Episode 5: Cracks in the Cold

The practice room is empty except for Suga and J-Hope. The faint hum of music from the speakers fills the air as they finish their final run-through for the day. Suga wipes the sweat from his forehead, his face set in its usual, cold expression. It’s his defense mechanism, a shield he’s perfected over time, especially around J-Hope.

J-Hope, on the other hand, is his usual bright self, smiling and bouncing on his feet despite the exhaustion. He jogs over to Suga, playfully nudging his arm, his energy always infectious.

J-Hope (grinning): “Come on, hyung! Let’s go grab something to eat. We’ve been at it all day.”

Suga shrugs off the nudge, his face remaining expressionless, though inside, he feels his usual reaction to J-Hope's touch—a jolt of warmth he can’t quite control. He clears his throat and turns away, picking up his water bottle to avoid looking at him.

Suga (gruffly): “I’m not hungry. You can go without me.”

J-Hope pouts but doesn’t seem fazed by Suga’s coldness, like he’s used to it by now. He steps closer, his playful attitude unwavering.

J-Hope (teasingly): “Come on, hyung. You say that every time, but I know you’ll end up eating anyway. You need to take care of yourself!”

Suga feels a pang of guilt at how easily J-Hope brushes off his coldness. He doesn’t understand how J-Hope can still be so warm toward him, even when he tries to push him away. It frustrates him because the more J-Hope gets close, the harder it is to hide his feelings.

Suga (with a sigh, trying to keep his distance): “Why do you always have to be so persistent?”

J-Hope just laughs, his eyes crinkling with that signature sunshine smile. He steps even closer, intentionally closing the gap between them. Suga stiffens but doesn’t move away.

J-Hope (lightly, but with a hint of seriousness): “Because you’re important to me, hyung. You think I can just leave you alone?”

Suga’s heart skips a beat at J-Hope’s words, but he keeps his face impassive, unwilling to let any of his emotions show. He doesn’t know how to deal with this—how to deal with J-Hope always breaking through his defenses with just a few words or a smile.

But J-Hope doesn’t back off. He steps even closer, now standing directly in front of Suga, their faces just inches apart. Suga feels his pulse quicken, the warmth in his chest growing unbearable. He clenches his fists at his sides, trying to stay composed.

Suga (quietly, his voice colder than he intends): “I don’t need you worrying about me all the time.”

J-Hope’s smile softens, and for a moment, he studies Suga’s face. He knows Suga too well—knows that the cold exterior is just a mask. And he isn’t fooled by it, not anymore.

J-Hope (gently): “Maybe you don’t need it, but I do it because I care.”

Suga’s breath catches in his throat. He hates how easily J-Hope’s words get to him. Every time he tries to distance himself, J-Hope pulls him right back, refusing to let him push him away. Suga looks away, his gaze focusing on the floor as he speaks, his voice quieter now.

Suga (muttering): “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

J-Hope, undeterred, reaches out and gently touches Suga’s arm. The touch is light, but it sends a shiver down Suga’s spine. He stiffens, but he doesn’t pull away. J-Hope takes this as a sign to keep going, stepping even closer, their bodies almost touching now.

J-Hope (softly): “Then tell me. Tell me what’s really going on.”

Suga feels trapped—not by J-Hope, but by his own emotions. He’s spent so long trying to hide his feelings, trying to keep the wall up between them, but J-Hope keeps chipping away at it, bit by bit. He can’t pretend forever, but he doesn’t know how to say it either.

For a moment, the silence stretches between them, thick with unspoken words. Suga glances up, meeting J-Hope’s eyes, and in that moment, he sees the concern, the care, the warmth that he’s been trying to avoid. And it’s too much.

Suga pulls away abruptly, taking a step back, his heart pounding. He turns away from J-Hope, his voice hard again.

Suga (coldly): “Just drop it, okay? You’re too close.”

J-Hope’s smile falters for the first time, but only for a second. He knows Suga well enough to recognize the fear behind his words. Instead of pulling back, J-Hope steps forward again, determined to break through the walls.

J-Hope (softly, but firmly): “I’m not going anywhere, hyung. No matter how hard you try to push me away.”

Suga freezes, his heart racing. He doesn’t understand how J-Hope can still be so warm, so caring, even when he’s cold to him. It makes him feel vulnerable, and that’s something he’s not used to. But as he stands there, with J-Hope refusing to back down, Suga realizes that maybe, just maybe, he doesn’t want him to go anywhere.

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