What to do?

Of all the things you've made me feel, Kushida, I didn't think gratitude would be one of them.

So thank you.

Suzune Horikita

A few days ago we organized study groups to try to raise the class average and prepare for the final exams.

"Good morning, everyone."

I didn't need to look to know who it was, I didn't want to see.

"What's with them?"

I looked at the red-haired boy leaning against my desk, a few weeks ago this scene would have been too absurd to imagine, but there he was casually talking to me. We had developed a good rapport (not thanks to me) but because of Sudo-kun's interest in his studies, so I decided to help him personally.

"I don't know."

I answer, trying not to show my bad mood. He narrows his eyes at me and when I return his gaze, he looks away. For some reason that I still couldn't understand, Sudo couldn't look me in the eye for long.

"Good morning Horikita-san and Sudo-kun, you seem to be getting along well."

Kushida's cloying voice penetrates my ears and I feel that if I hear one more word from her they will start to bleed.

"Ayanokouji you're bad, why didn't you say you were going out with Kushida-chan? Wasn't Horikita-san enough?"

For the first time I thanked Ike for his tactlessness, which saved me from having to interact with Kikyo.

I look at the time, it's exactly 60 seconds before sensei enters the room, so I gesture for Sudo to come a little closer and whisper that only he or someone else should be there.

"Stay after today's study session."

He looks at me confused with his red cheeks, but I don't have time to explain as Chabashira sensei enters the room.

...♧♤♧...

Lunchtime arrives and once again I'm in the eating area watching Kushida happily eating her lunch.

She's playing with us, torturing us with her obviously unwanted company. I feel Kiyotaka's leg bump into mine under the table. I look away from Kushida to face him, but there's nothing to be said, or maybe he did it because he was afraid I'd suddenly develop heat vision and turn Kushida into a barbecue right there.

"I'm going to the bathroom quickly, don't go anywhere."

Kikyo left almost skipping towards the bathroom.

Kiyotaka fidgeted in his chair, attracting my attention.

"What are you going to do?"

"Why are you asking me this?"

Ayanokouji seme narrowed his dark brown eyes, trying to see through me.

"Why do you want Sudo to stay until after the study session today?"

True, he was close enough to hear, but I didn't think he was paying attention to me and Sudo-kun and...

What was he getting at with those questions? I wasn't trying to do anything strange and yet his questions were full of suspicion. Maybe he thinks I'm angry with him because of what happened, and if I think about it, the way I've been acting also makes him think that.

I'd like to say that all my cold behavior was due to the fact that Kushida stuck to him like gum and so at the moment avoiding Kikyo was the same as avoiding Kiyotaka.

But maybe it's for the best.

I didn't want the end of our sexual adventures to also result in the end of our... "friendship" (if you could call our relationship that). But it's hard... after we've come so far, it's hard to act as if it never happened.

The air between us now is always tainted with desire and promises of pleasure in each other's arms, and if I don't keep my distance, people more dangerous than Kushida might find out... And me? I don't even want to think about what could happen....

My situation as a class D student, no, as the leader of the school's lowest class is already delicate in itself, maintaining a relationship of this kind would be more misfortune than blessing.

...♧♤♧...

I wonder... would it be strange to ask Sudo for a favor? Can we consider ourselves friends by now?

I can't get caught up in this... I need to act quickly before I go crazy. I watch all the students from the study group leave, except for the red-haired boy who looks at me with great anticipation.

I walk slowly, I don't want to show my anxiety and probable desperation, I calmly rest my hand on his shoulder and get close looking deep into his eyes, I need him to trust me and not betray me.

"Sudo-kun, do you trust me?"

The boy turned away from me as if my touch was burning him, panic showing on his face.

"I-I need to go to the bathroom," he stammered, getting up in such a hurry that he knocked over his chair.

"I'll be right back."

And he ran off.

His face was completely red, had I done something wrong? Was he scared? Was I too incisive?

I took a deep breath, I couldn't fail to bring him to my side...

I looked around at the shelves full of books in the library, my eyes being captivated by a title.

"Crime and Punishment."

I've lost count of how many times I've come to look for it and been unsuccessful in finding it.

I almost ran to the bookshelf, afraid that someone would take that chance away from me. When I finally reached the bookshelf, I reached out and couldn't get my hands on it, couldn't even touch it. I stretched out as far as I could, standing on my tiptoes, on my toes...

" ...useless"

I turned to go take a chair and ran into a wall.

"There..." - I rubbed my nose - "how could I not see..." the words died in my mouth as I realized that it wasn't a wall but none other than Kiyotaka. With the book I wanted in his hands.

I cleared my throat, straightened my posture and, aligning my uniform, whispered.

"Thank you," I said, holding out my hand, but he took the book out of my reach, I tried to take it again and he dodged.

What the fuck?

"I saw it first," I said.

"And I took it first." He retorted.

What the hell is going on? What is he, five years old?

"Kiyotaka" - I said in a warning tone - "I'm not joking."

"I'm not either," he replied in his calm, monotone tone.

What a frustrating situation, those moments made me forget how annoying he could be... I took a deep breath trying to calm down, it wasn't worth it. I had other things to worry about than fighting with him about this damn book.

I can do this, just let it go, Suzune.

I turned my back on Ayanokouji with the intention of going back to the study table and waiting for Sudo-kun to return, but the book appeared right in front of my face, preventing me from continuing.

What's that now?

I cast a questioning glance over my shoulder at Kiyotaka... and nothing, once again trying to decipher his expression proved to be a futile task. I grabbed the book, but Ayanokouji wouldn't let go, so I tried to pull harder and... Kiyotaka pulled the book towards himself, taking me with him.

Our bodies collided and I froze, maybe I had been taken by surprise by the unexpected move, yes maybe, but it wasn't just that... it had been a week since I had been so close to him that I could feel his breath on my face and the warmth of his skin through my uniform... this situation was making me... feel things... things that I didn't want to feel, shouldn't feel, not for him... not now...

A sudden noise snapped me out of my trance.

"I'm sorry, I-I... I didn't mean to get in the way... I'll be right there"

Before Ichinose could go.

"No, calm down. I was just leaving, you didn't disturb anything, don't worry."

I hastened to explain the misunderstanding, but the leader of class B didn't seem to be convinced in the slightest.

"We just wanted the same book"

Kiyotaka spoke up next to me, pointing to the book I was still holding. This seemed to convince her, as the gleam of suspicion in her eyes diminished.

"Suzune?"

Strange and annoying. That's what I thought when I heard my first name pronounced by Sudo without my permission. But the timing of his arrival was opportune, because whatever Ichinose thinks he saw going on between me and Kiyotaka didn't exist, because I'm with Sudo and he still called me by my first name. So we're close, right?

At least that's what I hope she thinks.

" All right, get your things. We'll talk on the way to the dorm, excuse me Ichinose-san and Ayanokouji-kun"

I left with the book and holding Sudo-kun by the arm, any suspicion was definitely killed. But the way Ichinose appeared... It's strange... The leader of class B is popular and is always surrounded by classmates, but this time she was alone...

Definitely unusual.

As if the universe were answering my questions, I saw the following image.

Kushida leaning against the wall checking her nails.

"Horikita-san!" she said, jumping up as soon as she saw us approaching, looking at my hand, which was still holding Sudo's arm.Any suspicions were definitely killed. But the way Ichinose appeared... It's strange... The leader of class B is popular and is always surrounded by classmates, but this time she was alone...

Definitely unusual.

As if the universe were answering my questions, I saw the following image.

Kushida leaning against the wall checking her nails.

"Horikita-san!" she said, jumping up as soon as she saw us approaching, and looking at my hand, which was still holding Sudo's arm, she tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Hmm... I thought you were with Ayanokouji-kun"

As I thought.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you," I replied, walking past her.



Everything was ready. I hadn't imagined that my plan would work so well.

Kushida Kikyo thank you for voluntarily turning against me, you've made me learn a lot.

It was late afternoon on a Saturday, a pleasant breeze was coming through the window and swaying the curtains, and the sky was shining in shades of red and pink through the window of my dormitory, a spectacular view, no doubt.

My heart fluttered with a strange mixture of joy and a kind of anxious anticipation as I leafed through and took pictures of the best pages of Kushida's diary.

"Stuzune... I feel kind of bad about doing this to Kushida-chan," sighed Sudo beside him.

"Do you remember why we're doing this?"

"Yes, I know... it's a protective measure, because you suspect that Kushida-chan is plotting against the class" - he repeated my words like a disc jockey.

"Exactly, you're a smart boy Sudo Ken. So you don't have to feel that way, because as well as avoiding future damage to our class, I let you keep calling me by my first name." I said as sweetly and kindly as I could.

In the two days it took to plan and execute the plan, I discovered something.

Sudo Ken is madly in love with me Horikita Suzune. Which means that, with the right words and tone of voice, I can get him to do anything for me.

I didn't know that having someone in love with me would be such a valuable and incredibly useful resource.

*You can bring it

"Please tell me you understand that"

"You think I'm clever?"

I almost smiled, really the only thing he paid attention to was that?

"Yes, I do and I trust that you'll keep this just between us."

"Yes, I swear. I won't betray or disappoint you Suzune."

Now Sudo was grinning from ear to ear, no trace of guilt or doubt left in his eyes.

Good boy.

10 or 15 minutes after Sudo's departure, the visitor I'd been waiting for finally arrived, and I opened the door and let them in.

"Horikita-san... I never imagined that you would willingly invite me to visit your dormitory."

"Could you stop?"

"What?"

"All this sweet, innocent girl facade, I hate it, it's cloying and despicable"

I couldn't stand it any longer, just hearing that sweet tone she produced made me want to vomit.

Kushida looked at me with her eyes twinkling with malice and a devilish little smile at the corner of her lips. Then she slowly shortened the distance between us and whispered.

"Better?"

I didn't back down, I was going to let her think that she was still in control, that she still had me on a leash.

While Kushida was playing with a lock of my hair, I showed Kiyotaka a box on the table, and he opened it.

"Horikita-san smells so good"

Kushida whispered in my ear and then nuzzled my neck.

She... she REMINDED me!

"THAT'S ENOUGH, THAT'S ENOUGH!".

She laughed.

"You know, Horikita-san... I've been..."

"Not another word, I don't want to hear you!" - I really wanted to savor the moment of having Kushida in my hands, but she was getting on my nerves. "I think you'd better stop playing games right now."

"If not...?"

I regained my posture, finally showing her who was really in control. And with the corner of my lips slightly raised, I motioned for Kiyotaka to show her the book he had taken out of the box.

Keep going...

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