Consumed by jealousy, Shin made a desperate, agonizing choice. He chose Kenji. He rationalized it, telling himself it was the only way to protect Xander, to shield him from further hurt. Protect him…from what? From me? The thought twisted in his gut. He clung to the hope that Kenji would eventually tire of the charade, that Xander would see Kenji's true nature. And then…then I’ll be there. I’ll pick up the pieces. He thought, naively, that everything would be fine. It has to be.
Kenji, as promised (and as expected), broke up with Xander shortly after. The breakup was swift, brutal, and left Xander heartbroken. Shin, despite his agreement with Kenji, couldn't bring himself to be with him. The thought of touching Kenji, of being intimate with him, filled him with disgust. He touched Xander…that’s unforgivable. His heart belonged to Xander, even if he’d made a pact with the devil himself to keep it that way.
He began secretly stalking Xander, a silent, watchful presence in the shadows. He told himself he was just checking on him, making sure he was okay. He needs me…he doesn’t know it yet. But it was more than that. It was a desperate need to be close to Xander, even if it was just from a distance. He'd watch him from across the street, in the library, even at the park, observing his every move, analyzing his every expression. Who is he talking to? What are they saying? Kenji was unaware of Shin’s surveillance. He doesn’t need to know.
He saw Xander’s heartbreak, the way his smile faded, the way his laughter became forced. He saw him withdraw from his friends, spending more time alone. He’s hurting…I can fix it…I can make it better. The guilt gnawed at Shin. He wanted to reach out, to comfort Xander, to tell him everything. But he was trapped by his own choices, bound by his agreement with Kenji. Kenji…he’ll pay for this.
One night, Shin saw Xander at a bar with Ethan and Caleb. Xander was drinking heavily, his eyes filled with a deep sadness. Ethan and Caleb tried to cheer him up, but their efforts were clearly in vain. They left for a moment, and some other guys approached Xander. They started flirting with him, buying him drinks. Xander, in his vulnerable state, seemed to be going along with it, but Shin could see the emptiness in his eyes. They’re taking advantage of him…he doesn’t really want this.
A wave of protectiveness, fierce and possessive, washed over Shin. He’s mine…they can’t touch him. He wanted to go to Xander, to pull him away from those guys, to tell them to leave him alone. I’m his boyfriend now…get out from here…he’s mine. He tried to stop himself. He knew that he made his choice. He'd chosen Kenji. He knew he shouldn't be near Xander. But I have to…I have to protect him…from them…from himself…
He watched, his fists clenched, his jaw tight. He imagined himself stepping in, claiming Xander, pushing those other guys away. He imagined Xander turning to him, relief flooding his eyes. He needs me…he always will.
He knew he couldn't go to Xander. Not yet. He had to wait. He had to be patient. He had to…deal with Kenji first. Kenji…he’s the reason for all of this…he’s the one who’s hurting Xander…he’s the one who needs to be punished. A dark smile crept across Shin’s face. Kenji…his time is coming.
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