As a child

I wonder what happened to her and my books underground. Maybe she didn’t really threw them away but planted them and now after many years my writings grew and became real live stories that others appreciate and learn from today. Wakata! Sugoi! It is then wonderful!

Haaa…..I even wondered how I understand foreigners like Spanish, Italian, Russian or French, etc. people when they talk to me or message me, and now I know why. God has planned for everything all along. What I was praying for and aiming to achieve in the future was already been molding me with all the trials that I have experienced and still experiencing until now, so I can be really prepared when the time comes that I need to be out there in the world to tell, read my stories to those who need them. Who am I? I always ask myself that too, that if you or others felt the same, I felt that I needed to belong or become someone important too in this era or in my lifetime. I am a very shy person and don’t usually talk to anyone unless I need to. I know I feel safe and free when I sing and act on stage. Why my parents sent my siblings and I to a sort of school named SALC, a learning center where we are taught by P.E.T.A., the country’s renowned theater to act, sing and dance for church audiences. We even joined concert after concerts to sing and play little actors and actresses on stage. It was definitely fun and exciting all together.

I remember when I was with my childhood friends and cousins, there was this one girl who I get shy of every time I see her. She was cute, pale skin, chinita eyes and when she smiles she has these dimples that really makes my heart beat fast with happiness. I didn’t know that I was attracted to girls then, thinking about it now, makes it more obvious and real that I am part of the LGBTQ community. Well, gays in the 1980’s are not that very popular then but maybe I just didn’t know they exist until now that I’m in my forties. Hmmm…..strange but amazing! The feeling is so weird but beautiful at the same time, because I get to observe and follow people on instagram or twitter which is X now, with full attention and admiration.

I remember in the elementary school I was enrolled into, my brothers and I with our classmates who live nearby us, would walk maybe a mile or two from our house to school grounds. It was the best time I felt with my friends like there’s nothing more exciting than spending those tiny moments breathing the fresh air with those trees around us and when we are in school, our teachers are the best, kindest and heartwarming as ever. Those were the good old days when life is simple, uncomplicated and humble. My parents decided to live in Malabon for six years, so I spent my elementary years there and I, not knowing who I would become, still has crushes and another one with a girl living just next door. Our neighbor who is an Aglipay and sings beautifully on the shower which I always listen to when I get to stand and watch our little store in front of the gate. After some of my childhood friends along with my girl crush left the city, I got lonely and well got busy with school and all so I didn’t know what I should have done but continue with SALC and our Sunday Legion of Mary sessions, happily, regularly. I was a good but stubborn girl then and now. Hihi!

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