2 - 1

To say that everything was fine after that would be a lie, a very bad and very big lie.

Freya was the first person to understand me, to see me for who I am without any kind of addition. And, not having her there with me, waking up and not finding her in the dining room, or in the courtyard throwing her disc in the air, destroyed me. I often spent a lot of time in her room, in two weeks they would remodel everything to accommodate another guest.

I moved all her things to my house. Mom didn’t protest.

After that it was pretty obvious that that place no longer had anything for me. And, therefore, it became a place I wanted to escape from. And I did it: officially recovered, away from substances and smoke. It took me a year but I did it, the time I had spent away from that after dad died helps a lot.

Her last wish for me repeated over and over in my head: Light the lamp, Elian. You know what a moto is? Have you ever heard it? It’s supposed to be a phrase or a law that you base your life and your behavior on and it helps you stay on the side of good and noble human beings who do no harm.

The puck, the words on it became my moto.

I joined the local hockey team, I was the best on the right wing, then the best on the left wing, then I was the best center, then I was the best goalie. And they made me captain.

Oh, right, the only bad thing about all that was that Mr. Pizza Night was on the team. I don’t know why or how long he’d been there but there he was, pretending not to know me from day one. And the funniest thing about it all is that it didn’t bother me at all. I had one goal and that was to be the best hockey player in the history of stupid humanity, and I would do it, and, just when all eyes are on me, I would tell them about Freya.

Hero stories were never my thing, I found them repetitive, predictive and boring as a result. I mean: bad villain, girl in trouble, hero being a hero and saving the day, villain in jail or dead and that was the end. But in life there is not always a villain, sometimes the villains are ourselves. Sometimes your opponent is so powerful that you can only fight with all your might and no, you don’t always win. That’s life. You can cry, you can scream, you can ask for help, you can crawl to the gates of Olympus and beg for help from the gods but that does not guarantee, ever, that you will win.

Summarizing the philosophical words above: you cannot control life. You cannot control your destiny, we are just small beings in a canoe and destiny is a huge river, all we do is row and row to stay in the current and not be swallowed by the hurricanes. But one day the current changes and you can’t row to stop it, you end up in a new flow and you return to your usual task: row and hope for the best.

The change of current in my life took my little boat, and my mother’s, to the town next to ours, smaller, new people, new everything. And why? Well, Mom was offered to run the new real estate branch in town and I had no intention of leaving her alone so I resigned from the captain’s position, packed my things with a smile and there I was, not knowing what to do but happy for Mom.

One Tuesday at eight o’clock at night. There, at that exact moment, the real story begins. Consider the above as a preamble, the horrible story of my life, the light in the middle of the darkness, the recovery and then the big change.

That’s right, part two begins here so adjust your glasses and turn on the lights. We’ll be here for a long time.

Tuesday at eight o’clock at night, it was my birthday, mom insisted on going out to eat, which I didn’t dislike at all but I didn’t like either, since most places have tables for four people and I couldn’t help but see the empty chairs and think how nice it would be to have dad and Freya there, laughing with us. That confirmed the following for me: when you lose something, you’re never the same again.

-You did it on purpose, right?- we were in front of the city’s sports center, on the door, right where mom decided to tie her shoelaces, it read: “Provincial Hockey Championship, looking for captains. Join our team”

-Yes. Come here tomorrow morning, with all your things- she said laughing-, you don’t want to leave it, do you?

-I’m quite happy at home. That cooking, laundry, and acting like a newlywed is great.

-I know you hate it- we laughed together-, give it a chance.

-I will.

And I did, Elian Blake is a man of his word, never say otherwise.

That morning I was on the rink, spinning a bit just after the machine had smoothed everything out. I hadn’t stood on the blades for a few months and it felt good. I gripped the club tightly and tried a few shots. They wanted a captain, which was strange in itself.

Usually the captain comes from the team members, bringing a foreign captain was a gamble. Many things could go wrong from it, at first, not knowing the members of the group, misunderstandings were frequent and that could lead to dissolutions.

However, I gave my best in each test. At that moment I did not intend to win the position but simply to play again as before, of course it was not quite like before because I was missing my teammates, the other members of my group… and Freya.

The judges, the only two who were there with their papers writing things down in their folders, smiled and murmured words among themselves.

-What group? - the guy asked me, I looked at him for a few seconds without understanding -, you were captain before, right?

-The titans from the next city- I answered with a smile.

-Oh, those are good. Why did you leave them? - he hit my shoulder playfully but somewhat hard. I hesitated to answer, I didn’t want to air all my misfortunes there.

-Okay- a man spoke, he was wearing a suit and his hair was “combed” back, “combed” because, with the amount of gel he had, it was difficult for me to think that it was actually combed, it shone as much as the ice beneath us-, Elian, which one of you is Elian Blake? - I approached a few meters-. Okay, you, we don’t need you. Go away- the other guy cursed, threw the stick on the ice and left-. Tomorrow we will sign the contract, come at eight in the morning- he told me without taking his eyes off the paper.

-Contract?- I asked-, am I already hired?

-Yes, you are what we are looking for. We will discuss the salary and the rest of the team tomorrow, kid.

-Rest of the team?- he didn’t answer me, he just laughed and left the rink with graceful movements.

When I got home I didn’t say anything to mom. The situation was not certain, I mean, according to his words I had the job, yes, but what about the rest? Somehow I felt that there was a lot more information to be obtained before I could affirm in a concrete, certain and forever way that I had the job.

The reviews of the sports center were not bad, they had won many tournaments and, seeing that another one was coming up, I could understand the need for a captain.

-What do I do? - I had the puck in my hands and I was spinning it like a toy. I tried to think rationally, as much as I wanted to return to hockey, I had to do it in a safe way. Breaking into a new team, a new sponsor in a regional tournament was thought-provoking, people knew me as the captain of the Titans, my resignation had not been made public yet, nor the assignment of a new captain, it was also likely that they would contact me to return later, close to the tournament.

I had to think about many things. For the moment, I decided to sleep and show up tomorrow at the place, hopefully, all my questions would be resolved there.

-Main office, third floor- I muttered as I climbed the stairs. The place didn’t have an elevator, the rink was on the ground floor, a wise decision, on the first floor were the gym, locker rooms, lockers and showers; the next floors were for the smaller courts. When I got to the third floor I could hear footsteps, the characteristic screech of a basketball game.

I entered without thinking, I was early and a large part of my indecision was based on not knowing the quality of the players in the place, so, if I saw a game I could get an idea of what level to expect from my future, maybe future, team. I took a place in the upper stands, it was not my intention to be seen or heard, I had to remain still as a ghost but with my eyes attentive to the game.

I didn’t know many rules about basketball and, given the small number of players, I guessed it was a training session.

-That’s it!- they shot one last time before a whistle blew. Three members hugged each other laughing-, am I not the best at free throws?- he asked raising his hands.

-You are, and you are also cute and that is why I adore you- he was tall, muscular, his blond hair stood out with the lights and, I could not be sure then, but, from the red of the tips to the roots, it had a striking, very attractive, reddish gradient. It looked like fire. And yes, maybe I was a little too interested in him from the beginning.

-Don’t kiss me again- the other rejected him by pushing his chest.

-Why? If you say that I only want to bother you more- he took her head tightly, one hand on her chin, another hand on her head. He turned her around forcefully and planted a loud kiss on her cheek.

That was definitely something I could never do. Not even to my best friend and, if I did, I definitely wouldn’t be as well received with laughter as he was.

-Hey!- I was lost in my thoughts, mesmerized by the fire in her hair and I didn’t realize that her celestial blue eyes were on me. I snorted without thinking. Her eyes were ice, ice was my element. -Who are you? I don’t remember seeing you around here- with graceful steps she ran up the stairs towards me.

-Elian Blake, I’m the new captain of the hockey team- I held out my hand hoping not to look like an idiot hypnotized by his stupid sideways smile and the sweat that was running down his neck.

-Oh, they found one- he said, then I realized my words, I hadn’t signed anything yet, I didn’t even have a fully formed decision in my head but, anyway, I introduced myself as the captain of the hockey team. Me.

By now you’ll be clear, dear readers, that his presence affected me, and I knew well where that led and it wasn’t good.

-People here call me Lan- he shook my hand and I took it away after a few seconds, I had no intentions of repeating history and letting myself be carried away by my feelings… what damn feelings am I talking about if I’d only known him for twenty minutes? I must be going crazy-. A pleasure. I’m the leader of these idiots- he pointed down at the basketball group.

Then he was also captain, great, just great, his attractiveness appeared multiplied, quintupled in front of me

-You can count on me for whatever you need- I nodded-, the president arrived. Good luck in your meeting- he pointed towards the hallway.

I hurried to walk towards the hallway where the president was waiting for me in front of the door. I exchanged greetings with him before entering.

That day when I returned home, already showered and lying in my bed I reviewed my day.

I was the captain of the hockey team, an incomplete team since it was missing two members.

Freya would be laughing in heaven.

My heart beat faster when I thought about Lan, the ice-fire boy as I began to call him in my mind since then.

I would need to get as far away from him as possible.

I know what you are thinking: there is nothing wrong with it. And it doesn’t, but, in my case, with my history, with my past, the best thing I could do was simply ignore all of that, pretend that our meeting never happened and that was it. That way things wouldn’t get messed up. Or at least that’s what I thought.

My innocent and childish self, overcome by lack of sleep, considered that it would be possible for me to decide one thing, at least one small thing in my life, but no. Thing 4 couldn’t happen because, the next day, I found myself in the president’s office, sitting next to him.

Ironic, right?

The thing you most hope to avoid turns out to be the same thing that fate puts next to you. Right the next day.

I won’t lie to you, when our eyes met and he smiled and that sparkle lit up his icy eyes, I thought about leaving everything: rejecting the position, returning home and pretending that the whole moving thing never happened.

-We meet again, Blake.

-Elian- I corrected him in a whisper.

-I know, but Blake sounds better, don’t you think?- he laughed nervously.

-Whatever, Lan- I said trying to sound disinterested-, just Lan?- I asked suddenly.

-It’s a funny story. When I got here they… my name is Kellan Stellan, the real one, the long one. As you can see, both end in “lan”, so, for short they started calling me Lan, it’s simpler- he smiled again.

-Kellan Stellan- I repeated.

-Yes, my parents didn’t think it through very well. Isn't pretty like Elian, or Blake- he said, actually he said a lot more things but my brain stopped at “pretty like Elian”, of course he was referring to the name, not to me as a person, but I started to feel nervous anyway.

-They’re here- the president entered the room reading the papers in his hand-, the tournament, you’ll be in charge of preparing it- I couldn’t believe what I heard. Making preparations for a tournament was the president’s job. Preparing the team for the tournament was the captains’ job and I didn’t have a team to prepare. What kind of joke was that?

-What?- I asked surprised-, I mean, we’re supposed to train the teams to win, not waste time with preparations that the higher-ups should have resolved.

-Wow, you finally talk- Lan was surprised, smiling from ear to ear-, and boy do you talk- he laughed referring to the magnitude of my words, yes, I admit, they weren’t the kindest words for the moment but the situation seemed absurd to me.

-I have to complete the team, right?- I tried to speak normally.

-That’s right- the man admitted, crossing his arms

-And how will I do that if I have to prepare the tournament?. You said that the place doesn’t have any more players, so, I suppose you expect me to look for them from abroad, that implies traveling, at least two days. Who will train the existing members in the meantime?

-You… I’ve never seen a captain surrender so quickly. You surprise me, Blake- he made a strange grimace that consisted of twisting his jaw and widening his eyes. If you think it’s weird to read it, you can’t even imagine seeing it in person. It took me a few seconds to recover and respond.

-I’m not giving up. I’m just saying that time is not enough to do it all.

-So what’s your solution, it takes two people to prepare for the tournament. Do you want to get off?

-Why don’t you two plan the tournament and I’ll take care of having a team trained for the tournament, isn’t my idea better?

-No- Lan immediately refused-, the president has a vacation starting today. Listen, I won’t lie, I won’t say it’s easy but we can do it, together- the smile he gave me then was warm, but fresh at the same time, full of hope and passion.

-I will do it alone- I said surprising both of them-, I will plan the tournament and my team’s training. You don’t have to worry on your vacation- I got up to leave the room, I needed to use the bathroom. If he smiled like that again I would end up being a big headache and that was the last thing I wanted.

-…mistake.- I heard that with my hand on the doorknob.

-No- Lan’s voice sounded thick as honey, and with a hint of sweetness just like honey. I wondered if he also had a bitter side like honey.

-There are trained captains here, any of them would help you. I don’t see why you chose him.

Chose? Lan chose me?

I entered the room with an unfriendly face, judging by the look on his face Lan had a sneaking suspicion that I had overheard their conversation.

-Elian, I can understand your frustration but I can’t let you do it alone. You don’t know the place, our contacts, our way of doing things.

-Then why are you asking me to do it?- I asked, but the question had another addressee and I was waiting for an answer.

-I chose you, okay- he finally spoke-, so don’t make me look bad in front of everyone- He said such serious things very freely, as if he didn’t really think or consider them serious. In my world telling someone “I chose you” had several meanings, much deeper, or maybe I was the problem and I should start taking things more calmly, after all we were just two strangers forced to prepare a tournament.

-Okay. Your cell phone- I stretched out my hand with an open palm and waited without looking at him. When I felt the device I closed my hand on it. It was already turned on, I looked for his contacts and I booked myself under the name of “Elian Hockey”

-Elian Hockey- he read with a laugh-, who are you?, An ice tycoon- I saw him erase everything and put “Blake” in its place-. Much better.

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