Chap 1

The night wrapped around Seoul like a velvet cloak, its embrace devoid of moonlight, casting the city into deeper shadows.

On the balcony of his apartment, Taehyung slouched against the railing, a half-empty bottle of soju clutched in one hand and a cigarette dangling lazily between his fingers.

His movements were sluggish, his thoughts clouded by the haze of alcohol and nicotine. Taehyung took a long drag from his cigarette, the ember glowing bright against the backdrop of the city lights, before exhaling a cloud of smoke into the cool night air.

"It's been six months," Taehyung murmured to himself, the words heavy with the weight of time and longing. Each day seemed to stretch on endlessly, a relentless cycle of waking up with a throbbing headache, dragging himself through work, and returning home to the same routine of eating, drinking, and smoking.

And all the while, trapped within his thoughts, Taehyung endlessly questioned himself, his decisions, and his very existence, consumed by regret and plagued by unanswerable 'what-ifs'.

What if he had never considered the thought of selling his bike? What if he had found the courage to express himself more clearly? Each hypothetical scenario tormented him, driving him deeper into the abyss of despair.

A sudden cold breeze cutting through the night air jolted Taehyung into a semblance of awareness. His grip tightened on the bottle of soju. The remaining contents burned his throat as he gulped it down in one desperate swig.

Then, as if in slow motion, the glass slipped from his fingers, crashing to the floor with a shattering echo that mirrored the fragments of his shattered thoughts.

His heart ached with the weight of numbness and denial as the realization of their broken relationship hit Taehyung like a tidal wave.

Despite the passage of six long months, the wound still felt raw and gaping, the pain refusing to diminish. Tears finally spilled from his eyes, a testament to the agony he had been suppressing for so long, and the pain felt all too real.

For half a year, Taehyung had clung to the faint hope that Jungkook would reach out and that they would reconcile, but it never happened. His phone had been his constant companion, a lifeline to the possibility of reconciliation. But today, as he left it behind in his office, a sense of finality washed over him.

As Taehyung walked back into his apartment, an eerie clarity swept over him. The absence of his phone felt freeing in a way as if he were finally unshackled from the hope of reconciliation.

In the dim light of his bedroom, he searched for a new pack of cigarettes. Finding one tucked away in a drawer, he retrieved it, fingers trembling slightly, as he lit a cigarette. The ember glowed softly, a tiny beacon of comfort in the room.

Lying back on his bed, Taehyung allowed himself to drift back into memories of the past. He recalled the first time he laid eyes on Jungkook.

Looking at him, the first word that came out of his mouth was 'cute'. He remembered losing to the very same cute boy and teasing him about it. That was the start of their banterful rivalry, which lasted a year.

But what stood out the most in his mind was the night they ended up in jail, caught by the police raiding the illegal racing circuit. Taehyung still remembered the feeling of frustration as Jungkook blamed him for their predicament, despite all other bikers managing to escape.

Taehyung's frustration intensified as Jungkook's accusations echoed in his mind. He sat up abruptly, his hands reaching for the bottle of soju that rested on the bedside table. With a sharp twist, he uncapped it and took a long, deep swig, the fiery liquid burning a path down his throat.

"Why did you choose a different route from everyone else?" Jungkook's words reverberated in his head, each syllable like a dagger stabbing at his conscience. Taehyung could still feel the weight of Jungkook's blame, the bitterness of it lingering on his tongue like the taste of alcohol.

"Why did you follow me, Jungkook?" Taehyung's voice lingered in the dimly lit cell, the question hanging in the air like an unspoken accusation. Taehyung looked at Jungkook, searching for answers in the depths of his eyes.

Jungkook met his gaze, his expression a blend of defiance and frustration. "Why does it matter to you?" he snapped back, his tone tinged with irritation. "You think I wanted to be stuck in this mess with you?"

Taehyung's lips tightened into a thin line, his eyes flashing with anger. "Stop dodging the question, Jungkook," he snapped, his voice sharp with irritation.

Jungkook's jaw clenched, his hand shooting out to grab Taehyung's collar tightly. "You think this is easy for me?" he growled, his frustration palpable. "You want the truth? Fine. The truth is, I don't know what I feel, alright?"

He stared into Taehyung's eyes, his voice strained. "I followed you without even knowing why, Taehyung," he admitted, his tone laced with uncertainty. "It was as if I acted impulsively, without thinking."

Taehyung stood frozen, his mind struggling to process Jungkook's admission. Before he could respond, Jungkook's hand tightened around his collar, pushing him against the cold, rough cell wall. Their bodies pressed together, the proximity sending a jolt of electricity through Taehyung's veins.

As their eyes met, Taehyung searched for any sign of hesitation in Jungkook's intense gaze but found none. Instead, he saw only raw emotion swirling within those dark depths—a mixture of longing, frustration, and something else, something deeper that Taehyung couldn't quite name.

As Jungkook's grip loosened slightly, Taehyung's gaze flickered down to his lips, a subconscious reaction to the charged atmosphere between them. He couldn't help but feel a pang of longing, an unspoken desire stirring within him amidst the tumult of his thoughts.

In that moment, time seemed to freeze, the world around them fading into insignificance as they stood on the brink of the unknown. Taehyung's heart raced with anticipation, uncertainty mingling with the undeniable pull he felt towards Jungkook.

And then, as if guided by an invisible force, Taehyung's impulses took over, propelling him forward without a second thought.

His lips crashed against Jungkook's in a sudden, urgent kiss, while his hand instinctively reached up to grasp Jungkook's jaw, pulling him closer in an embrace.

In the timeless embrace of their kiss, Taehyung and Jungkook felt the weight of a year's worth of unspoken desire unfurling between them.

Each brush of their lips was a testament to the battles fought for the other's attention, the teasing that masked deeper emotions, and the stolen glances laden with unexpressed longing.

After that impulsive kiss, Taehyung and Jungkook found themselves locked in a moment of uncertainty. The air crackled with tension as they pulled away, their eyes meeting in a silent exchange that spoke volumes. What had just happened between them? Was it a mistake, a reckless impulse fueled by pent-up emotions, or was it something more?

Taehyung's heart hammered in his chest as he searched Jungkook's eyes for any sign of regret or discomfort. But to his surprise, he found none. Instead, he saw a flicker of something deeper, something raw and unguarded that mirrored his own feelings.

Jungkook's lips still tingled from the touch of Taehyung's, his mind reeling with the intensity of the moment. It was as if a dam had burst within him, unleashing a torrent of emotions that he had long tried to suppress.

And yet, despite the uncertainty swirling within him, there was a sense of rightness in the way Taehyung's hand lingered on his jaw, in the way their breaths mingled in the space between them.

Wordlessly, Taehyung reached out, his fingers trembling slightly as they brushed against Jungkook's cheek. It was a silent question, a plea for understanding, for confirmation that what had passed between them was real.

And in response, Jungkook leaned into the touch, his eyes closing briefly as he savored the warmth of Taehyung's hand against his skin.

There were no words needed between them, no explanations or justifications. In that moment, all that mattered was the undeniable truth of their connection, a bond that transcended words or labels.

As Taehyung sat alone in the present, the weight of the past hung heavy on his shoulders. The memory of that electrifying moment with Jungkook lingered in his mind, a bittersweet reminder of their first kiss and the initial step of their relationship.

He took a final swig from the soju bottle, feeling the familiar burn trailing down his throat, before setting it aside on the bedside table.

He switches off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness, before reclining back. He gazes at the emptiness of the ceiling, as his throbbing headache makes him dizzy. Exhaustion overcomes his tired body as he succumbs to the weight of his heavy heart, seeking solace in sleep and the oblivion it brings.

*

The first light of dawn painted the sky in hues of pink and gold as Jungkook revved his bike, the engine growling beneath him. The empty streets stretched out before him, bathed in the soft glow of the rising sun, offering a fleeting sense of serenity amidst the chaos of the waking city.

With a distracted mind, Jungkook maneuvered his bike down the familiar road that led to his gym, attempting to be as mindful as possible while riding.

For the past six months, he had relied on the bus for transportation, but today, a missed bus forced him back onto his bike after a long hiatus. But the feeling of riding the bike overwhelmed him completely.

He tried to remind himself to breathe, to reassure himself that this was his bike and that biking was as familiar to him as breathing. Yet, at that moment, drawing in the air felt as difficult as navigating through a storm.

He reached up and opened the visor of his helmet, allowing the rushing wind to caress his half-exposed face. The wind whipped at his hair, while the rhythmic purr of the engine filled his ears.

Though he tries his best to focus on the present moment, memories of carefree rides with Taehyung flood his mind, each turn and bend of the road reminds him of moments they had shared.

He clenched his jaw, attempting to push aside the ache in his chest as he rode on. Yet, despite his efforts, glimpses of the years spent with Taehyung kept resurfacing, each memory a painful reminder of their time together.

Resentment brewed within him as he recalled the heartbreaking day he ended their relationship with his own stupid mouth, as he so often does.

As he reached the intersection, his mind still ensnared by thoughts of Taehyung, he failed to notice the traffic light flicker from green to yellow. Oblivious to the warning, he pressed on, the ache in his chest growing more intense with each passing moment.

Suddenly, the blare of horns shattered his reverie, and he looked up just in time to see the car hurtling toward him. Panic surged through him, but it was too late.

The screech of brakes filled the air, followed by the sickening crunch of metal as the collision sent him flying from his bike.

In the chaos of twisted metal and shattered glass, he lay dazed on the pavement, pain coursing through his body. Reality crashed over him like a wave as he struggled to comprehend what had just happened.

The intersection, once a mundane backdrop to his thoughts, was now the scene of a life-altering moment.

As sirens wailed in the distance, drawing closer with each passing second, Jungkook's thoughts turned to Taehyung once again, like clockwork. Regret gnawed at him, a tidal wave of anguish and self-recrimination washing over his senses.

Each blaring siren seemed to echo his own inner lament, a haunting reminder of the irreversible consequences of his choices.

In the haze of pain and fading consciousness, fragments of that day played before him, vivid and relentless. Where he found himself at his worst, hurting his boyfriend without understanding his side or offering an explanation of his own.

He cried out loud in pain and misery, consumed by his own foolishness, blinded by pride and stubbornness, unable to see the truth until it was too late.

Now, as darkness crept around the edges of his consciousness, Jungkook desperately grasped at the fragments of his past, wishing for a chance to rewrite the script. But inevitability, unyielding and relentless, had already determined his fate. With a final, agonized whisper, Jungkook uttered Taehyung's name, as his regrets reverberated in the silent void that surrounded him.

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