The meet.

In the afternoon after I was out of work I sat in the balcony with a warm cup of coffee in one hand and the diary in the other.

I was curious earlier but at that moment I was scared. Sacred of the hidden truth I am going to face. Scared of the pain I didn't know my mom was coped up with. "Was I really a good daughter to her??" was the only thing popping up in my mind.

It's true when people say that "one's importance is known when that person is no longer" And right now i knew why they said it. I was missing her badly if only she was alive. If only i could hug her enough and say that I am there even if you feel lonely. But I am too late. To late to make amends to late to say anything to her. But wherever she is right now i wish her soul to "rest in peace".

12/5/1990

Dear diary,

Today I got you as a gift from my mom. I know I know I m a lazy person but I want to write something. Something that only we could share.

So today is 12 of may my birthday. Can you believe I m actually 21 and still act like a kid. Can you blame me?? I like it this way. I hope it never changes. I have moved to this new place a few days ago. This new and unknown place where people are all so busy in their work that they don't even care. I have been here for a week and I already hate it. I miss my old place where I could hear my neighbors talking my friends running Into each other houses. And people's love and care. Out here it's filled with total loneliness and sadness.

Anyways so tomorrow is my first day of college. After I transfered here with my parents I haven't made any friends but tomorrow will I be able to make new friends or will they ignore me as all the people here do?!

13th May. (evening at 9)

Today I went to my new college. Tho the semester have already started the students and teachers were really welcoming I really didn't expect this but It felt good.

I made 2 friend Rosmika and tamanna. They are fun a little but talketive but they are fine. I hope we could be good friends in the future. So everything in the college was fine. The teachers were very friendly and helpful. I really enjoyed their classes and had a fun day but something really interesting happened today. Something I don't know how to explain.

I was in the canteen with Rosmika and Tamanna having our lunch chatting and laughing when our eyes met. The wind around us suddenly stood still. My breath rigid. Eyes fixed at his... what was that... I thought is it my imagination or it feels a little suffocating. Why did his stare bother me so much??! My laugh died in my throat and I was suddenly nervous as if..... as if i m in a interogation room and he is going to introgate me. Is he?! I broke our little eye contact and lowered my gaze to my food and silently began to eat. I appeared to be calm and composed but deep inside I knew.....I knew I was far from that. I was having a storm going inside my head and my heart as if.... as if i am going to have a heart attack soon. The girls seemed to notice me and asked what was that about. But instead of answering their questions. I asked them "who he was". They were taken aback by my sudden question. "Was I supposed to know him?? Why are they so shocked??" before I could ask them anything the bell rang and I had to return to my class.

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