Kaoru #2

We guided Hikaru to my car, Makoto carrying a bag which contained all of the things he wanted to bring with him. Apparently, Hikaru had a number of things he needed on an everyday basis. Once we got to my house, me and Makoto set up the rooms. I gave Hikaru the one with the soft mattress and a couch and TV. Makoto came in with his bag and set it beside the bed.

“Can you help me with the sheets?” I asked him. He nodded and came over to help me. We put the sheet on, and then Shinva came in.

“Hikaru says that he packed a special blankie.” he mocked. We all laughed knowing this was Hikaru’s way of saying thank you. And we liked a bit of a laugh. But Shinva wasn't kidding. It was just a really warm, soft blanket that I would love to have. Hikaru is obsessed with textures. If the texture is weird, he won't eat it, touch it, or talk to it. I bet he wont talk to grandmas because they’re wrinkly. I doubt that Hikaru, the sweet, adorable elephant that I know, would probably never say something like that. Did I just call him adorable? I thought. Nah, I think he just looks cute, like in a… cute way.  I wave off the thought, continuing to lay the sheets on the bed. After we were done, Makoto went to get something, and I opened up Hikaru’s bag. Two books. One is a photo album. The other is… a diary? When I open it up, two pictures fall out. One of them is torn in half. There were two people in the picture, and it looks as though Hikaru had ripped the two apart. One of the guys, He was muscular, and was shirtless and his hands were outstretched. Looking at the other picture, I notice with a gasp the other person is Hikaru. I put the two halves together, and it creates a picture of Hikaru and the muscular guy…

Kissing.

I frantically looked at the other picture, and saw that it's me. I have a goofy smile on my face, and I'm standing on a hill. I remember me and Hikaru took that a while ago, when it was just us. We had gone to the fair, and watched a movie. The other three were doing recording, and we were skipping down the road, when Hikaru saw the hill, he screwed up his face, then walked toward it. We took a picture, and I guess he printed one. I heard footsteps, so I stuffed the pictures in the diary, and threw everything back into the bag. Hikaru came in, saw me kneeling by the bag, and did something super unexpected. He punched me, not very hard, but hard enough for it to hurt. He marched over to his bag, seeing it open, grabbing his diary, turning away from me, and crying. Yukio heard, came in, but was quickly pulled back violently by Shinva, and both of us were pushed out of the room. Makoto had heard too, but he was shut out too. Shinva obviously knew a lot about Hikaru, more than any of us. Shinva exited the room, debated about something, and then looked at us.

“Hikaru… he has uncontrollable very severe anger issues. Hence the name, he has no choice but to be infuriated at the smallest thing. He is especially triggered when people find out about his secrets… Shinva glared at me, it felt like his eyes were piercing my soul. Makoto looked at me expectantly.

“I may or may not have gone through his stuff, and found out about one of his very shocking secrets. He’s-” I was cut off by Shinva slapping me.

“You will NOT tell them. You have done quite enough damage for a lifetime, don't you think?” Everybody was quite shocked. Shinva had never yelled at any of us. Or seemed that angry. Maybe grumpy, maybe whiny, complaining, but NEVER angry. She turned her back to us, going back into his room. I kept going over what I've found in my mind.

He’s gay.

He’s gay

He’s gay

He’s gay, he’s gay and he has a picture of me. He got mad when I looked at it. He punched me, he keeps secrets, he wants to tell me something, WHAT IS IT?

No matter how hard I tried to get it out of my mind, I also felt guilty, because I looked through his stuff, something I knew I shouldn't have done, but I did it anyway. Of course, I had no idea I would get caught, punched, or slapped, twice when I did it. If somebody told me that I would, I probably would have never looked in there. I saw a few other things, like some kind of night light, and his laptop, plus his phone. I wanted to look through all his stuff, when Shinva came out and I heard Hikaru laughing.

“Oh, my gosh. Arianna! Are you sure you don't want to pursue stand-up comedy?” He asked Arianna. It was a one sided conversation, so I think he was calling her.

“So…”

“What? How do you know EVERY time that it's about Kaoru?”

“Okay, i'll admit, I do talk about him a lot.”

“What I wanted to tell you was… he went through my bag, and found my diary.”

“Did too! But that's not the worst part! I punched him, and now i feel bad, and Shinva told me I should get medication, but what does she know about it, does she know how it feels?”

“Allright, I gotta go. Almost time for late night Netflix binging.”

“Bye.” he hung up on Arinna, but before I could go away from the door, I was hit by another slap from Shinva.

My face stung, I had an ice bag on my jaw, hanging out at my house. My mom was calling people’s mothers, I said I had gotten into a fight. I felt guilty about telling her lies, but come on, she’s my MOM. i can't really look to her for support.

I tried to put all the pieces of the puzzle, but I felt like I was missing a piece. Why are Shinva and Hikaru close? Why is he scared to ask me a certain question? Why was he calling Arianna? Who is Arianna? Why does he have a picture of me? Who was that other guy? Why does he talk about me a lot? And why in the HECK would I think he’s cute? I almost screamed in confusion, when my phone rang. Hikaru was on the screen. I pressed the green button to accept. His voice sounded a bit altered to when I last heard him.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for confusing you. I’m sorry for punching you, i'm sorry you got slapped, im sorry…” his voice was breaking a little. I stayed silent, urging him to continue.

“I’m sorry, for not telling you before this…” his next words, shocking, terrible, wonderful, stressful, mysterious, questioning, declaring, unprideful and weird. I could go on, but to list the things he had just said, it might take a year. I would have fainted of shock, but my confusion kept me from it.

He likes me…

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