Shot Of Tears

Tell me, am I ever gonna feel again?

Tell me, am I ever gonna heal again?

Got a shot glass full of tears

Drink, drink, drink, say "Cheers"

I got all these diamonds running down my face

And I ain't letting any of 'em go to waste

Got a shot glass full of tears He the life of the party

he's got some dangerous hobbies

Like chasing after the sun

And making me fall in love

Till I'm sick to my stomach (Sick to my stomach)

Until I throw back a dozen

Until I'm driving a hundred

With my hands off the wheel

Just to see how it feels Tell me, am I ever gonna feel again?

Tell me, am I ever gonna heal again? Got a shot glass full of tears

Drink, drink, drink, say "Cheers"

I got all these diamonds running down my face And I ain't letting any of

'em go to waste

Got a shot glass full of tears

Drink, drink, drink, say "Cheers"

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(Oh-oh, oh-oh)

Drink, drink, drink, say "Cheers"

(Oh-oh, oh-oh) It's a hard pill to swallow This emotion I bottle

Need something strong for the sorrow

Something strong for the pain

So, I can wash it away

I was cold, now, I'm freezing (Cold, now, I'm freezing)

Stuck in a permanent season (Permanent season)

And we both know you're the reason (Know you're the reason)

I'm not the same as before

I don't feel anymore Tell me, am I ever gonna feel again?

Tell me, am I ever gonna heal again?

Got a shot glass full of tears

Drink, drink, drink, say "Cheers"

I got all these diamonds running down my face

And I ain't letting any of 'em go to waste

Got a shot glass full of tears

Drink, drink, drink, say "Cheers"

He stared at the beautiful couple of the night. Eunwoo and his step sister had a pleasant smile in their lips. His hands securely wrapped around her waist. Talking and laughing with everyone. Introducing everyone to his newly wedded wife with pride.

Eunwoo laughed loudly again with his friends. He pulled his wife closer to him, her hands touching his chest, he slowly kissed her forehead confessing his undying love to her. How he will love and cherish this woman in his arms.

Everyone cheered for the newly wedded while he just stared envying her.

Jungkook left the party after a while. Everyone was so im\+mersed in the party that nobody noticed him leaving.

The sight of his love with someone else didn't leave his mind. Not to add that someone being his half sister.

With sore red eyes he drive and drive without any destination. Tears falling down his eyes, he wiped it roughly. He was really not god's favorite child.

He has a good family, handsome face, great body, money, career. He was literally born with silver spoon in his mouth.

One will be envious of him.

But who knew his pain?

Who knew his suffering?

Who saw his tears?

Who asked him if he was okay?

Did someone?

Nobody asked if it was hectic to take over the company in this young age.

Nobody cared if he ate on time.

Nobody asked why he came home late.

Nobody asked him who broke his heart.

Nobody cared how much he cried alone in the room.

Nobody asked him how much he was drenched in sadness.

Nobody asked if he was happy.

Nobody asked him if he was broken.

May be if he was born in a simple poor happy he would have a peaceful life. A caring family, a loving partner and a happy life.

May be.

Just may be.

The car stopped after 4 hours near a beach. It was already 2 in the morning. He drove for 4 hours to reach this unknown place. Is this place even in the city?

With slow steps he went to the beach. It was silent and dark. Not a single person in sight. He sat on the sand near the shore staring at the vast ocean.

The wind was chilly but his soul was even more. The stars were about to vanish welcoming the new day's sun but his soul was still dark.

He closed his eyes listening to the splashes of the water. The waves touching his feet.

He didn't even know when 2 hours passed swiftly. He was still sitting there without blinking his eyes. He sighed for the nth time before standing up in his feet.

He wiped his tears with the back of his eyes harshly. He took off his shoes and took slow steady step ahead.

His feet touched the cold water but his heart didn't stir a bit. His mind played each and every day of his life like a movie in front of him. Every person he knew was there. The time he spent with his family, friends and the man he loved.

And the pain he felt.

He looked up the sky blinking the tears rolling down again. He bit his lips and smiled bitterly.

So this is it.

The end of his painful life.

So be it.

He walked ahead without any remorse. With smile in his face he walked deep into the sea. And for the first time in his life it was not a fake one.

He smiled immersing deep in the blue.

(This part contains mention of self harm and angst. Suc\*de is never a solution and this book don't encourage such. If you are not comfortable please skip)

Blue

He saw only blue. The deep cold ocean embracing him in his arms. He let his body he emerged in it's arm. He could see his body drowning low and low. He could feel those dark hands pulling him down.

And with finally breathe he closed his eyes and let those dark hands drown him.

People will think it's his weakness to kill himself. It was weak of him to not fight for himself. He should have stood up for himself. He should not have taken this step.

But only the person himself knew how much strength one needs to take this step.

Every living thing in this world is afraid to die. Even if you try to kill an ant it will try to save himself. Why would a human not try to save himself.

Dying before their time, before getting old, before seeing their offspring, before getting married, before earning money, before building career, before reaching ones goal.

Nobody wants to die. He didn't too. He too wished for a happy life and perfect family.

But only the ones in his shoe will know how much strength was needed to drag his weak body to the deep ocean.

Nobody will know, how much desperately he wanted a happy life.

Nobody will know, how much desperately he wanted a perfect family.

Nobody will know, how much desperately he wanted to live.

How much desperately he wanted to get out of this darkness.

How much he tried to gain happiness.

How much he tried and tried until he failed thousands of times to the length he couldn't even try anymore.

And finally slept in the arms of the vast cold ocean. A sleep from which he won't ever wake up.

Won't wake up ever again

A/N

Depression (major depressive disorder) is a common and serious medical illness that negatively affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act.

Fortunately, it is also treatable. Depression causes feelings of sadness and/or a loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed.

It can lead to a variety of emotional and physical problems and can decrease your ability to function in life.

Depression can happen to anyone. People who have lived through abuse, severe losses or other stressful events are more likely to develop depression. Women are more likely to have depression than men.

There are various effective treatments for depression. These include psychological treatment and medications. Seek care if you have symptoms of depression.

Talk to your friends, family, partner, anyone that can help you. Seek help.

Don't think about other's taunting gaze. There is always someone who cares.

Even if the whole world seems dark there always be a light for you.

Don't quit.

Fight for it.

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