The Beginning

Soon i came to realize that love is not so easy and is really hard to be conveyed....its even more hard to reach the heart .

After I confessed Ethan , his reaction was even worse than I expected. He just burst out laughing and said, " My beloved, finally I was able to make your heart flutter by my charming smile, or hey was it my looks that made you fall for me ??" he continued to laugh again...

Why, I knew this was exactly the thing that would happen , he is just flirting and playing around again and making fun of me....he doesn't even think that I'm serious..... does he know how much courage it took me tell that. I shouted at him "Idiot, you idiot don't make fun of my feelings!!" tears started to fill my eyes as I said that. "I'm not some girl who wants to be seduced by your words and looks....this has nothing to do with that, I literally mean what I said..." I went out of breath and started breathing fast....my face all red and eyes that would cry out any second . I guess he noticed too..

He looked at me for a while and said, "I know. I have known from the very start. You are easy to read"I looked at him surprised....he smiled . " But I didn't wanted you to confess to me, that's why I've been trying to avoid this kind of situation.. "

"But why ,why would u-", he interrupted me in between," because I would never fall in love with you" he was surely serious..... I could say immediately from the look on his face.

The tears that I held back for so long came running down my cheeks .....I knew this was going to happen and I even prepared myself for this....and yet why, why does it hurt so much inside. This tears why won't it stop. I covered my face so that Ethan won't have to see me like this...

"I'm sorry , I really didn't want to hurt you. I don't know how to say this in any other way..." he said without having to look at my face.

"Its OK, I'm fine.....I ...l understand. But still..." I ran back without finishing what I wanted to say. I didn't even look back once. The sadness, the pain, the frustration that I felt was not under my control. This is my fault. For falling in love when I knew the outcome all along Well it doesn't matter anymore.... its over, everything and I am tired, tired of all this ....Mom, I don't think I will be able to continue living like this....the promise that I made to you has become a really big burden on me.

Let's stop this...I've had enough. In the end, that's what I said to myself..

But the end was just the beginning.....

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