Chapter 2: Maelstrom

TRIGGER WARNING!:vomiting, pretty much tw for the entire chapter.

Maelstrom – A powerful whirlpool or a turbulent situation of confusion and disorder.

After that encounter, I bought my paint and went straight home. But I couldn't stop...thinking about her.

I remember her face. Her soft green eyes. Her blonde hair—dirty, ashy, like it hadn't seen water in days. Her skin—my god, her skin. Pale, almost translucent, as if light passed through her rather than touched her.

Instead of going back to my canvas to finish my painting, I sit on the floor in front of my door and stare down at the carpet. I can't get her out of my mind. I can't.

I lift my head—and flinch.

She's kneeling in front of me. Her green eyes pierce into mine, unblinking, like a predator's.

"Are you okay?" she asks, her voice soft, almost kind.

What the fuck?

It looks like her. It sounds like her. But something's wrong. Her figure is thin, wispy, like smoke clinging to a shape. She's not entirely there. Ghostly.

I'm hallucinating again.

But despite knowing that, I speak to her.

"H-how did you get in here? Who are you?" I stammer, each word trembling in my throat.

"Who I am isn't important, baby," she whispers.

Her words wrap around me, sickly sweet, dripping with something I can't name. My face flushes as I feel her presence lean closer. Her breath brushes against my skin, warm and unnervingly real. Her hand reaches for mine, her touch electric—almost burning—and then I blink.

She's gone.

Silence presses in around me.

It takes me a minute to breathe, to remind myself I'm alone. My arms reach out in front of me, shaking.

Oh god. Oh no.

I haven't hallucinated in months. What the fuck is happening?

That girl—she wasn't human. The way her eyes locked onto mine at the store. Her figure, almost too deliberate, too perfect. And that feeling—like she wasn't just opposite of human but something far worse.

I go numb. My hands claw into my hair, pulling, tearing, trying to ground myself. My vision blurs as tears well up, spilling down my cheeks.

I feel disgusting.

CW!

TW: VOMITING

A girl I barely met—a stranger I only exchanged a glance with at Home Depot—and she's taken over my mind. Polluted it. I feel nasty. Foul. Like something crawling under my skin, something rotten inside me.

My stomach churns violently. I stumble to my feet, rushing to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before I vomit.

It doesn't stop.

The contents of my stomach spill out in heaving waves, burning my throat, my insides twisting and spasming as if they're being pulled out of me. Twenty seconds pass. Thirty. My body convulses, and for a horrifying moment, it feels like my organs might follow.

When it's finally over, I collapse against the wall, panting, shivering. My throat burns, my head spins.

What's happening to me?

The sequence of events doesn't make sense. She's just a girl. Nobody special. I'm just tired. I haven't eaten. I'm okay.

I repeat these lies to myself as I slowly clean up the mess. My hands are trembling so badly I can barely hold the cloth.

I undress and step into the shower, turning the water as hot as it will go. It stings, but I don't care. I just stand there, staring up at the ceiling, letting the water scald my skin.

I'm just tired.

I haven't eaten.

I'm okay.

I say it over and over in my head, a broken mantra.

I lose track of time. Hours pass, maybe more. I wash myself a few times, scrubbing my skin raw, but I can't leave. The water pelts me, whispering in my ears, drowning out my thoughts.

When I finally turn off the shower, my limbs feel heavy, foreign. I step out, dripping, not bothering with a towel or clothes. My body feels cold, but I don't care. I shuffle down the hall to my bedroom and catch my reflection in the mirror.

For a moment, I don't recognize myself.

My arms are thin, skeletal, with shadows cast in the hollows of my skin. My torso—bony, with only the faintest softness at my stomach. My chest, my thighs, my legs—I trace my hands over them, trying to feel connected, but it's like I'm touching someone else.

I bend forward, staring harder at the person in the mirror. My face is pale, my eyes hollow, dark circles smudged underneath. I'm a stranger.

I pull on a sweater and sweatpants and wander back into the living room. My paintings sit in silence, half-finished, staring at me with their accusing emptiness.

Then I hear it.

A loud knock at the door.

It echoes through the room, sharp and deliberate.

I freeze. My eyes lock on the door like it's foreign, like it's something alive. My heart pounds in my ears, drowning out everything else.

And I just stand there, staring.

"Get it together, Seraphine." i say to myself.

i reach over and open the door, facing it.

My heart sinks into my stomach once i see what's on the other side of me.

"Hey! um..thought i'd find you here. You're that woman i bumped into at the store."

It's that girl. the one that stared at me for so long.

I feel a sense of impending doom lay itself on me. But, a warmth at the same time. Like she's giving me two choices on how to feel. I inhale, shooing my thoughts away.

There's a silence, and i peer into her eyes the way she did to me. I see her shrug backwards, and i stop.

"I'm sorry. Yes, that's me. How did you find me first of all. And second of all, who are you?" i say. my tone firm but not at all harsh.

"I went around town asking for you, people knew you from your appearance i guess." she looks me in my eyes as she speaks.

"My name is elysia, and i came here to....apologize to you."

i raised my brow, looking at her genuinely puzzled. My expression grew warmer, the events of literally not even 10 minutes ago removing themselves from my memory.

I step aside, letting her know she's welcome inside. she walks in smiling and i close the door behind her.

"What for?" i ask.

Elysia turns to me. i almost didn't notice the entire basket of baked goods in her hand.

"For...the way i looked at you."

she stares at me again while she talks. looking me in my eyes instead of looking at other things while talking to me.

As she starts to explain, I take a seat on my couch and she moves in front of me, standing directly in front of me. i lean back, manspreading and looking at her. i see how disgusted she is at my posture and manners, but i just smile. I look her up and down, eyeing her every feature. She reminds of a forest i've seen before. i've painted it. She's wearing a short white dress with spots of pink plaid, and cute white heels that are thick and short. Her hands are gloves with long silk white fabric that brings out a glow in her skin. She talks and talks, but im no where near listening. i Just admire her for all that she is, appearance wise as least.

"Fix yourself."

the words surprise me and i flinch, my eyes darting back up to hers.

"excuse me?" i snap, standing up and towering over her.

"I came here trying to apologize and you're eyeing me like a horny teenage boy!! Sit upright and look me in my eyes when i talk to you! I know we've just barely met but lord, have some decency!" she snaps back, clearly irritated. Her hands clutch the basket hard, her face turning a light pink.

what a cutie.

as adorable as she is, i comply. I sit back down on the couch, sitting up and looking her in her eyes. Almost longingly.

she blushes, and it catches me off guard but i don't dare say a word.

she sighs and looks away from me.

"as i was saying, ahem, im sorry for....how awkward i was. The way i peered at you as if you were a foreign object, something that i've never laid eyes upon. Which you aren't, but, you know what i mean. Uhm....to be honest with you, i think you're....very attractive. So i just...stared. instead of just telling you. i don't know why i looked at you the way i did, i just...wanted to look, i suppose. so therefore, my dearest apologies for my indecency and lack of manners, especially in public. I brought you a gift, just in case my verbal apology didn't do much."

I heard every word, every slight change in tone, every time she hesitated to say a word. I watched her fidget with her gloves, her eyes darting to the side every few seconds.

i keep silent for a few seconds after she finishes talking.

"I accept your apology, Elysia. Don't feel bad about it. And the attractive thing..i...uhm..."

i find myself at a loss of words.

Not once in my life have i been called attractive. That scared me. Attractive? like, i attract her? like that? im so utterly puzzled and surprised at such a word that i forget its meaning.

How could a girl as sweet and graceful as her think an inhumane figure like me is...attractive?

"Cat got your tongue?" she teases. she smiles, covering her mouth with her hand as she giggles, her eyes crinkling at the sides as she does so.

I humor her, laughing a bit with her.

"just a little. Um...thank you." i say shyly.

She smiles at me, and i smile back.

"o-oh, um, here. these are for you."

she finally hands me the basket of baked goods, and moves her hair behind her ear.

"I was too busy talking and forgot to give these to you. they're all yours, keep the basket too."

I look down at the basket, then back up at her.

"thank you elysia."

She nods, and walks towards the door. "i better get going now. But, i'll see you around maybe? maybe you'd like to go out for coffee sometime?"

She talks to me with the same soft yet firm tone, but this time she's not looking at me. Her back is turned and her hand is on the doorknob, clutching it as if she really wants to leave.

"i-...well, sure. Come by anytime, then." i respond.

Elysia opens the door and leaves, closing it behind her without looking back or responding to what i said.

It feels....wrong. I met her yesterday, and i've already given her an invitation to come to my home anytime. i didn't even get her number.

I sit back down on my couch, the basket of of goods on my lap. I'm still pondering, wondering why she's so..fond of me.

Attractive.

i repeat the word in my head like i've never heard it before. like it's something new.

Attractive.

Me?

There's no way. it has to be a joke. I'm skinny, my skin tone is ghostly, my facial features are droopy and tired.

But she looked at me like i was normal.

like i wasn't a creature, but a human being who has a life just like everybody else.

Nobody but my mother has looked at me like that before.