Crush: As a child 2

I remember when I was with my childhood friends and cousins, there was this one girl who I get shy of every time I see her. She was cute, pale skin, chinita eyes and when she smiles she has these dimples that really makes my heart beat fast with happiness. I didn’t know that I was attracted to girls then, thinking about it now, makes it more obvious and real that I am part of the LGBTQ community. Well, gays in the 1980’s are not that very popular then but maybe I just didn’t know they exist until now that I’m in my forties. Hmmm…..strange but amazing! The feeling is so weird but beautiful at the same time, because I get to observe and follow people on instagram or twitter which is X now, with full attention and admiration.

I remember in the elementary school I was enrolled into, my brothers and I with our classmates who live nearby us, would walk maybe a mile or two from our house to school grounds. It was the best time I felt with my friends like there’s nothing more exciting than spending those tiny moments breathing the fresh air with those trees around us and when we are in school, our teachers are the best, kindest and heartwarming as ever. Those were the good old days when life is simple, uncomplicated and humble. My parents decided to live in Malabon for six years, so I spent my elementary years there and I, not knowing who I would become, still has crushes and another one with a girl living just next door. Our neighbor who is an Aglipay and sings beautifully on the shower which I always listen to when I get to stand and watch our little store in front of the gate. After some of my childhood friends along with my girl crush left the city, I got lonely and well got busy with school and all so I didn’t know what I should have done but continue with SALC and our Sunday Legion of Mary sessions, happily, regularly. I was a good but stubborn girl then and now. Hihi!

This tall and tan girl who has dimples and is good in a game called “garter”, which is a very athletic one where you jump on the garter held by two people on each sides then a person will jump over it until it reaches the height up to the head. I wasn’t that good playing it, I just wanted to join because I liked to see my crush, haha. And when they left the subdivision, which is a tiny corner where our four door, two floor apartment stood. In front, was my girl crush’s house, little rooms like a studio type apartments. My family lived there for six years with the floods but good and caring neighbors in the ‘iskinita’.

Warf, warf!!!, our dog called Tiger guards the store. One time, a little kid tried to snatch some candies off the table of the store where the goodies are, when Tiger jumped on him to stop his mischief. The kid suffered bite marks on the cheek and shoulder that our neighbors decided to talk to my father on what to do with the dog who is considered a menace. But is Tiger really the true menace? Well, Tiger was given to the men who wanted him and this was the first time I saw how they brutally hit him with a stick in the head and killed him. Then he was placed in a sack and carried him inside the smaller iskinita after ours and never saw our poor dog again. I never felt more scared in my life but I didn’t understand then that killing animals is bad. Though I felt that it is unacceptable but people were doing it so it’s okay. Not until now that animal rights are upheld and that torturing or killing them are a law and that the culprits can be penalized through money and imprisonment. It is a good idea and the law is religiously implemented today.

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