CH 3 BELLA: Celibacy

…I take back what I said about it being manageable.

It’s been over a month since I started waking up every morning, kicking out the men, and performing the duties of a countess. Maybe it was because I was unexpectedly good at the job, but the way the servants looked at me had changed. Even a butler I’d never seen before came to see me.

Sure, it’s nice to be recognized. If I’m going to keep living as Arbella, I should raise her status to some extent. But I never wanted to be in this situation.

“Ah! What’s all this?! The workload just keeps growing!”

The simple arithmetic that used to be required in the paperwork had become increasingly lengthy and complex. Now, I was subtly being given all the documents related to managing the entire estate. When I complained, the butler wiped away tears and said:

– “This is originally the countess’s work.”

Apparently, he’d been struggling to handle it all because Arbella had neglected her duties. Grinding my teeth in frustration, I angrily scribbled my way through the paperwork.

“Damn it, Arbella just gets to have fun every day while I’m stuck cleaning up her mess!”

My irritation only intensified whenever the butler, who seemed to be expressing a liking for me, suddenly turned serious and said things like, “You know, I’m too old for anything to ‘rise’ anymore.”

‘What kind of life did she lead to make even the old butler wary of me?’

Arbella was definitely a full-fledged man-eater, not discriminating at all. While she continued her carefree existence, I, occupying the daytime hours, was pushed into being a diligent worker ant. This, in turn, somewhat improved Arbella Conte’s image.

She had gone from being a countess who lounged around like a grasshopper to one who worked hard during the day and fully enjoyed her nights. I thought this image improvement would make me happy, but instead, I felt more depressed. As I signed the endless documents, I clutched my chest in frustration.

‘This situation only benefits Arbella! This is so unfair!’

After sharing her body for so long, it was clear that the Arbella of the night must have noticed someone was using her body during the day. Overcome with frustration, I paused my paperwork and left a note for her.

[To the Arbella of the Night,

How about you start taking on some of the countess duties too? There’s too much work for me to handle alone.]

This is your job, after all. I wrote with a hint of annoyance, pressing hard into the paper. I didn’t really expect a response, though; she’d ignored my previous note.

But what do you know? This time, she replied!

[You sure demand a lot.]

It was a response that practically screamed intent to send me to an early grave from high blood pressure!

[If you don’t want to do it, then just quit. Life’s too short to do things you don’t want to do.]

On the surface, it seemed cool, but it was irresponsibly dismissive. I trembled with rage upon reading it.

“You, you!”

Arbella didn’t just leave it at that. She rubbed it in by being even more promiscuous at night. Whereas she used to bring one or two men into the bedroom, now it was five. The number of backs I had to slap to wake men up and the amount of cleaning I had to do increased. She was clearly provoking me.

The amount of passionate s*x she had at night left my body aching. As I sat down, my back screamed in pain. Gritting my teeth, I muttered to myself.

“Fine, if that’s how you want to play, I’ll make my move too.”

With a resolute expression, I ordered the butler.

“Send all the male servants in this guesthouse back to the main house immediately.”

“…Excuse me?”

I had come to learn that Arbella lived in a guesthouse a little way from the main estate. It seemed the Count Asil Conte had devised this arrangement to prevent Arbella’s scandalous lifestyle from leaking out.

There were about twenty male servants in this guesthouse, and they were all probably her lovers. I never saw them working during the day.

“You all need to work too. Just because you’re young and fit doesn’t mean you can live off being kept men.”

Evicting them from the guesthouse meant an end to the wild nighttime escapades. The butler, understanding my words, asked again, as if not believing his ears.

“All of them?”

“Yes, all of them.”

Clenching my fist and lifting my chin in a dignified manner, I replied firmly.

“Starting today, I’m leading a celibate lifestyle.”

The butler wept tears of joy, believing the countess had finally turned over a new leaf.

* * *

The response was immediate.

That night, Arbella left a hastily scrawled note, barely legible. It was the first time she had sent a letter first. The content was quite memorable.

[You fucking bitch, I’ll tear you apart and feed you to the dogs!]

I calmly folded it into a paper plane and sent it flying into the trash.

“Not scared at all. Go ahead, try to tear me apart. Your body will tear too.”

“You should have listened to me.”

So, you said do as you please, right? Then I’ll do as I please too. From the start, I never liked the idea of you enjoying your nightlife alone.

“From today, we will start a communist revolution. Our goal: shared labor, shared ownership, shared pleasure !”

Muttering a very loosely interpreted communist slogan that would make any scholar cry, I wrote back:

[If you don’t work, you don’t play.]

If Arbella Conte were just an ordinary woman, she might have sought a compromise there. But she wasn’t just an ordinary woman.

The next morning, I woke up without needing to slap any backs, but I was horrified to find the bed still in a mess, despite there being no partners.

“…What is this?”

As I moved the damp sheets, a branch-like object fell from between the covers and hit the floor. The black body, slick with some liquid, glistened menacingly.

The thing started vibrating as if a button had been pressed, and by then, I could no longer deny reality. It was a Dildo.

“Oh my God! Where did she even get this?”

Screaming, I stood up, and my eyes caught a bill on the desk for an unbelievable amount.

“Crazy woman! Crazy woman! Crazy woman!”

What is all this? How many adult toys did she buy? You’re a countess! Is this really okay?

Moreover, how do these things even work?

Holding the bill with trembling hands, I screamed.

“She spent the entire allowance allocated to the countess on adult toys?!”

I felt a throbbing at the back of my neck, like the kind you get before you pass out.

But if anyone should collapse, it should be her, not me. With a resolute glint in my eye, I hastily scribbled a note.

[Are you seriously out of your mind? Can’t you tone it down?]

I thought of much harsher words, but I tried to keep it as polite as possible.