Hatred

It was almost 5 pm when she regained her lost senses. The ongoing conversation woke her up. From the voices she identified them-it was her brother and cousins.

She had lot of cousins. Her father had three brothers and three sisters. Only the eldest sister had no child and the youngest brother only one child. So the rest had two children each. She had a total of 9 cousins excluding her and her brother. So the family was quite large.

When she woke up she could make out the six voices. She knew that her eldest cousin and three more were not there for they were going to come later. She pretended to sleep and heard the ongoing conversation.

She could easily take part in it but did not like to talk with them. Strangely her cousins always avoided her except for occasional intrusion to insult her. But they even stopped that interaction after she got into college. In her family it was thought to be glamorous to take science stream in college. And most of her cousins took science stream. Her brother also looked forward in pursuing science stream. So they only paid attention to him.

Her brother had also created hatred in his mind against her. He hated her for lowering his head by taking arts. He hated her for her habits, for likings and for being her. He himself liked to be superficial and live like that. But she was different from him. She was not superficial. She never cared about such things. She only did what she liked. This made him hate her more. Both of them had different viewpoints. He was more materialistic and cared what the world would think of him whereas she was more spiritual and abstained herself from the so called world order. So she too distanced herself from him but there was no hatred in her heart.

She kept on the pretence and listened. They were discussing career options. Each one told of their respective career paths and discussed. She heard carefully judging everyone. The discussion was going on and her brother spoke last. He discussed his aim and he planned on pursuing it. Suddenly one of her cousins spoke out and asked about her career path. This question startled her. She thought “Why me, you were never interested in me?” She decided to hear more. That cousin spoke again showing concern “Actually I’m worried about her future, she has taken literature, so I want know what her plans for the future are?” She finishes and her brother starts to laugh. Then he speaks still laughing.

“She, her.....hahahaha....She and plans. O, Please. She’s a good for nothing. She has no plans for her future. A brainless and worthless person like her will not be able to anything in her life. Let me tell you something, I already talked to dad and told him my suggestion to marry her off. You know he agreed. Well she has to marry one day so why risk it. I don’t want a burden on my shoulder...”

At that moment her mother came in and all went silent.

She directly went to her and called “Maria, wake up, come and meet you first uncle”. She got up that moment. She had a scary expression. Her mother was startled and burst out “If you were awake why did you not get up earlier?” She answered angrily staring at them “What’s the use of waking up I’m worthless anyway” She got off the bed and rushed out in anger. That instance she took her bag, wore her shoes and called out to her mother. Her mother was following her but was called off to do something else. She left shouting and was about to leave. Her eldest cousin saw her and enquired “What, are you leaving so early? Come on spend the night here.” She answered him while opening the door “Got to do something urgent tomorrow, tell mom I’m leaving” and left.

When she came she took a large breathe as if she were suffocating in there. She looked out, the sun had hidden behind the clouds. The black clouds were dark and fearful yet had beauty in them. The wind blew softly with occasional gusts. The dusts on the road were ready to create small whirls. She liked the weather and thought looking at sky “Thanks for crying on my behalf”

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