A Sinner’s Confession
The room is silent except for the faint ticking of the clock.
Tick.
Tick.
Tick.
Each second slips away like sand through his fingers.
Debasish sits at his desk, hunched over his untouched books. The pages are filled with diagrams, equations, and theories—knowledge he once dreamed of mastering. But now, they feel foreign, like relics from a past life.
His vision blurs. His breath is shallow.
45 days.
Just 45 days until NEET.
He should be studying. He should be solving questions. He should be revising.
But he can’t.
His mind is drowning.
Every mistake, every moment wasted, every lie told—they all come rushing back.
The nights he stayed up scrolling mindlessly instead of revising.
The mornings he lied to his mother—"I studied late, Ma. That’s why I woke up late."
The days he ignored his father’s silent sacrifices.
The moments he dismissed Ankita’s pain, too lost in his own failures to acknowledge hers.
His chest tightens. A lump rises in his throat.
"I should have protected them… but instead, I made them suffer."
His fingers dig into his palms. The pain is sharp, but it’s nothing compared to the agony in his heart.
His lips tremble as he whispers,
"I am a sinner."
Not just any sinner.
A thousand sins weigh on his soul.
He has failed his duty—towards himself, towards his family, towards his dreams.
"What if karma is real?"
The thought strikes him like a lightning bolt.
"What if this is all because of my past actions? What if I am meant to suffer? What if I have doomed myself?"
His mother always said, "Beta, karma is like a shadow—it never leaves us. Our past actions shape our present, just as our present shapes our future."
And what has he done in the past three years?
Wasted time.
Abandoned responsibilities.
Drowned in guilt but never acted on it.
The Bhagavad Gita’s words echo in his mind:
"कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।"
("You have the right to perform your duty, but never to the fruits of your actions.")
He has chased after results, feared failure, and run from his duty.
And now, the weight of his own karma is crushing him.
His head drops. He can’t carry this burden anymore.
Calling Out to the Divine
For the first time in months, his heart reaches out.
"My Lord… My friend… My family… My beloved…"
He has nowhere else to go.
The world won’t listen.
His family won’t understand.
His own mind is his worst enemy.
But his gods have never abandoned him.
Slowly, he closes his eyes. His lips tremble.
And then—he doesn’t ask for anything.
No prayers for marks.
No begging for success.
No desperate pleas.
Just surrender.
He remembers Krishna’s words:
"सर्वधर्मान्परित्यज्य मामेकं शरणं व्रज।"
("Abandon all varieties of dharma and simply surrender unto Me.")
With a deep breath, he lets go.
Softly, he begins to chant.
"Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare…"
"Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare…"
At first, his voice is weak.
Then, the tears start falling.
His body shakes. His chest tightens.
But he doesn’t stop.
"Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna…"
Faster.
Louder.
"Krishna Krishna Hare Hare…"
Like a dam breaking, everything spills out.
Every regret.
Every fear.
Every ounce of guilt.
The Bhagavad Gita’s wisdom floods his heart:
"योग: कर्मसु कौशलम्।"
("Yoga is skill in action.")
True karma yoga isn’t just about working hard—it’s about working without attachment to the outcome.
For so long, he has been trapped in the fear of failure.
For so long, he has sought redemption through results.
But now—he just wants to serve.
"Krishna… let me do my duty. Let me act without fear. Let me not run anymore."
His head bows lower. His tears soak the desk.
"Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare…"
And then… darkness.
A Deep Sleep
Debasish’s exhausted body gives in.
His head drops onto his arms.
His breathing slows.
For the first time in months, his restless mind falls silent.
No guilt.
No fear.
No self-hatred.
Just silence.
And his last thought before sleep—
"Krishna… stay with me."
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