Episode 2

Lidia.

Damn it. Why am I crying? Seeing him was harder than I imagined. I left my hometown never to see him again, yet he kept appearing, he still appears. His eyes still look at me with that disapproval they always had for me.

But who in my entire life has seen me differently? My parents always prefer Layla, the sweet Layla who doesn't break a dish. The most outstanding student, the enthusiastic polyglot, the popular one, the good one at sports. The princess of perfectionism.

And what was I next to her?

The imperfect twin.

The one who doesn't know more than two languages, the one who had terrible grades, the one who spent her days stalking a man, whom she should never have fantasized about.

"You will never be anything."

"Your paintings will never cost more than two pesos."

That's what my parents used to tell me. I cried as I remembered how cruel they were to me.

They unfairly accused me of wanting to kill my sister's baby. In revenge, they burned years of work, burned my dreams. Burned my effort. Burned my kind self.

Flashback.

The employees took out all my paintings and put them in the garden. Two maids held my arms while my paintings were reduced to ashes.

I don't remember crying so much in my entire life. Not even when my Nana died. The only person who truly loved me.

Do you know the phrase, "pain makes you stronger?"

After my Nana's death, it wasn't like that. I crumbled. I had lost the only decent human I knew. I was alone at her funeral, she had no family, my parents didn't care that she had worked for more than twenty years in their house, not even my sister went, nobody was with me on that sad day. In my heart, I had hoped to see Luke, maybe I was a nuisance to him, but my Nana always treated him well. Why didn't he even bother to send a bouquet of flowers? I found him at home when I returned, I naively thought he had gone to offer his condolences.

"Luke." I hugged the man colder than an iceberg. He didn't pity my pain. He pushed me aside.

"Don't touch me. You are a real nuisance."

"Don't be hard on me." My eyes kept shedding tears. "Today I won't be able to bear your contempt. Just for today be gentle, my Nana..."

"Don't try to make me feel sorry for you. I'm annoyed by girls like you. Always trying to get attention. Get over it and move on. Leave me alone." I was naive to think he came to offer his condolences, to support me, to comfort me. He came for other reasons, but what were those reasons? I found out a few days later, he and my sister were in a relationship.

My sister was dating the man I had loved since I was seven years old. How? When did that start? Did they always like each other and I never realized it? I didn't know.

She apologized to me. But why would she? What right did I have to receive an apology?

Luke chose her. Everyone chose her. Why would I be surprised? I don't know. Maybe it was because she never did anything to earn his affection. Maybe because she was my blessed sister and had to help me instead of seducing the man I loved.

"You have all the boys at school in love with you. Why did you have to accept him?" Everything in me was breaking. I couldn't deal with this too.

"I like Luke."

"Luke likes the whole fucking school!" I screamed frustrated. "I thought you didn't like him, you were pretending all the time. You pretended to support me when you actually wanted him for yourself. What you did has no justification."

I locked myself in my studio, the brushes in my hands didn't move. The painting in front of me was empty for weeks. I couldn't paint, the pain was killing me slower than a poison.

I slept in my studio, bathed, ate, and dined in it. That was my safe place. One day I decided to go out. The lack of sunlight was hurting me. I saw it in my mirror.

I wish I hadn't crossed the door, I wish my future self had stopped me, everything had been quiet in the house, nobody bothered me, I think they had forgotten that I existed.

I just wanted to sunbathe and have some lemonade.

"Finally, you come out of your cave." Layla said when she saw me. I ignored her and took my glass. "Give me some?"

"Serve yourself." She snatched my glass. In a matter of minutes, she started to feel bad. My mother called an ambulance and they took her to the hospital. Maybe I was a traitor, but she was still my sister, I was worried about her. I waited for Mom to come back.

"What happened? How is Layla?" I received a strong slap. "What's wrong with you?" She had never hit me, scolded and yelled at me yes, no matter how angry she was, I never received a blow from my parents.

"How could you? Are you so jealous of her?"

"I don't understand what you're talking about." Luke joined, his eyes had fire, it seemed he wanted to kill someone, it was me, I didn't have to be very smart to deduce it. "What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?" The situation was confusing.

"If something happens to Layla, or to my son, you will spend the rest of your days in jail."

"Layla is pregnant?" One more blow to my little heart. That's how serious their relationship had become. Had they already had sex? It was obvious that yes, she didn't get pregnant from the holy spirit. I imagined them both in bed and I felt like vomiting, my sister and the man I loved for years had intimacy, I bet he was the first, because she hadn't had a boyfriend.

"Don't pretend you don't know." Luke grabbed me by the shoulders. He put so much pressure on them that he almost broke them.

"You're hurting me. Let me go."

"I warn you Lydia. My baby won't be the only one to die."

I couldn't understand anything. Why were they blaming me? What was I supposed to have done to the princess of perfection?

... I was in my studio asking God for a sign.

"Will my parents never love me? Tell me. Why do they love my sister and not me? Why if we are twins?" God, please save her baby. I don't want to go to jail." I knew Luke very well, if he set his mind to it, I could spend the rest of my life in that place, his family was the most powerful in the country, a snap of his fingers and my life would be ruined forever. "God save her baby. Please. And let me be happy. Let me find my purpose in life." Being on my knees, praying, I heard how the door of my studio was broken. My father entered and gave a clear order.

"Take everything out."

"Dad, what are you doing?"

"You no longer have a father. I was wrong to have you."

"Dad." His hand went to my cheek. That one had hurt more than my mother's. He used to be cold with me, but from time to time I noticed a certain warmth in his eyes. Unlike my mother who only looked at me with disapproval.

"From today, you are no longer my daughter. No more privileges for you, miss." The pain didn't matter to me. Seeing him take my favorite painting, I only wanted to know one thing.

"Where are you taking my paintings?"

"Where they belong." I didn't understand. I chased the men to realize the hell that was in the garden. My first painting, the one I painted at three years old, and the last one from a year ago became ashes. Only my Nana's was left with me, it was the most important, my favorite, the most valuable, I still remembered the day I did it, she was watching me and congratulating me for how beautiful I painted.

"Please don't burn that one. Dad, please." The tears didn't stop falling. My eyes looked like clouds in precipitation. "Let me keep it. Just that one, Dad. I beg you." I saw Luke in a corner. "Luke, please. Tell him not to do it." I begged. He saw me as if he was enjoying my pain. My dad made a gesture with his hand, one of those men threw it into the living fire. "NO!" I screamed full of pain while I saw burn the last memory of the person I loved, and who loved me back.

"Your pain doesn't compare to what Layla is suffering." Listening to her name moved something inside me. Something that had been growing over the years. Envy, resentment, rage, pain, hatred. Until that day I knew that I had all those emotions stuck in my chest, I repressed them for years, thinking that one day everyone would love me as they loved her, but seeing my work burn was the straw that broke the camel's back.

"She's the only one you care about." Being on my knees, I raised my head, I saw him with so much hatred that for a moment I felt I managed to intimidate him. I stood up, made the maids let go of me. I dried my tears, adjusted my clothes, and cleared my voice. "I just lost years of work, years of effort, but I plan to recover them. I will make more beautiful paintings that will be sold in millions." I looked at him with a determination that I didn't know existed in me. "You didn't burn my dreams. You burned me. You just lost your daughter. And engrave this well." I separated my damned tears. "You will never get me back." I smiled. "You don't give up on me. I give up on you. On my mother. And this whole damn family." His hand rose again to hit me. I don't know where I got the strength, but I managed to hold his arm. "No." I pushed him. "Never in your life will you put a hand on me again." I turned my gaze to Luke. "I gave you a love that no one will ever give you. You despised it for a long decade. So never expect anything from me. Never cross my path. You are no longer anything in my life, you mean nothing. I hate you all." I turned my back and ran, ran with all the strength I had left.

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