Chapter 1: Mantra

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains mention of suicide and emotional distress. Please don't continue if the material is triggering for you.

Staring at the mirror with tired eyes. Water dripping down from the face of a familiar young man. Exhaustion could be seen right through the man's eyes. Kim Jisoo is looking at his 21 year old self. Anyone would be happy to be this young again, except for Kim Jisoo. Because this is not him.

"My name is Kim Jisoo, I'm 34 years old. My mother and father are Kim So-e and Kim Sangchul. I have a brother named..." He can't remember. He's slowly forgetting. How could he forget! Rushing out of the bathroom, he immediately bent down beside the bed and got the box underneath it. Inside the box, there were diaries and sketches. He rummaged through the sketchbook and found the face of his younger brother. Kim Jian, his brother. With almost similar features but not quiet. Feeling resentful and relief, Jisoo's tears streamed down his face. Jisoo started his mantra again. "My name is Kim Jisoo, I'm 34 years old. My mother and father are Kim So-e and Kim Sangchul. I have a brother named Kim Jian." Jisoo was smiling with tears streaming down his face.

3 years ago was the start of Jisoo's nightmare. One day, he just woke up and was transferred to another reality. He doesn't know how it happened or what caused this shift in reality. He only knows one thing, the luck that he had with his previous reality was opposite to the Jisoo in this one. With the misfortunes that followed this reality's Jisoo, he decided to kill himself. And for whatever reason the world has, he was placed in this world's Kim Jisoo.

It started small, like forgetting his favorite cartoon from his prepubescent years. Then proceeded to the small details during his childhood. After realizing that he was forgetting things from his real world, Jisoo started to write things down, sketching things he could still remember. After a while, even forgetting where he used to live. Every small and important detail he started to write down in case he actually forgets. This slowly chips away from his sanity. Like an old paint in the wall slowly chipping due to the passage of time. He even started to question himself. Was he actually from an alternate reality? BUT HE KNOWS. He knows that he doesn't belong here. And whatever small willpower he had left after suddenly coming to this reality, he wrote and draw everything down. To keep him grounded to the fact that he doesn't belong here.

Crumpled on the floor while hugging all the contents of the box, Kim Jisoo wailed like a child. "Mom.. I miss you... Dad... I'm not strong enough.. Please get me out... Please.. Please..." Resenting himself for not acting like an adult, resenting the world for placing him here. Jisoo just continued to sob quietly and pitifully on the floor. Asking for his parents, his actual parents to come and take him away from this nightmare that became his reality.

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