EMPTINESS OF YOUR PRESENCE

So he let me go!...I don't know if I should regret or be glad for a huge life lesson.

June 2022 was your last visit to me, after that day you didn't came to meet me properly i wondered why???

I didn't thought about it much because life was going great!.......maybe i thought

It been one year since you last visited and after that i came back to my life where everything was amazing for me, i had good healthy happy relationship, amazing freinds, fun times with them, family was getting better too , studies...oh yeah that was indeed great too i thought everything is now in place! Maybe in future everything will be like how i wanted

i was wrong

Sometimes you have to fall very hard to know there's ground too beneath you, don't get lost flying too High in sky.and that's what happened to me.....

I often used to wonder about you, where you have gone? Why did you stop coming in our unreal world?who are you? Why did you come in my dream earlier? what's the purpose and connection i always feel?......and so on.

until you started coming & giving me a glance of you just for second... but never properly met me.

It wasn't enough those back of you and just a second of glance wasn't enough i wanted to run to you, hug so deep, so our souls could again hold each other but for some reason i couldn't move that time

And...then,

I often found myself standing alone again in those places where we met...in dreams in memories

wondering if you will come..

But you didn't... YOU DIDN'T.

I was feeling your absence but my happy surrounding distracted me too much to notice and grief over your absence until...after a year you came!

I felt like sinner that time, whole year when you didn't used to come

you know why?

Because i was happy,

but you weren't with me then why i was still feeling you

why i was trying to find you every where i go

when i didn't even knew if you existed in real life

The more thought i felt like sinner while thinking was i had someone already i love then why?WHY i am still thinking about you when you are just my.....maybe imagination or idk

I wanted to hold onto you but there's many things pulled in drowing in....i tried to told my partner that time(ex) about you but he dismissed so i rather shut my lips about you thinking,"yeah i am thinking too much , it's all unreal" until your every single words you said in dream started getting true again & again.....

And i realised there's reason behind everything..maybe it's coincidence for someone

Or stupidity

Maybe for someone it's fate or destiny

But for me it was your "Light".

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