Chapter 6: The Distance

Shin plastered a smile on his face, the kind of easygoing grin he’d perfected over the years. He told himself he was fine. Xander hadn't told him who he was seeing, but it was okay. It was just a little secret, something Xander wasn't ready to share yet. Friendly jealousy, that’s all it was. He’d felt a pang, sure, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. He was Shin, after all. Cool, collected, always in control.

He saw Xander across the courtyard, laughing with Ethan and Caleb. They looked like they were having fun, their easy camaraderie a familiar sight. Shin’s smile faltered for a moment, a flicker of something darker crossing his features. He wanted to walk over, to join them, to reclaim his place at Xander’s side. But he hesitated. Something felt different. A subtle shift in the atmosphere, a distance he couldn't quite place.

He started to walk towards them, telling himself he was just going to say hi, when Kenji clapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, Shin! Basketball practice starts in five. Coach is gonna kill us if we’re late.”

Shin forced another smile. “Right, yeah. Practice.” He glanced back at Xander, who was still laughing with his friends, seemingly oblivious to Shin’s presence. He nodded to Kenji, “Let’s go then.”

As they walked towards the gym, Shin couldn’t shake the feeling that he was being left behind. He tried to focus on Kenji’s chatter about the upcoming game, but his mind kept drifting back to Xander. He replayed their conversation from the previous morning, Xander’s hesitant voice, his averted gaze. “It’s complicated.” The words echoed in his head, a constant reminder of the secret Xander was keeping.

Later that day, Shin found himself near the library, hoping to run into Xander. He saw him at their usual table, but he wasn't alone. He was with him. Or at least, Shin assumed it was him. The guy was tall, with sandy blonde hair and a quiet demeanor. He’d seen him around campus, but he didn’t know his name.

Shin’s stomach clenched. He wanted to walk over, to introduce himself, to assess the competition. But something held him back. He watched them from a distance, his eyes narrowed, his expression unreadable. They were talking quietly, leaning close, their faces illuminated by the soft glow of the library lamps. They looked… comfortable. Too comfortable.

He turned away, a bitter taste rising in his throat. He told himself it didn’t matter. He told himself he was being ridiculous. But the image of Xander and the other guy, their heads close together, their laughter soft and intimate, burned in his mind.

He saw Xander a few more times that week, in the hallways, in the cafeteria, always surrounded by his friends. Shin tried to act normal, tried to engage in their usual banter, but Xander was different. He was polite, friendly even, but there was a distance in his eyes, a guardedness that hadn’t been there before. He was avoiding Shin’s gaze, keeping their conversations brief, almost perfunctory.

Shin tried to brush it off, telling himself it was all in his head. But the feeling of unease persisted, a constant, nagging reminder that something had changed. Xander was slipping away, and Shin didn’t know how to stop it. He was playing it cool, acting like everything was fine, but inside, he was slowly unraveling. The friendly jealousy he’d tried to convince himself he was feeling was morphing into something darker, something more possessive. And he knew, deep down, that he wouldn’t be able to keep up the charade for much longer.

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