How a Ladle Became the Ghost of Anniversaries

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**The Temple of Eternal Regrets**

The villagers of Muffin Hollow spoke of the temple in hushed tones: *“Beware the Weeping Widow’s Wail!”* *“The statues drink blood!”* *“It’s haunted by a spirit who… *really* hates bad husbands!”* Master Long Jian, ever the skeptic (and ever the fool), declared it the *perfect* hideout. *“Ghosts aren’t real,”* he scoffed, kicking open the moss-coated doors. *“Unless Mei Ling learned necromancy. Which… actually, seems plausible.”*

Inside, shadows slithered like eels. Cobwebs draped the statues of ancient warriors, their stone eyes following Long Jian as he tripped over a cracked urn. *“Just wind,”* he muttered. *“Or… *vengeful wind*?”*

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**The “Supernatural” Spectacle Begins**

- **The Weeping Widow’s Wail**: A high-pitched shriek echoed. Long Jian drew his sword, only to realize it was Mei Ling’s rusty teakettle, rigged to a pulley. *“Classic Mei Ling,”* he groaned.

- **Bleeding Statues**: Red liquid oozed from a statue’s eyes. Long Jian tasted it. *“Chili oil?! MY EYES! MY EYES!”*

- **Floating Ladle**: Her prized weapon hovered menacingly, suspended by fishing line. *“I’M SORRY I FORGOT THE ANNIVERSARY!”* he screamed at it. The ladle bonked him on the head.

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**The Ghostly Gimmicks**

Mei Ling, hidden in a secret alcove, pulled levers like a deranged puppeteer:

- **Lever 1**: A bucket of crickets dumped onto Long Jian’s head (*“The Song of a Thousand Regrets!”*).

- **Lever 2**: A tapestry of their wedding day unfurled, charred at the edges (*“Remember THIS?!”*).

- **Lever 3**: A life-sized Long Jian doll swung from the rafters, labeled *“World’s Worst Husband.”*

**“This is *psychological warfare*!”** Long Jian yelled, stabbing the doll. It exploded into feathers, revealing a note: *“You’re next. —The Widow.”*

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**The Great Ghost Battle**

Convinced the temple housed a *real* spirit (and not just his wife’s pettiness), Long Jian unleashed the *Nine Heavenly Strikes* on a curtain, shredding it to confetti. Mei Ling, now dressed as the **Ghost Bride of Eternal Nagging**, floated down on a wire, her white robes billowing.

**“RETURN TO ME, LONG JIAN,”** she boomed in a distorted voice, **“OR SUFFER *CURTAIN* CONSEQUENCES.”**

**“Never!”** He hurled a statue’s head… which turned out to be a painted cabbage.

**“MY CABBAGES!”** wailed a hidden villager (Mei Ling had outsourced prop work).

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**The Ladle Ex Machina**

Cornered, Long Jian resorted to flattery: **“Oh great spirit! Your wrath is… *very* justified! How can I atone?”**

The Ghost Bride ripped off her veil. **“HOW ABOUT *NOT HIDING IN A TEMPLE*?!”** Mei Ling barked, clanging her ladle against a gong for dramatic effect. **“You’re lucky I didn’t summon your ancestors!”**

As if on cue, a trapdoor opened, dumping Long Jian into a cellar full of vengeful, squeaking rats. **“ARE THESE ANCESTORS?!”** he yelped.

**“No,”** Mei Ling said, peering down. **“But they *do* hate anniversaries.”**

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**: The Temple’s New Curse**

Long Jian fled, leaving his sword embedded in a tofu block (Mei Ling’s final trick). The villagers, thrilled with the show, turned the temple into a tourist attraction: *“Haunted by Love! 5 Coins to See the Cursed Ladle!”*

Mei Ling, now the **Head Priestess of Petty Vengeance**, sold souvenir bells engraved with *“I Survived the Iron Phoenix.”*

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