...Psychologically Rouge~...
My mom walks me to my therapist's door. I second guessed this whole thing because I never actually felt like I needed one. She would always beg me even at the verge of spilling tears, I just had to do it. Just to make her happy, though I know I won't ever overcome this. The knock on the door is brief and faint, hardly audible enough but the therapist says from the other side of the door.
" Come in, please."
Mom glances over at me before going in first then I follow suite. I'm met with a middle-aged woman with clear blues, hiding behind the glasses she has on. Her slender figure greets me as she stands up to greet us.
*she's beautiful and sexy at such an age? Fascinating. * I say to myself.
Her smile is one which men could go crazy to see it again. She extends her hand to me after she shook mom's hand. I look her in the eyes and a smirk cross my lips. I can tell she feels uncomfortable with the way I'm sucking up her beauty. She forces a smile.
" I'm Melanie Jones, your therapist. May I know your name?" She says, and I tighten my grip around her palm. Shock fills her with an expression saying, WTF?! I love leaving that impression on people I meet for the very first time.
" It doesn't matter, all I want to say is - "I cut midway of my own words to get one glance at her slender body, then looked back at her face. " You're way too hot and sexy for someone your age, Melanie" My mom separates our hands and only a grin is seen on my face.
"I'm so sorry about that. My daughter is just a kid. Her name is Hazel." Mom gives me a be good kinda expression. Melanie makes us seat. She takes her seat beside me.
" So tell me exactly how you feel today and the other passed years after that memory."
Melanie's calm gesture makes me feel attached for some reason that I can't explain. Something I haven't felt with my mom at all. I feel like pouring all my burden and frustration on her.
" It's okay. Take your time. You can tell me everything you want,,, and I'll listen"
" Fine" I loosen up a bit. " It's been seventeen years since we lost hold of each other. The only thing that reminds me of him is, the memories we shared during that time. No means of communication at all, but I see him everywhere, in my room, in my food, ... Just everywhere." I explain, and she nods her head in understanding.... Or I assume she does.
" You can't let go of what you both had in your youth, it was traumatizing and hard to accept that it's in the past. "
This woman, I can't let go even of I wanted to. Its just-hard to let go.
" You just have to let go of it. Your emotionally and psychologically damaged, so much that everything in your subconscious appears to be real for you. Help yourself by letting go."
" Believe me, I've tried. But I can't... I just can't let go. I have to see him again if actually I want to rid myself of this thing you're talking about! I'm out of here. " I say and storm out of her office walking down the hallway and increasing my steps in every step of the way.
Actually I don't know why I did it, why I reacted that way or why I'm about to cry. Words just can't explain it. Even mom doesn't know how to handle me. I've got to get through this. Entangled in my thoughts, I don't notice when I arrived the parking lot. Just exactly where mom's car was parked.
* How'd I get here? Is it just me or is my brain messing with me? * I ask myself with doubt. Loud noises of heels knocking violently on the floor, kicks me out of my thoughts. I turn around to see mom standing there with her hands on her waist, out of breath.
I think I'm really gonna get it. But, to my surprise, her tense features softens and she approaches me and holds me in a tight embrace. The one which has never been given by her. Tears flow freely from my eyes as I return the hug.
" Mom..." My words trail off as my voice starts breaking from the heavy lump in my throat. She just holds me closer than ever to her.
" Hush. It's going to be alright, honey."
This is just what I needed.
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Updated 6 Episodes
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