Episode 7: First Monster Raid! (Please Don’t Die, Kulastog!) /

Episode 7: First Monster Raid! (Please Don’t Die, Kulastog!)

Kulastog stood at the edge of the dense forest, gripping his bow and arrow.

"Alright! It’s time to hunt my first monster!"

Rei crossed his arms.

"Just don’t die."

Kulastog scoffed.

"Pffft, please. I’m Level 10 now! I’m basically an expert!"

BOOM!

A tree suddenly exploded nearby.

Kulastog froze.

"Uhh… w-what was that?"

Rei smirked.

"Your first target."

Kulastog turned… and his soul nearly left his body.

Monster #1: The Rabid Armadillo

A massive, spiky armadillo rolled out from the bushes, smashing trees like a bowling ball.

Its eyes glowed red, and its armor looked tougher than Kulastog’s future.

"W-WAIT A MINUTE! THAT THING LOOKS STRONG!"

Rei shrugged.

"Well, yeah. That’s why you’re fighting it."

Kulastog gulped.

"Maybe we should—"

BOOM!

The armadillo spun at high speed and launched itself at him!

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

Kulastog dove to the side, barely dodging.

"IT’S TOO FAST! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO HIT IT?!"

Rei yawned.

"Figure it out, genius."

Battle Start!

Kulastog loaded an arrow and aimed.

"Alright… stay calm… and—"

WHOOSH!

The armadillo bounced off a tree and RUSHED at him again!

"HOLY—!"

Kulastog fired in panic—

CLANG!

The arrow bounced off the monster’s armor.

Kulastog: "..."

Rei: "..."

"Uhhh… that wasn’t supposed to happen."

Rei facepalmed.

"Of course it bounced off. IT HAS ARMOR, DUMBASS."

Kulastog groaned.

"Then how am I supposed to hurt it?!"

Rei sighed.

"You have a bow, idiot. Aim for the weak spot."

Kulastog blinked.

"Weak spot? ...WAIT! I SEE IT!"

The armadillo stopped moving for a second, revealing its soft underbelly.

Kulastog smirked.

"Oh, I got this."

He took a deep breath, aimed… and—

SLIP!

His foot stepped on a banana peel.

"W-WAIT, WHAT?!"

THUD!

Kulastog fell flat on his face.

Rei burst out laughing.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

Kulastog’s "Genius" Plan

Kulastog quickly rolled away as the armadillo charged again, leaving a crater where he just was.

"OKAY, NEW PLAN! RUN FOR MY LIFE!"

Rei shook his head.

"Terrible plan."

Kulastog sprinted through the forest, the armadillo chasing after him at full speed.

"HOW IS IT THIS FAST?!"

Rei casually walked behind them.

"You’re just slow."

Kulastog ignored him.

THINK, THINK, THINK!

Then—he saw it.

A large tree with a hollow trunk ahead.

Kulastog smirked.

"Perfect!"

He rushed towards the tree and jumped inside the hollow trunk.

The armadillo, going full speed, rolled in after him—

But there was one problem.

IT. GOT. STUCK.

"HAHA! GOT YOU!" Kulastog cheered.

The armadillo wiggled violently inside the tree, trying to free itself.

Kulastog stepped out, pulled his bow, and aimed at its exposed belly.

"Time to end this—"

Suddenly, the armadillo stopped struggling.

It took a deep breath…

AND INFLATED ITSELF LIKE A BALLOON.

Kulastog’s eyes widened.

"Wait, WAIT, WAIT—!"

BOOM!

The tree exploded into splinters, sending Kulastog flying into the air.

WHAM!

He landed face-first in the dirt.

Rei clapped slowly.

"Amazing. Truly a genius."

Kulastog spat out dirt.

"Shut up."

Victory by Accident?!

The armadillo, dizzy from its own explosion, struggled to get back up.

Kulastog groaned as he got back to his feet.

"Okay… enough playing around."

He took a deep breath, nocked an arrow, and aimed.

The armadillo turned just in time—

WHOOSH!

The arrow pierced its weak spot.

The monster froze… then collapsed.

Kulastog panted.

"I… I DID IT?! THAT WAS SKILL, RIGHT?!"

Rei stared at him.

"No. That was pure dumb luck."

Kulastog grinned.

"EXACTLY. AND LUCK IS A SKILL!"

Level Up!

Kulastog has reached Level 15!

+5 Dexterity

+3 Perception

+5% Accuracy (If he’s NOT slipping on bananas.)

Rei sighed.

"I swear, I’m gonna die from secondhand embarrassment."

Kulastog struck a victory pose.

"HAHA! FEAR ME, MONSTERS! I AM KULASTOG, THE—"

RUSTLE.

They both froze.

The ground started shaking.

"Uh… what was that?" Kulastog whispered.

Suddenly, three pairs of glowing red eyes appeared in the darkness.

Rei smirked.

"Looks like you pissed off its family."

Kulastog’s soul left his body.

"OH, COME ON!!"

Episode 8: Triple Trouble! (Oh No, Not Again!)

Previously…

Kulastog barely survived his first monster fight against a rabid armadillo. 😵‍💫

Somehow, through dumb luck and a lot of screaming, he won. 🎯

BUT NOW…

Three more armadillos just showed up.

Enter the Armadillo Brothers!

Kulastog: "Okay, okay, let's not panic—"_

BOOM! The ground shook violently as the three giant armadillos lined up, ready to roll.

Rei smirked.

"Oh wow. You made them mad. Congrats."

Kulastog gulped.

"H-hey, we can talk about this, right?"

The biggest armadillo grunted and turned to the others.

Big Bro Armadillo (Tank-Type) 🛡️: "GRRRRRR!" (Translation: "Let’s kill this idiot.")

Middle Bro Armadillo (Speed-Type) 💨: "CHRRRK!" (Translation: "I call first hit!")

Little Bro Armadillo (Wild-Card) 🤪: "SQUEEEEE!" (Translation: "I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING!")

Kulastog: "…I hate everything right now."

Rei: "Me too, but for different reasons."

The Battle Begins! ⚔️

Phase 1: RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE

WHOOSH! The Speed-Type Armadillo vanished in a blur!

"WHERE DID IT GO?!"

BAM!

Kulastog felt something hit his side at the speed of light!

CRASH!

Kulastog flew across the forest and landed face-first into a tree.

Rei slow-clapped.

"Great start, hero."

Kulastog groaned.

"I think I saw my past life for a second."

Phase 2: "Brilliant" Strategy!

Kulastog quickly rolled to the side as the Tank-Type Armadillo stomped the ground, shaking the entire forest!

"OKAY, NEW PLAN! REI, HELP ME!"

Rei shrugged.

"Nah."

"YOU’RE USELESS!"

Kulastog sprinted away, arrows flying everywhere in panic.

One arrow accidentally hit Little Bro Armadillo.

Little Bro: "SQUEEEEEEEEEE!"

Kulastog: "Uh… was that good or bad?"

Suddenly, Little Bro’s eyes turned blood-red. 😈

Little Bro: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" (Translation: "RAGE MODE ACTIVATED!")

Kulastog: "Oh. Bad. Very bad."

WHOOSH!

Little Bro ran in circles like a maniac, destroying everything in sight!

BAM!

He crashed into Big Bro!

Big Bro: "GRUUUH?!" (Translation: "YOU LITTLE IDIOT!")

BAM!

Big Bro accidentally knocked out Middle Bro!

Middle Bro: "CHRRRK—!" (Translation: "BETRAYAL!")

Kulastog: "...Wait. They’re fighting each other???"

Rei smirked.

"Well, you’re dumb, but they’re dumber."

Phase 3: Time to End This!

Kulastog quickly aimed his bow.

"Alright, if I hit Big Bro’s weak spot, they all go down!"

He took a deep breath, focused, and—

SLIP!

OH COME ON.

His foot landed on the SAME banana peel from last episode.

THWACK!

Kulastog’s arrow flew in the wrong direction…

…BOUNCE! Off a tree.

…BOUNCE! Off a rock.

…BOUNCE! Off Rei’s head.

Rei: "OW!—WAIT, WHAT?!"

STAB!

The arrow miraculously landed in Big Bro’s weak spot.

Big Bro: "GRUUUUUUUUUHH—!"

BOOOOOOM!

The three armadillos collapsed.

Kulastog: "…"

Rei: "…"

Kulastog slowly stood up, dusted himself off, and raised a fist.

"YUP. ALL SKILL, BABY!"

Rei: "I AM LITERALLY GOING TO KILL YOU."

Level Up!

Kulastog has reached Level 20!

+5 Strength

+5 Agility

+1 Banana Peel Resistance (Hopefully.)

Aftermath

Kulastog sat down, panting.

"Okay… okay… we’re alive. Barely."

Rei sighed.

"Yeah, but your luck won’t save you forever."

Kulastog grinned.

"Maybe… but it’ll save me today!"

Suddenly, a deep growl echoed through the forest.

Rei: "…That didn’t sound like an armadillo."

Kulastog slowly turned.

A GIANT shadow loomed over them.

Red eyes glowed in the darkness.

"Oh… crap."

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