PROLOGUE.

Well, looks like I'm pretty content with my life, being a hikikimori, but hell, yeah, still got fucking dreams and ambitions in life no matter how that may seem.

Thing is, even being like this, I wanna do stuff, experience different crap in life.

Problem is, I don't know how the heck to start.

I'm Naoya Munō, 27 years old, and a freaking retard.

Yeah, useless, failure, piece of shit, trashy crap!

Does anybody care about me?

Ha! Moron! Of course, nothing!

But I wasn't like this before; in fact, I was really an achiever back then in my elementary years.

But what the hell happened?

I don't know, all I know is that it's all my parents' fault, and, yeah, I blame my parents for why my life turned out like this.

Because all I know, it all started when my parents decided to keep on changing places and moving around.

Why?

Well, obviously to run away from their fucking debts. Yeah, we were buried in debt, so we had to keep changing places and moving around to avoid the people they owed money!

Because of that, I don't have permanent friends.

Is it sad? Hmm.. Not really.

What else could I do? Of course, as time went by, my interest slowly faded from studying.

Who the hell would like to study in different schools?

Every time you transfer, you don't know anyone.

Since you're a neophyte, sometimes, no matter how hard you deny it, you can't avoid being freaking bullied, right?

Up until one point where I decided to just stop and wallow inside the house.

Well, back then, my parents borrowed a shitload of money again.

From where? Oh, from new people!

So we had this small business; thank God it's still keeping us alive.

And since then, I've gradually lost interest in life.

I'm still surviving even if all I do is jerk off every fucking day.

In fact,

My parents actually want to kick me out, but damn, I am such a shameless person.

And hell, where would I go if I run away?

I don't want to beg in the streets, fucking no.

And by the way!

This is the 10th anniversary, since my last bath and tooth-brushing my teeth.

Gross?

What the fuck do you care?! This is my life, and being in this condition doesn't bother me!

My life had become something that is centered around watching TV series.

Yeah, got addicted since I'd watched The Walking Dead.

I mean, God knows why the hell I am so fascinated with walking corpses.

It's so satisfying, especially the scene where Negan crushed Glenn's head.

Damn!

And of course, whenever I get tired of watching TV series full of zombies, I watch anime.

I'm a fan of Rimuru! It must be so fucking awesome to be a slime with overpowered skills!"

Damn!

But he has a pretty big problem: he probably doesn't have a dick, so he can't fuck his giant-titted secretary.

Haha!

Oh, and speaking of giant tits, how could I ever forget to open Pornhub?

That is probably my favorite pornsite since I'm into Russian and American shit.

Yeah!

PINK NIPPLES SUPREMACY!

HAHA!

In fact, one of my dreams is to be able to fuck at least one of them someday.

Especially CANDY LOVE!

Damn!

Even if you can't see her face, just her tits alone will make you cum!

Those tits are fucking perfect!

My dick can cry twice even if I only watch one of her videos.

HAHA!

And because of that hobby, I'm always fucking sleep-deprived!

So here I am, dealing with insomnia.

It's already 5am, but I still can't fucking sleep.

What the fuck is this life?

It feels so fucking boring and monotonous!

Wait, why the fuck am I talking to myself again?

I'm starting to freak out,

I better go to sleep.

-------

In a turn of events no one could've predicted, Naoya died while sleeping.

Next thing he knows, he gets reincarnated into some unknown realm as a Mimic.

Yup, he's now a creature who could change its looks to replicate objects or other creatures. This shape-shifting gig makes him versatile as hell and totally unpredictable.

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