Chapter Two

The next morning was the same as any other day. I got myself breakfast which consisted of a pop tart and a glass of milk. I then topped it off by running out the door eager to see what the world had to offer me in terms of new ideas and places.

I have my trusty messenger bag strapped across me and Jasper's family pictures tucked away inside safely. I don't know why I brought them, I just felt the need to and I think not knowing the reason is what bugs me the most.

I've moved on from the Cullen's so why is something that weighs barely nothing at all feel like it's weighing me down?

It's not like I don't know what Jasper looked like. I could never forget any of the Cullen's and it's not like I was ever even close to Jasper to begin with... but something about finding these pictures clouds my thoughts of anything else that I should be focusing on.

Shaking my head as if to clear it, I head on my way to explore the city.

There are a lot of horses as I make my way down the street. Apparently when Texans go out for a stroll, they don't use their legs, but horses instead. It's a means of travel here apart from the automobile.

I may be exaggerating but it seems like almost everyone I see is riding horseback.

A man on a beautiful horse tips his hat at me and continues on down the street and I can't help but smile at how wonderful this community of people is.

Spotting a a small Café, I head over to where I can smell the fresh coffee beans emitting from the window. Coffee has become my kryptonite over the years. With as many all nighters as I have due to writing, caffeine has been a godsend.

Two sugars and four spoonfuls of cream later, I'm ready to take on the writing. Taking a seat in one of the booths, I pull out a pen and a piece of paper from my bag. I begin to jot down some ideas that struck me on my way over here...besides the obvious drama that is my life at the moment.

Lonely girl in city.

Vampires.

Southern boys.

Horses.

Something like 'National Treasure'.

I laugh at the last one and crumple up the paper up into a tiny ball. I toss it into a nearby trash can and rest my head on the table in irritation. I bang my head once, then twice. Writer's block will surely be the death of me.

"Rough day, lil' lady? It's only morning'."

I look up to see a real life cowboy standing before me. He's probably in his early fifties but his grey eyes show a young man at heart. He has a ten gallon hat with matching boots and you can't forget about those spikes on the ankle of the boot. Yeah, he's a cowboy alright. I try not to laugh and give a small smile.

"Yeah, I'm starting the day early with frustration," I tell him.

"I see. You mind if I take a seat for a moment?"

"No, go right ahead." I gesture for him to sit across from me and when he does, he gives me a big smile.

"You have pale skin and no accent," he deadpans. "Where you from?"

I laugh. Am I that obvious?Shouldn't I get your name first?" I ask instead.

"Pardon me, mam. My name is Carl and I own a ranch outside of town. You are?"

"Bella from Washington."

"Nice to meet you. So, what brings you down here? You seem pretty stressed."

"I'm currently writing a book so I decided to do some traveling," I say as I take a sip of my coffee.

"A writer?" he asks perplexed. He obviously wasn't expecting that. "I would have pegged you as a college student. Awfully young aren't ya?"

"Twenty, but my parents always said I was born thirty. I'm a little ahead of the game." I joke.

He laughs and slaps his knee. "You're a funny lil thing. What're you writing about?"

"I don't know actually. I've already written a couple books but now… I'm stuck; really stuck." I groan.

"I'm sure something will come to you. A lot of things can happen in Texas. If you can't find inspiration here, I don't know where else you can."

"I'm hoping." I sigh.

"What do you want to write about?"

"Don't know. I mean I'm good at romance so…"

"I see." He smiles and his eyes have a twinkle in them. "Southern gentlemen, Cowboys and Indians… yeah, I think you came to the right place. Texas has romance and lots of it. I have been married to my wife since I was seventeen. I'm fifty one, now. I grew up in a little town in Ohio but there wasn't any work so my Pa moved me and my Momma down here. A week later, I met the rest of my life."

I almost tear up at his little story. "That was very beautiful, Carl."

I can only hope true love will be like that for me one day.

"It is. I've never been happier. Have you ever been in love, Bella?"

"Oh yeah. A long time ago, though."

"What?!" he exclaims. "A long time ago? You're only twenty."

If he only knew. I've had enough romance to last me a lifetime. People could be jealous of how good it was while it lasted. Edward and I shared such a tragic love story but a beautiful one even if it was short lived.

Humans will never get to experience what I did and I almost wish people knew that Vampires existed so they could know that soul mates are real. Humans go through life always wondering if someone is out there for them; always waiting for the right person to come along and sometimes those people still end up alone at the end. Edward and I weren't soul mates but that doesn't mean that we still don't deserve a happy ending.

"Bella?"

I snap back to the present and shake my head.

"Oh, sorry," I laugh. "Just thinking. Um…so yeah… I'm young but I was in love but it seems like forever ago. I was seventeen and things got complicated and I think he got scared… I don't know… I'll never know…

One day he decided he didn't love me anymore. But I really do think he just panicked and left. Things were so… complex for only being seventeen years old. No one should ever have to deal with the problems we went through, let alone the heartbreak that followed."

It's true. People could be jealous of the epic love story that I wrote about, but I wouldn't wish the wrath of crazy Vampires hunting them down, not even on my worst enemy."I agree," he nods. "Nobody should ever have to deal with heartbreak but it's a part of life…no matter who the person is. It just is. Now, I don't know the details but he was stupid for leaving. You're a very beautiful girl. I'm sure you will be the one breaking hearts in no time."

"Thanks, Carl," I smile softly at him and feel a lot better after venting. He kind of reminds me of Charlie in a way; always understanding with no questions asked.

"You're welcome. I got to go now, but take it easy and let the writing come to you okay? Life shouldn't be so complicated. Never let it get that way."

"I'll try." I smile.

"Remember Bella; you're a writer… you can create any story for yourself." He pats my hand and walks out.

One thing for sure is; Texas is weird, but maybe Carl will be part of that inspiration that I so desperately need.

I finish drinking my coffee and head out onto the streets of Houston.

…

My thoughts wander back to the Cullen's. I can't believe I told a complete stranger about Edward and me. Not like I disclosed any important information about them but still… you'd think I wouldn't confide in someone, let alone a cowboy in the middle of a coffee shop in Texas.

It was all very true, though. I do believe that Edward got scared and freaked out. Something about his morals or my being human had to of set him off. I don't blame Jasper but Edward had a way of always thinking the worst. I wish I could've read his mind in that moment when he finally looked at me on my birthday; after the glass cut open my arm and I sat there bleeding. I'd give anything to see how the wheels were spinning in that head of his and know if that was the moment he decided to leave me.

I don't believe that he didn't love me at all. Despite what he said to me in the forest, he had to have cared for me somehow. After everything we'd been through and him and his family protecting me from the ever sadistic James… If he didn't care for me at all, he wouldn't have sacrificed so much for us; for me.

I see it now. I didn't then…not at the time. All I kept hearing was that he didn't want me and feeling this sense of abandonment after he promised me forever.

After he left, I often asked myself if it was all a game. I considered the idea that he was just intrigued by me because he couldn't read my mind. Had I only been a game for the god like vampire? Surely Jasper would have known by sensing his emotions.

Did he rehearse those lines for hours or was he really trying to kill me with his words?

I had to stop thinking those thoughts or I wouldn't have been able to move on.

Looking back now with a different sense of mind, I think I should have expected it. He was always keeping me at arms length, never fully giving in to anything. He sacrificed so much but was still always afraid of the unknown… and that's saying a lot considering he could read minds and his sister could see the future. I think that's why he fled the way he did… he didn't want more things to spiral out of his control. He didn't know what was coming.

Was he protecting me?

In his weird and crazy way, did he feel he had to leave for my own good?

Was Jasper the last straw for him?

I'll never know.

There will always be doubt without any answers.

Coming to Texas and finding those pictures of Jasper and his family, brings up all these locked away memories that I planned to never have resurface again.

Things are so confusing. I shouldn't even be thinking about these things anymore. I should never have gone on that tour to Jasper's stupid house. Better yet, I probably shouldn't have even come to stupid Texas in the first place.

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