Bella's POV
ca. a day after Bella's 18th birthday party
She could have laid there in the woods for 2 minutes, 60 hours, a century, or even millennia. Looking back on it, there was no way to know how long she had been there. But it had felt like forever.
She just bathed in blackness. Floating in an infinite space. There was nothing. And at the same time, there was everything.
This space. This bubble. It was comfort. It kept her warm. Secure. It gave her everything that Edward had just so selfishly ripped away from her. She quickly cast the thought of Edward out of her mind. It hurt too much.
The sea of blackness brought a familiar comfort. Nothing could touch her in this void. Although, she had a far-off feeling that she was getting colder. But as fast as that thought penetrated her bubble, it floated away again.
Darkness. Floating. Ultimate peace.
She heard some faint noises. A metallic smell and sound cloaked her. But the darkness soon encompassed everything. Hovering between the nothingness, dreams, hopes, and memories came together.
Renee and Phil visited her. They were so close she could almost reach out to them. Her mom kneeled beside her and kissed her forehead.
“I am so proud of you my little Swan” she whispered softly into Bella's ear.
A bright light blinded Bella, and Phil and Renee disappeared as the honking teetered in her ears. She screamed. Bella's arms trashed around her to find the stability she so craved. To no avail, the dark returned. Instead of her mom, she now saw two graves in front of her.
Phil and Renee Dwyer. 1976 – 2011.
Tried, her efforts lead to no avail; Bella’s feet felt like they were cemented in concrete. There was nowhere to run. And as fast as the memory came, it disappeared again into smoke.
Black. Everything was black. No beginning. No end.
She saw snippets passing by above her. Angela. Jessica. Mike. Ben.
The laughter of Jake.
And then she saw him. Edward. She did not shake the thought away this time.
She walked towards him in the cafeteria. Edward stood up and looked at her. Taking her in from head to toe, with that half-crooked smile that she just loved so much.
Then, his face changed. His expression hardened, his eyebrows pressed together, and with a piercing gaze he whispered
“not worth it.”
Blackness
Everywhere blackness
No sounds. The commotion had died down. She sighed, as she let the darkness take her.
Had it been eons? Had it been seconds?
Bella wavered
Wandered
And wondered
Should she just give up?
Before she could answer her thoughts, one sentence pierced through the bubble, causing the black liquid to splatter apart around her.
“You are worth it.”
Ca. a day (i.e. the second night) after Bella's 18th birthday party
With a gasp, Bella set up. She could still taste the adrenaline on her tongue. She looked around and released the breath she didn't know she was holding. The familiar sight of her bedroom greeted her. She sighed contently. A nightmare. Typical. It had all been a dream.
Her lips curved into a short smile. Finally understanding what the flight, fright, or fight response was about that they had learned about in biology last year. She swallowed a few times, trying to get rid of the lingering evidence of her nightmare that tainted her mouth, as she let her eyes get used to the dark.
Hmpf. She mentally went over her options. Currently, she was too awake to fall asleep again. She slowly rubbed her eyes, eliminating the last traces of sleep. Okay, that is it, she nodded, as she made her way out of the bedroom and down the stairs. The snores of Charlie filled the air, and the smell of hours-old pizza penetrated the living room. Take out. Obviously. She should really teach Charlie the basics of cooking in the coming months, she mentally noted to herself. Otherwise, there was no way he was ever going to survive without her.
As she approached the sink, something was scratching her brain. Did she have pizza last night? Where had she been? The only thing she remembered clear as day was her nightmare. The darkness surrounding her. She felt a shudder passing through her spine at the thought of it. Bella shook her head as if to will the thought away, but it did not completely work.
She took a big glass from the cabinet and filled it with the cold mountain water that ran from the kitchen tab. As she took a few gulps, it seemed to clear her mind.
Her eyes scanned the room, and as she did, her eyes fell on a small piece of paper on the kitchen island, nicely illuminated by the light of the full moon. She hopped over, and let her eyes scan the white document
Charlie,
I will be staying at the Cullens for the next few days. Thank you so much for the small birthday present. Please don’t eat too much pizza while I’m away.
Love,
Bella
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