chapter seventeen

I’m swimming in sunlight.

jeon is holding open a door that leads directly outside and I’m so

unprepared for the experience I can hardly see straight. He grips my elbow to

steady my path and I glance back at him.

“We’re going outside.” I say it because I have to say it out loud. Because the

outside world is a treat I’m so seldom offered. Because I don’t know if jeon is

trying to be nice again. I look from him to what looks like a concrete courtyard

and back to him again. “What are we doing outside?”

“We have some business to take care of.” He tugs me toward the center of

this new universe and I’m breaking away from him, reaching out to touch the

sky like I’m hoping it will remember me. The clouds are gray like they’ve

always been, but they’re sparse and unassuming. The sun is high high high,

lounging against a backdrop propping up its rays and redirecting its warmth in

our general direction. I stand on tiptoe and try to touch it. The wind folds itself

into my arms and smiles against my skin. Cool, silky-smooth air braids a soft

breeze through my hair. This square courtyard could be my ballroom.

I want to dance with the elements.

jeon grabs my hand. I turn around.

He’s smiling.

“This,” he says, gesturing to the cold gray world under our feet, “this makes

you happy?”

I look around. I realize the courtyard is not quite a roof, but somewhere

between two buildings. I edge toward the ledge and can see dead land and naked

trees and scattered compounds stretching on for miles. “Cold air smells so

clean,” I tell him. “Fresh. Brand-new. It’s the most wonderful smell in the

world.”

His eyes look amused, troubled, interested, and confused all at once. He

shakes his head. Pats down his jacket and reaches for an inside pocket. He pulls

out a gun with a gold hilt that glints in the sunlight.

I pull in a sharp breath.

He inspects the gun in a way I wouldn’t understand, presumably to check whether or not it’s ready to fire. He slips it into his hand, his finger poised

directly over the trigger. He turns and finally reads the expression on my face.

He almost laughs. “Don’t worry. It’s not for you.”

“Why do you have a gun?” I swallow, hard, gripping my arms tight across

my chest. “What are we doing up here?”

jeon slips the gun back into his pocket and walks to the opposite end of

the ledge. He motions for me to follow him. I creep closer. Follow his eyes. Peer

over the barrier.

Every soldier in the building is standing not 15 feet below.

I distinguish almost 50 lines, each perfectly straight, perfectly spaced, so

many soldiers standing single file I lose count. I wonder if jimin is in the crowd.

I wonder if he can see me.

I wonder what he thinks of me now.

The soldiers are standing in a square space almost identical to the one

jeon and I occupy, but they’re one organized mass of black: black pants,

black shirts, shin-high black boots; not a single gun in sight. Each is standing

with his left fist pressed to his heart. Frozen in place.

Black and gray

And

Black and gray

And

Black and gray

And

bleak.

Suddenly I’m acutely aware of my impractical outfit. Suddenly the wind is

too callous, too cold, too painful as it slices its way through the crowd. I shiver

and it has nothing to do with the temperature. I look for jeon but he has

already taken his place at the edge of the courtyard; it’s obvious he’s done this

many times before. He pulls a small square of perforated metal out of his pocket

and presses it to his lips; when he speaks, his voice carries over the crowd like

it’s been amplified.

“Sector 45.”

One word. One number.

The entire group shifts: left fists released, dropped to their sides; right fists

planted in place on their chests. They are an oiled machine, working in perfect

collaboration with one another. If I weren’t so apprehensive I think I’d be

impressed.

“We have two matters to deal with this morning.” jungkook’s voice penetrates

the atmosphere: crisp, clear, unbearably confident. “The first is standing by my

side.”

Thousands of eyes snap up in my direction. I feel myself flinch.

“taehyung, come here, please.” 2 fingers bend in 2 places to beckon me

forward.

I inch into view.

jeon slips his arm around me. I cringe. The crowd starts. My heart careens

out of control. I’m too scared to back away from him. His gun is too close to my

body.

The soldiers seem stunned that jeon is willing to touch me.

“Jenkins, would you step forward, please?”

My fingers are running a marathon down my thigh. I can’t stand still. I can’t

calm the palpitations crashing my nervous system. Jenkins steps out of line; I

spot him immediately.

He’s okay.

Dear God.

He’s okay.

“Jenkins had the pleasure of meeting taehyung just last night,” he continues.

The tension among the men is very nearly tangible. No one, it seems, knows

where this speech is headed. And no one, it seems, hasn’t already heard Jenkins’

story. My story. “I hope you’ll all greet him with the same sort of kindness,"

jeon. adds, his lips laughing without a sound. “he will be with us for some

time, and will be a very valuable asset to our efforts. The Reestablishment

welcomes him. I welcome him. You should welcome him.”

The soldiers drop their fists all at once, all at exactly the same time.

They shift as one, 5 steps backward, 5 steps forward, 5 steps standing in

place. They raise their left arms high and curl their fingers into a fist.

And fall on one knee.

I run to the edge, desperate to get a closer look at such a strangely

choreographed routine. I’ve never seen anything like it.

jeon makes them stay like that, bent like that, fists raised in the air like

that. He doesn’t speak for at least 30 seconds. And then he does.

“Good.”

The soldiers rise and rest their right fists on their chests again.

“The second matter at hand is even more pleasant than the first,” jungkook

continues, though he seems to take no pleasure in saying it. His eyes are

sharpening over the soldiers below, shards of emerald flickering like green

flames over their bodies. “Delalieu has a report for us.”

He spends an eternity simply staring at the soldiers, letting his few words

marinate in their minds. Letting their own imaginations drive them insane.

Letting the guilty among them tremble in anguish.

jeon says nothing for so long.

No one moves for so long.

I begin to fear for my life despite his earlier reassurances. I begin to wonder

if perhaps I am the guilty one. If perhaps the gun in his pocket is destined for

me. I finally dare to turn in his direction. He glances at me for the first time and I

have no idea how to read him.

His face is 10,000 possibilities staring straight through me.

“Delalieu,” he says, still looking at me. “You may step forward.”

A thin, balding sort of man in a slightly more decorated outfit steps out from

the very front of the fifth line. He doesn’t look entirely stable. He ducks his head

an inch. His voice warbles when he speaks. “Sir.”

jeon finally unshackles my eyes and nods, almost imperceptibly, in the

balding man’s direction.

Delalieu recites: “We have a charge against Private 45B-76423. felix,

Seamus.”

The soldiers are all frozen in line, frozen in relief, frozen in fear, frozen in

anxiety. Nothing moves. Nothing breathes. Even the wind is afraid to make a

Sound.

“felix.” One word from jeon and several hundred necks snap in the

same direction.

felix steps out of line.

He looks like a gingerbread man. Ginger hair. Ginger freckles. Lips almost

artificially red. His face is blank of every possible emotion.

I’ve never been more afraid for a stranger in my life.

Delalieu speaks again. “Private felix was found on unregulated grounds,

fraternizing with civilians believed to be rebel party members. He had stolen

food and supplies from storage units dedicated to Sector 45 citizens. It is not

known whether he betrayed sensitive information.”

jeon levels his gaze at the gingerbread man. “Do you deny these

accusations, soldier?”

felix’s nostrils flare. His jaw tenses. His voice cracks when he speaks.

“No, sir.”

jeon nods. Takes a short breath. Licks his lips.

And shoots him in the forehead.

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***