Chapter 5: Cracks Beneath the Surface

Jamie sat at his desk, fingers running through his hair as his phone buzzed on the table. It was a message from Heather: *Had so much fun shopping with you yesterday! Let’s do it again soon. xx.*

He hesitated before replying. It had been fun, hadn’t it? Spending time with her felt strangely comforting, but the more he tried to mimic her, the more confused he became about what he wanted. Did he want to be her? Or did he want to be close to her to get closer to Chris?

*Definitely! Just let me know when,* Jamie texted back before tossing his phone aside.

A knock on his door broke his train of thought. His roommate, Luke, poked his head in. “Hey man, you good? You’ve been in here all day.”

Jamie forced a smile. “Yeah, just thinking.”

Luke stepped inside and leaned against the wall, his arms crossed. “You’ve been acting weird lately. Is this about Chris? Or… Heather?”

Jamie’s stomach twisted. He hated how obvious it was to everyone else, even when he didn’t want to admit it to himself.

“What do you mean?” Jamie asked, trying to deflect.

Luke gave him a look. “Dude, it’s like you’ve got a crush on both of them. Every time I see you, you’re either hanging out with Heather or staring at Chris like he’s the sun.”

Jamie’s face flushed with embarrassment. “That’s ridiculous. I don’t… I mean, they’re both my friends. That’s it.”

Luke shrugged, but the knowing smirk on his face said it all. “Okay, whatever you say. Just don’t dig yourself into a hole you can’t get out of.”

---

Later that evening, Jamie found himself at the local bar with Chris, who had dragged him out for “bro time.” Chris had said they needed to chill and unwind after a long week of classes, but as they sat there, Jamie couldn’t help but notice the way Chris’s attention drifted—constantly checking his phone, glancing at the door like he was waiting for someone.

“I swear, if you look at your phone one more time, I’m taking it away,” Jamie teased, trying to lighten the mood.

Chris chuckled, sliding his phone into his pocket. “Sorry, man. I guess I’ve just been distracted.”

Jamie raised an eyebrow. “By Heather?”

Chris’s smirk softened, turning into something more serious. “Yeah. She was supposed to come tonight, but she said she had some project to work on.”

Jamie took a sip of his drink, feeling a lump forming in his throat. “You guys hang out a lot.”

Chris nodded, his expression unreadable. “Yeah. She’s cool, you know? Different from other girls I’ve dated. It’s easy with her.”

Jamie bit his lip, unsure how to respond. Chris hadn’t ever talked to him like this before—about his feelings for Heather, about how much she meant to him. It hurt in ways Jamie didn’t expect, and the jealousy he thought he’d buried started bubbling up again.

“She’s pretty great,” Jamie said softly, looking down at the table. “Anyone would be lucky to have her.”

Chris gave him a sideways glance. “I guess. Sometimes, though… I wonder if she’s too perfect, you know? Like, what if she’s hiding something? No one’s that flawless.”

Jamie’s heart skipped a beat. Was Chris doubting his feelings for Heather? Was there a crack in their relationship?

“Maybe she’s just… herself. Maybe you’re overthinking it,” Jamie suggested, trying to sound nonchalant. But inside, hope flickered. Maybe, just maybe, Chris wasn’t as sure about Heather as he seemed.

Before Chris could reply, his phone buzzed again. He sighed and glanced at the screen.

“It’s Heather,” Chris said, and Jamie’s heart sank. “She’s outside. Be right back.”

As Chris left the table to meet her, Jamie slumped back in his seat, feeling a wave of frustration and confusion wash over him. Was he really going to keep pretending that everything was fine? That his feelings for Chris—and now, Heather—weren’t tearing him apart inside?

He rubbed his temples, closing his eyes. This was getting too complicated. Too messy. And yet, no matter how much it hurt, Jamie couldn’t stop.

---

The next day, Jamie was sitting in the campus café, sipping on his coffee and scrolling mindlessly through his phone when Heather slid into the seat across from him.

“Hey, stranger,” she said with a grin, brushing her hair out of her face. “I didn’t see you after the bar last night. Chris said you bailed.”

Jamie forced a smile. “Yeah, wasn’t feeling it. Figured you guys would want some time alone.”

Heather tilted her head, her eyes narrowing slightly. “Are you okay? You’ve seemed kind of distant lately.”

Jamie’s heart pounded. Did she know? Could she sense the turmoil that was tearing him apart inside?

“I’m fine,” he lied, hoping she wouldn’t press further.

But Heather didn’t seem convinced. She leaned forward, her voice softening. “Jamie… you can tell me if something’s wrong. I’m your friend, you know?”

Jamie swallowed hard, avoiding her gaze. The truth was, Heather *was* his friend. She was sweet, kind, and genuine, and the more time he spent with her, the more conflicted he became. He liked being around her. He liked the way she made him feel. But there was still a part of him that couldn’t let go of Chris.

“I’m just… trying to figure some stuff out,” Jamie said finally, his voice barely above a whisper.

Heather’s expression softened. “I get that. If you ever need to talk, I’m here. No judgment.”

Jamie nodded, feeling a lump form in his throat. She was being so kind, so understanding, and it made him feel worse. How could he explain that he was tangled up in his own feelings, torn between her and the guy she was in love with?

He looked up at her, his chest tightening. “Heather… can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

Jamie hesitated, then blurted out the question that had been gnawing at him for weeks. “What do you see in Chris?”

Heather blinked, surprised by the sudden question. “What do you mean?”

“I mean… what do you love about him?” Jamie asked, his voice trembling slightly. “Why him?”

Heather smiled softly, leaning back in her chair. “I guess… it’s the way he makes me feel. He’s always been there for me, you know? He’s kind, even when he’s being a dork. And when I’m with him, everything feels… right.”

Jamie nodded, his heart sinking. Of course, she felt that way. Chris was the perfect guy—funny, charming, supportive. It was no wonder Heather loved him. But hearing her say it out loud made everything so much harder.

“Why do you ask?” Heather’s voice was gentle, but there was a hint of curiosity in her eyes.

Jamie forced a smile. “Just… wondering.”

Heather reached across the table, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze. “You’ll figure it out, Jamie. Whatever it is, you’ll get through it.”

Jamie nodded, though deep down, he wasn’t so sure. The cracks beneath the surface were growing wider, and he didn’t know how much longer he could hold everything together.

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