Love, Regret, and Flustered Realizations

Chapter 10: Love, Regret, and Flustered Realizations

(Ryan lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, still feeling the heat in his cheeks from Joshua’s earlier teasing. He pulled the blanket over his head, groaning softly to himself.)

Ryan: (muttering) I should’ve known he wouldn’t change. Still the same infuriating, smug—

(His thoughts drift back to their relationship years ago. He remembers how young they were, fumbling through their feelings.)

Ryan: (thinking) Why was I such a lovesick fool? I was practically glued to him like some over-enthusiastic puppy.

(He recalls the time he confessed his feelings—an elaborate gesture involving flowers, a crowd of university students, and an embarrassing lack of self-preservation.)

Ryan: (groaning aloud) Who proposes in front of the entire university? Me. Like an idiot.

(Flashback to the confession: Ryan, standing in the middle of the campus courtyard, holding a giant bouquet of sunflowers and grinning nervously as he shouted.)

Ryan (past): (nervously but loudly) Joshua seo, I’m in love with you! Will you go out with me?

(Joshua, casually walking by with his books, stops. He looks at Ryan, his face unreadable. The crowd holds its breath.)

Joshua (past): (giving a single, nonchalant nod) Okay.

(Then he walks away, leaving Ryan standing there, stunned and holding the flowers. The crowd erupts into cheers, but Ryan is frozen in disbelief.)

Ryan: (back to present, burying his face in the pillow) A nod. I should’ve known right then that I was doomed.

(He remembers how their relationship progressed—or rather, how he chased after Joshua like a determined shadow.)

Ryan: (thinking) I planned dates. I wrote love letters. I even learned how to bake just because he mentioned liking cookies once. And him? A smirk here, a sarcastic comment there. He made me feel like I was the lucky one.

(Another memory surfaces: Ryan dragging Joshua to a campus dance. Ryan is practically buzzing with excitement, while Joshua is stoic as ever.)

Ryan (past): (excitedly) Isn’t this great? The music, the lights—

Joshua (past): (deadpan) You stepped on my foot.

Ryan (past): (laughing nervously) Oops! Sorry!

Joshua (past): (sighing, but pulling Ryan closer) Just don’t trip.

(Back in the present, Ryan’s face burns with the realization that, despite everything, he’s still drawn to Joshua.)

Ryan: (thinking) Why do I still feel like that lovesick teenager? He hasn’t changed a bit—still infuriatingly smug, still...

(His thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the door creaking open. Joshua peeks his head in, his smirk firmly in place.)

Joshua: You’re talking to yourself again.

Ryan: (sitting up abruptly) I wasn’t!

Joshua: (stepping inside, leaning against the doorframe) Sure you weren’t. What was it this time? Replaying your grand confession?

Ryan: (flustered) Shut up.

Joshua: (grinning) Come on, admit it—you’re still madly in love with me.

Ryan: (throwing a pillow at him) In your dreams!

Joshua: (catching the pillow effortlessly) You’re right. In my dreams, you’re a lot quieter.

Ryan: (glaring) Why are you here? Shouldn’t you be off somewhere being annoying?

Joshua: (shrugging) I couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d check on you. You looked... lonely.

Ryan: (muttering) I was fine until you showed up.

Joshua: (smirking, crossing the room to sit on the edge of the bed) Liar. You missed me.

Ryan: (crossing his arms) I missed peace and quiet, which you clearly don’t understand.

Joshua: (leaning closer, his voice dropping) Admit it, Ryan. Deep down, you’ve always liked me barging into your life.

(Ryan’s heart skips a beat, but he quickly pushes Joshua away.)

Ryan: (flustered) Go away, Joshua.

Joshua: (laughing softly as he stands) Fine. But don’t stay up all night replaying our greatest hits.

(He leaves, closing the door behind him. Ryan collapses back onto the bed, pulling the blanket over his head again.)

Ryan: (muttering to himself) Why does he always have to have the last word?

(As sleep starts to claim him, Ryan’s thoughts drift back to Joshua’s smirk and the warmth of his touch. Despite everything, a small smile tugs at his lips.)

Ryan: (softly) I really was a fool... and maybe I still am.

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