The warm fall air brushed a strand of hair off my shoulder. I was waiting outside, sitting with my knees to my chest on the small porch. There was no way Lorenzo wasn't gonna bring up how distant I have been so I've spent the last 10 minutes thinking of a good excuse. The sun was setting, sunsets are like joy in the heart of sorrow. I heard a car up our gravel neighborhood. Taking one last deep breath I buried my head into my knees.
A car rolled into our driveway and I stood up with a “plastic” smile. The front window rolled down and Lorenzo’s mom was in the passenger seat.
“Hey honey!” she reached her hand out for mine.
“Hey, Mrs. Callahan.” I grabbed her hand and she gave mine a light squeeze.
“I heard you've been a little distant, are you alright?” She smiles at me. I glare at Lorenzo and maintain my smile. His eyes are on the steering wheel, he knew I was looking at him.
“I'm great, just a little busy lately.”
“Oh, okay well yall have fun at the movies!” she says. Lorenzo gets out of the front and I wait for his mom to go to the front seat. Instead, the back opens and Lorenzo’s older brother gets out. I keep my eyes on the ground and watch as his feet move in front of me.
“Been busy?” he spoke. I didn't look up. He crouched down to my face with a smile.
“Shut up, Broy,” I said, turning away. He laughed and walked past Lorenzo checking into his shoulder.
“You guys have fun.” Broy got in the front. Lorenzo and I watch him pull out of the driveway. Once the dust cloud kicked up and cleared off the dirt road Lorenzo came and hugged me tightly, he smelled like Eau Fraiche perfume, cheap.
“I missed you.” he pulled away. I don't like physical touch at all. Or at least not from him.
“Sorry, Lorenzo.” we stand in silence, a second later my mom sticks her head out the door.
“Hey! Are you guys ready?”
“Yeah!” Lorenzo answers. My sister and David walk out behind my mom.
“Hey Lorenzo,” my sister said and David did a stupid handshake with him.
“Yo David!” he answered.
“wow not even gonna answer me.” khloe laughed and got in the car. David followed behind and Lorenzo held open the door for me. Khloe was in the front, I turned to Lorenzo and motioned my hand so he would go in the middle. Lorenzo let out a sigh and got in.
“What movie are we watching?” Lorenzo asked David.
“hell, I don't know” David stared at his phone. Lorenzo turned back to me and wrapped his arm around me. I don’t want him touching me. I scooted closer to the window and he removed his arm. I could tell he was looking at me for a few seconds before turning around to David again. The boys continued a conversation with Khloe occasionally adding in, and I just stayed quiet.
“Okay you guys have fun i'm going to go to the cafe down the street, be smart.” my mom said as she pulled the car to the side of a curb. We all got out.
“Thanks, Miss Brye,” David said.
“You're welcome y'all, enjoy.” and with that, my mom drove off. I was stuck with my stressful sister, her obnoxious boyfriend, and mine. Take a breath, Mariana.
Breath in for 5 seconds,
Hold for 7,
And release the air.
Lorenzo grabbed my hand, a little harshly. I don't blame him. I would be annoyed if my girlfriend was acting distant too, at least I had a reason. We walked inside the big movie theater, it was very nice and expensive, thanks Mom. Khloe went to the counter with Lorenzo and got the tickets while I and David got the snacks.
“You make it obvious,” David said as we waited at the counter for our slushies.
“What?”
“Don't make yourself suffer.” he put his elbow on the counter and rested his hand on the side of his face. “If you don't wanna be with him just tell him.” of course. I knew I was being obvious.
“Don't tell me what to do David, I have a healthy relationship. I choose how to deal with it.” I put my phone in my purse.
“Whatever you say,” he laughed.
“Here are the slushies.” The server broke up the conversation, thank God. “one cherry, one orange, and two blue raspberries.”
I looked up at the server. For a second I felt my heart ache. could my day get any worse, yes it just did. I was completely frozen. The server was someone I knew, Alejandro.
Breathe in for 5 seconds,
Hold for 7,
And release the air.
We both stared at each other for a second. His chocolate eyes were shaking, staring me down, mine were probably too. I can't do this right now.
“Uhm thank you…” David said observing us and taking the slushies from his hand. We both looked away, I just needed a hug from him. Please say something to me, Alejandro. It would be so wrong of me to hug another guy while I was on a date. Lorenzo’s jealousy issues probably wouldn't help the situation either.
“yeah um, you guys enjoy the show.” he locked eyes with me again, a small smile on his face formed. He knew who I was. I wanted to drop to my knees crying. David pulled my arm and I followed him back to Khloe and Lorenzo, chatting it up. I stared at the ground trying to put together what just happened. I felt Lorenzo’s arm wrap around me as we walked to our movie. Before we turned the corner I looked at Alejandro one last time, and he was looking right back. It was probably best if he never said anything to me.
Once we got to our seats we divided up our drinks and popcorn. Lorenzo was very close to me so I put the popcorn in between us. He kept his arm around me anyway. I need to break up with him. I need to be hugged, I need to be alone, I wanna feel okay, I wanna die.
What? I don't wanna die, why did I think that? Just ignore it.
I tilted my head up and he was staring right at me with a smile, a little creepy. I smiled back, and he started to lean in and pursed his lips.
No. Leave me alone. Please dear God if you make me kiss this bitch I will throw up, cry, and run away. At least one of those. I put my hand over his mouth gently and let out a sigh.
“Lorenzo, I don't feel good. Can we just watch the movie please?”
He paused and pulled my hand away slowly.
“No, I get it, just tell the truth damn.”
“I did tell you the trust, what?” I looked at him confused as the lights dimmed and the movie began.
“Whatever whore.”
It was silent. And by silent I mean me, I had to have heard him wrong.
“Excuse me?” I turned to face him directly. He ignored my eyes and stared at the screen like a little bitch. “The FUCK did you just call me?” When those words left my mouth Lorenzo, David, and Khloe were all looking my way. Lorenzo saw them staring and let out a fake laugh.
“Hah. Okay shh, Mariana the movie started.” he turned to them and smiled then when the other two turned away he pulled my left arm forward and squeezed my wrist tightly, with his thumb digging in my pulse point. I winced in pain. “I called you a whore since you just don't wanna be affection all of a sudden like I did something so shut up and be good for once.”
“Sorry.” fuck this is just what I needed, I just had to start something. If I had just sucked it up and kissed him this would have never happened. His words went right threw one ear and out the other, my eyes were swelling up with tears the tighter his grip got. I tugged at my arm and bit my lip trying to tolerate his fingers pressing on an unhealed cut I had gotten from a cooking accident the other day.
I put my other hand on the side of his face and kissed him, when I closed my eyes tears dropped down to my face. The second he released I pulled away and pushed myself away from him. He let out a mediocre laugh and put his hand on my leg. I'm going to throw up. My wrist ached, I pulled my sleeve down and stared at the irritation around my cut.
I casually pulled up my sleeve and wiped my mouth on the shoulder of my hoodie. This was gonna be a long movie.
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