Chapter 8: The Breaking Point again

10:00 AM – A Father’s Hidden Struggles

Rajeev finally reaches home after a grueling night shift. The sun is already high, its light pouring through the open windows, but all he feels is an unbearable weight pressing down on him. His body aches with exhaustion, his head throbs from lack of sleep, and his stomach feels hollow.

As he steps inside, Meera glances up from the dining table. She’s wearing her faded maroon saree, the one she always chooses on her bad days. A mild frown creases her forehead as she takes in his pale face and the dark circles under his eyes.

"Did you take your insulin today?" she asks, her voice gentle but firm.

Rajeev forces a smile, the same one he’s perfected over the years.

"Of course," he lies.

Meera doesn’t press further, but he can tell she doesn’t believe him. Maybe she’s too tired to argue. Maybe she’s simply given up on expecting honesty.

He watches as she slowly gets up to clear the table, her movements sluggish, her breathing uneven. He should help her. He should ask how she’s feeling.

Instead, he walks into the dimly lit kitchen. He opens the fridge, pulls out his insulin pen, and rolls up his sleeve. The routine is second nature by now—needle in, exhale, survive.

But for how long?

His fingers tremble as he puts the pen away. The doctor had warned him: You need proper rest. You need to manage your stress.

Rajeev exhales sharply. Rest? In this life? He lets out a dry chuckle.

10:30 AM – Debasish’s Mind in Chaos

At his hostel, Debasish stares at his NEET syllabus, the pages filled with complex diagrams, equations, and revision schedules. He traces the words with his fingers, but they blur before his eyes.

Two months left.

He should be revising.

He should be solving papers.

He should be making his parents proud.

Instead, his phone sits beside him, glowing softly. The temptation is suffocating.

"Just five minutes."

His brain screams at him to stop. Don’t do it. You’ll regret it.

His finger hovers over YouTube.

Then, as if possessed, he taps the screen.

The war inside him? It’s already lost.

12:00 PM – A Cycle of Regret

Two hours pass in the blink of an eye.

His phone battery is at 12%, but his guilt is at a hundred.

His chest tightens. His breathing turns shallow. He can feel the shame creeping up his spine, wrapping around his throat like an iron grip.

You did it again.

His mother is sick.

His father is sacrificing everything.

Ankita gave up her dreams.

And he? He wasted two more hours.

He throws the phone onto his bed with a frustrated grunt and grips his hair. His hands dig into his scalp, as if trying to claw out the version of himself that keeps failing.

"Why?" he whispers. "Why can’t I stop?"

A notification pops up on the screen.

"Daily NEET Question – Solve Now!"

He stares at it, his heart hammering against his ribs.

A part of him wants to tap it. Wants to convince himself that this will be the turning point. That this one question will lead to another, and then another, until he is finally back on track.

But another part of him—the part drowning in exhaustion, guilt, and self-hatred—knows the truth.

This isn’t the first time he’s had this moment.

And it won’t be the last.

12:05 PM – A Sister’s Instinct

His phone vibrates.

Ankita.

He hesitates before answering.

"You okay?" she asks.

"Yeah."

A pause.

"Liar."

His throat tightens. He doesn’t reply. What’s the point? She already knows.

Another message pops up.

"I know you’re struggling. But you still have time. Please… don’t do what I did."

His fingers tremble over the keyboard. He wants to type something—I’m fine. Don’t worry. I’ll be okay.

But the truth is, he doesn’t know if he will be.

His thumb hovers over the screen, but no words come.

Because deep down, he doesn’t know if he can change.

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