Chapter 2: The Illusion of Control

6:00 AM – A New Beginning?

The alarm rings. Debasish jolts awake.

Regret from last night still clings to him like a weight. He wasted another evening. He should have solved physics questions. Revised organic chemistry. Done anything but scroll mindlessly.

"Not today." He gets up. Washes his face. Opens his book. Today will be different.

He writes a study plan for the day—10 hours of study, no distractions. He’ll prove to himself that he can control his urges. He’ll prove to his mother that he’s not a failure.

At 6:30 AM, he starts physics. He’s focused. He’s in control.

9:00 AM – The First Crack

He’s solving a tough rotational motion problem when his phone vibrates. A message from a friend:

"Bro, answer key is out. How much did you get?"

His stomach tightens. Yesterday’s test.

"Just five minutes," he tells himself.

He checks the answer key. Mistake. Mistake. Mistake. His score? Worse than expected.

A thought creeps in—"I need a break."

He opens YouTube. The first video is actually useful: "NEET Physics Trick – Must Watch!" He taps on it.

9:45 AM – Lost Again

Somewhere between the second trick video and a motivational reel, he drifts.

His feed is full of toppers giving "study tips." A guy saying, "If you want a seat, you need to suffer!" A girl boasting, "I studied 14 hours a day. No excuses."

His stomach churns. He’s already behind them.

He closes YouTube. But his fingers, almost by instinct, tap Instagram.

"Just five minutes."

11:00 AM – The Fall

When he looks at the clock again, it’s 11:00 AM.

"No… this can’t be happening again."

His books are still open. His study plan untouched. Four hours gone.

Panic sets in. How does time slip away so fast?

He forces himself back to studying. But the anxiety is louder than his focus now. His mind keeps screaming:

"You’re a failure."

"You wasted another morning."

"You’ll never catch up."

3:00 PM – The Mock Test Nightmare

NeuroSpark Elite is known for its brutal mock tests. Today’s test is on Physics and Chemistry.

He enters the exam hall, but his mind is a battlefield. He tries to focus, but…

The questions feel harder than usual.

The clock moves faster than his brain.

The other students look calm, solving with ease.

"Why am I so slow?"

By the time the paper ends, he knows it’s a disaster. His hands are cold. His breath is shallow.

Results come out an hour later. His score? Worst one yet.

His vision blurs. His chest tightens. He can already hear his mother’s voice: "How was the test, beta?"

He can already picture her disappointment.

6:00 PM – The Escape

His books sit open. But he can’t look at them. Looking means facing failure.

He picks up his phone.

"I need to escape."

He opens Instagram. The first reel plays. Then the second. The third.

Each scroll numbs the pain a little more.

He ignores the sinking feeling in his chest. The voice in his head screaming at him to stop.

Because stopping means facing reality.

And reality hurts too much.

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