...Chapter 5: Silent Struggles...
After the exhausting day at school, Selene decided to walk home. The journey wasn’t too long, but it still felt far enough to make her consider saving her allowance for the week, so she wouldn’t have to ask her mother for money. Her mother was the one who always provided for their needs, and Selene preferred not to burden her any more than necessary.
As she walked, she found herself enjoying the peaceful scenery of their rural province. Her mind wandered, imagining scenarios that were far from reality—almost like a coping mechanism to feel validated. She envisioned the life she wanted, the perfect life that only existed in her thoughts.
She inhaled deeply, walking along the road alone, and whispered to herself, “I guess I’m alright when I walk alone, huh?”
As she continued down the road, her gaze often fell on the houses around her. It was an unconscious habit; she knew that somewhere along the route, she would pass by Joven’s house, the home of the senior she liked.
“Ahh... I miss him already. I wish he would text me tonight,” she murmured, a blush creeping onto her cheeks, feeling like a typical high school girl in love.
*There’s their house,* she thought as she glanced at it. But for some reason, her smile faded. *I guess we’re not right for each other,* she continued walking, passing in front of Joven’s home. *Their house is so much nicer than ours. Ours is nothing compared to it.*
*They’re rich; we’re poor,* she thought bitterly, a smirk forming on her lips. *I guess we’re just not meant to be.*
After a short walk, Selene found herself nearing the familiar mountain she gazed at every morning and afternoon. Its towering presence was a constant source of comfort to her, something she always paused to appreciate before continuing her journey.
Fifteen minutes later, she reached home. "Mom, I'm home," she called out, though she already knew that her parents wouldn't be home yet. They worked long hours, often not returning until 5 PM.
Her younger siblings were likely playing in the neighborhood, enjoying their carefree childhood while Selene took on the responsibility of cleaning and preparing dinner for the family. Despite her exhaustion, she knew she had no choice. *Is this goodness? Or is it fear?* she wondered.
After completing the chores, Selene heard her mother's voice from the door. "Child, prepare the food. I'm stressed today, so don't make it worse."
Selene silently obeyed, knowing better than to respond. She moved through the motions—setting the table, cooking, and ensuring everything was in place. Her mother’s voice cut through again, "What's up with the floor? Didn’t you sweep it? It’s dirty!"
Selene, her heart heavy with unspoken words, followed the instructions without complaint. *Follow, just follow,* she told herself, hoping it would spare her from further hurtful words. She couldn’t afford to speak back, knowing the consequences.
Despite her weariness from school and the household chores, there was a part of her that longed to cry. But no, she couldn’t. She feared being mocked as a crybaby again. *Was this trauma?*
Dinner time came, and though the table was filled with conversation, the warmth seemed out of reach for Selene. Her family joked and laughed, but she felt disconnected, as if the atmosphere didn’t belong to her. She had no choice but to go with the flow, hiding her true feelings behind a smile.
Once dinner was over, the familiar routine continued. Selene washed the dishes and barely had time for her studies before she retreated to her bedroom, tired but determined to keep up. As she lay on her bed, she picked up her phone and saw a message that made her heart flutter.
"Good evening, Selene."
The message was from Joven. A smile spread across her face, the warmth in her heart blooming once more. She loved this boy, though they both kept their feelings a secret.
"Hi, dear Joven. How was your day?" she replied, her words tender with affection.
Joven responded: "It was good. How about you?"
Selene typed: "Well, not bad either. I saw you this morning, you know? I was going to say hi, but you were too far away."
Joven’s response was lighthearted: "Haha, you should’ve approached me, silly."
Selene sighed, her fingers hovering over the keyboard. "I didn’t want us to become the center of attention. You know how well-known we are in school. If the news gets to my parents, they’ll punish me."
Joven seemed to understand: "Ah, so you’re afraid of rumors if we start dating, right?"
"Yeah," she typed, the weight of her words sinking in. "Our connection is low-key. Only my friends know about us."
"Yeah, that’s true," Joven replied, his words a little distant, leaving her with a lingering sense of uncertainty.
Selene paused for a moment before responding. "I’m going to sleep now, Joven. I’m exhausted from the day. Have a pleasant night, dear. Bye." She added a heart emoji before sending the message, her smile bittersweet.
At least there was someone who could still make her smile. With that thought, she drifted off to sleep, the weight of her day easing slightly as the quiet of the night surrounded her.
To be continued...
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