡ IDEA ACTIVATED.

🎯 The Big Brain Plan! (…Maybe?)

Kulastog: "HEY, UGLY! OVER HERE!"

👹 Ogre: "RAAAAAAH!"

🔥 Ogre charges at Kulastog!

🏃‍♂️ Kulastog SPRINTS towards the cart.

📍 TIMING HAS TO BE PERFECT!

💨 Right as the ogre reaches him—

💥 Kulastog DIVES OUT OF THE WAY!

👹 Ogre SMASHES INTO THE CART!

🌊 Barrels BURST OPEN—SPILLING OIL EVERYWHERE!

🔥 Time for the Finisher!

Kulastog: "HAHA! I’M A GENIUS!"

Rei: "Okay, but what’s the plan now?"

Kulastog: "Uhhh…"

🔥 (Accidentally steps on a torch.)

🔥🔥🔥 The oil CATCHES FIRE!

Kulastog: "OH CRAP—"

💥 🔥 MASSIVE EXPLOSION! 🔥

👹 OGRE GETS LAUNCHED INTO THE SKY!

💀 (Disappears like Team Rocket.)

Villagers: "HE DID IT! KULASTOG BEAT THE OGRE!" 🎉

🌟 The Aftermath… (And Unexpected Reward?)

Rei: "Wow. You actually won."

Kulastog: (Still on fire) "Y-yeah… totally planned that." 😅

Village Chief: "Young hero! As a reward, take this special bow!"

🗡️ [ITEM UNLOCKED: HUNTER’S BOW!] 🏹

Kulastog: "OH LET’S GO! NEW WEAPON!"

Rei: "Try shooting an arrow."

🏹 Kulastog pulls the bowstring…

💥 Arrow flies straight up.

💨 [5 seconds later…]

💀 Arrow lands back and hits Kulastog in the foot.

Kulastog: "AAAAAAAAGH! WHY AM I LIKE THIS?!"

Rei: "...You know what? I’m not even surprised anymore."

Episode 16: "Leaving Town? Not So Fast! (Extended Fight Edition)"

📍 Village Gate – The Journey Begins (Or Not?!)

After surviving the OGRE INCIDENT (and somehow NOT dying), Kulastog is FINALLY ready to leave the village.

🏔️ Destination: The Mountain Region.

🚶 Mode of Travel: His own two feet.

😅 Confidence Level: Flimsy at best.

Kulastog: "Alright, Rei! Time to move out!"

Rei: "Yep. Just one problem."

Kulastog: "Huh?"

🚧 The Village Guards Block the Exit. 🚧

[VILLAGE CHIEF ENTERS THE CHAT.]

Village Chief: "Sorry, but you’re not leaving just yet."

Kulastog: "Wait, WHAT?!"

🎭 The Village’s Big Problem (Again?!)

Village Chief: "You see… the ogre you defeated? It had a boss."

Kulastog: "...A what?"

Village Chief: "A BIGGER, STRONGER BOSS."

Kulastog: "...No." 😨

Village Chief: "And it’s coming here."

Kulastog: "NOOOOOO—"

Rei: "Hehe, looks like you’re famous now."

🔥 A MONSTER ATTACKS! THE VILLAGE TREMBLES!

📍 Village Watchtower

A GUARD WITH A SPYGLASS SUDDENLY SCREAMS:

Guard: "INCOMING! HUGE MONSTER! AAAAAAAAAA!" 😱

🌲 Trees shake violently.

💨 A SHADOW looms over the horizon.

💥 BOOM. BOOM. BOOM.

👹 A MASSIVE 20-FOOT BEAST APPEARS!

🐗 [BOSS MONSTER: RAMPAGING WAR BOAR] 🐗

Villagers: "OH GODS, IT’S HUGE!"

Kulastog: "WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?!"

🔥 THE MONSTER CHARGES INTO THE VILLAGE! 🔥

🏃 VILLAGERS SCATTER IN PANIC!

Rei: "You’re up, hero. Don’t disappoint." 😏

Kulastog: "I'M GONNA DIE!" 😭

🏹 BATTLE START! ARCHERY PRACTICE (OR DISASTER?!)

🏹 Kulastog pulls out his bow and arrow.

Kulastog: "Okay! Time to prove I’m not useless!"

💨 (Pulls the string back, aims carefully… and lets it fly!)

💨💨💨 Arrow soars through the sky…

💥 AND HITS A RANDOM CHICKEN.

🐔 Chicken: "BOK BOK?!"

Villagers: "HE JUST SHOT A CHICKEN?!"

Rei: "...I can’t believe this is our hero." 😑

Kulastog: "MY BAD, MY BAD!" 😭

🐗 [BOSS MONSTER CHARGES] 🐗

💥 THE GROUND RUMBLES!

🔥 BOSS MONSTER VS. KULASTOG – ROUND 1! 🔥

🐗 THE BOAR SWINGS ITS MASSIVE TUSKS!

💥 WOODEN STALLS GET DESTROYED!

Kulastog: "OH SH—!" (Jumps to the side!)

💨 BARELY DODGES!

Kulastog: "Okay, focus. One shot, one kill!"

🏹 Kulastog aims again—Fires!

💨 Arrow flies… AND HITS A LAUNDRY LINE.

👕 CLOTHES FLY EVERYWHERE.

👵 Old Lady: "MY UNDERWEAR!"

Rei: "I swear to the gods, this is painful to watch."

🐗 [BOSS MONSTER CHARGES AGAIN!] 🐗

💨 Kulastog jumps onto a roof—CRASHES THROUGH IT.

🏠 (Villager stares at him in silence.)

Kulastog: "Uh… Nice house you got here?" 😅

🏠 (Villager throws a broom at him.)

🔥 VILLAGERS JOIN THE FIGHT!

👴 Village Grandpa steps up.

Village Grandpa: "Back in my day, we fought monsters with our bare hands!"

👴 (Punches the boar.)

💥 (HURTS HIS OWN HAND.)

👴 "AAAH! MY BONES!"

👵 Village Grandma enters.

Village Grandma: "TIME TO TEACH THIS BEAST A LESSON!"

👵 (Throws a rice cooker at the boar.)

🐗 BOAR GETS HIT ON THE HEAD.

🐗 [STUNNED FOR 2 SECONDS.]

Kulastog: "…WHY DID THAT WORK?!"

Rei: "These villagers are something else."

🔥 KULASTOG’S BIG PLAN (OR TOTAL NONSENSE?!)

Kulastog: "OKAY, OKAY, I GOT IT!"

🏹 (Loads five arrows at once— because why not?)

🎯 (Fires blindly into the air!)

💨💨💨 Arrows fly randomly—

💀 ONE HITS A WATER BUCKET.

💀 ONE HITS A SCARECROW.

💀 ONE FLIES BACK AND ALMOST HITS KULASTOG.

🔥 BUT ONE HITS A LANTERN!

💥 THE LANTERN FALLS… HITTING A CART OF GUNPOWDER!

💥💥💥 BOOOOOOOM! 💥💥💥

🐗 THE BOSS MONSTER GETS BLOWN AWAY!

🎉 Victory? (No Way That Actually Worked.)

💨 Smoke clears.

🐗 The Boss Monster… is UNCONSCIOUS.

🎺 VILLAGERS CHEER! 🎺

Villagers: "OUR HERO!"

Kulastog: "...DID I JUST WIN?"

Rei: "You accidentally won."

Kulastog: "DOESN’T MATTER, I’LL TAKE IT!"

📜 Reward Time! (Unexpected Gift?)

Village Chief: "You saved us again! Here’s a reward!"

🗡️ [SKILL UNLOCKED: BASIC ARCHERY!] 🏹

🏆 [BONUS REWARD: A PACKED LUNCH] 🍱

Kulastog: "Wait, why food?"

Village Chief: "For the road, of course! Now, get out before you cause more damage!"

Kulastog: "I FEEL SO UNAPPRECIATED!" 😭

Rei: "You’ll live."

💨 And with that, Kulastog and Rei FINALLY leave the village…

🔥 NEXT STOP: THE MOUNTAINS! 🔥

TO BE CONTINUED IN EPISODE 17!

What dangers await them in the mountains?

Will Kulastog actually win a fight on purpose?

And will Rei ever stop bullying him? (Probably not.)

😂 STAY TUNED!

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