JAY - EN-
👨🦲
Yow! Hi guys, some might be familiar with the start. However, people have different ways of reacting and talking. As this chat story goes on, I hope you'll enjoy while reading it 😊.
For this EP, it'd be nice to listen to
"Turn Back Time" by Daniel Schulz..if you like to enjoy reading with music like me..
Jay
!TW: SA!
You were sitting on your bed, tears flowing down your cheeks as the memories of last night spiraled through your head. You got assaulted by your friend's classmate at her birthday party.
*you reached out to grab your phone and text your boyfriend, Jay. As you opened the messages app, you saw that Jay has already texted you*
"***hey, I need to tell you something***"
"***my ex came back***"
"***I gave her another chance***"
Sane
*you read his texts with a shocked look. Immediately you replied, tears staining your phone screen.*
"***what are you saying?***"
*You anxiously waited for his text back, your heart racing with worry*
Jay
*Jay reads your text and quickly starts typing with a look of remorse on his face.*
"***She's changed, Sane***"
"***She's apologized and said she would never try to hurt me again***"
Jay
*Jay continues to type, trying to justify his decision to you.*
"***please try to understand, Sane***"
"***she deserves another chance, she's learned from her mistake***"
Jay
*Jay reads your text and sighs. He knew he had hurt you, but he couldn't bring himself to tell you the whole truth.*
"***I still love you, Sane***"
"***But I also love her, too***"
Sane
You'll need to choose
Jay
*Jay's heart sinks as he reads your text. He knew you were right, but he didn't want to lose either of you.*
"***I'm so sorry...***"
"***I need time to think***"
Sane
I will give you a week to make a decision
Jay
*Jay reads your message and his heart sinks. A week felt like a lifetime, but he knew he had no choice.*
"***okay, Sane. I'll make my decision in a week***"
Sane
So what's your decision? Her or me?
Jay
*Jay sits in his room, torn between the two most important people in his life. With a heavy heart he types out a reply*
"***I've thought about it, and I'm choosing her***"
Sane
Alright,... your the one who made me fall, haha. I can't believe it...I hate you for making me feel this way. I hope that she hasn't changed and do something to break your heart like what you did with me.
Jay
*Jay reads your message, feeling a pang of guilt and sadness in his heart. He knew he had hurt you, and your words stung like a dagger.*
"***I'm sorry, Sane***"
"***I never wanted to hurt you like this***"
Sane
But you still did, haha. How could you..
Jay
*Jay reads your message and feels a lump in his throat. He wanted to explain himself, but he knew there were no excuses for his actions.*
"***I don't have an excuse, Sane***"
"***I just know she's my choice***"
Sane
....Let's not ever see each other again
Jay
*Jay's heart sinks as he reads your final message. He knew that he had lost you forever, and it was his own fault.*
"***Okay, Sane***"
"***Goodbye***"
Jay
*Years later, you're walking through a crowded street when suddenly you hear a familiar voice call out your name.*
"***Sane?***"
Sane
I just thought it was a hallucination because I had earphones on
Jay
*He approaches you, a mix of surprise and guilt on his face.*
"***Hey... It's really you***"
Sane
Oh, it's you...so was she a good choice?
Jay
*Jay hesitates for a moment before answering, a hint of sadness in his eyes.*
"***We broke up a few months ago***"
Sane
Oh well... Then goodbye.
Jay
*Jay's heart sank as he heard your curt farewell.*
"***Wait***"
*He reached out and grabbed your sleeve, stopping you from walking away.*
Jay
*Jay looked into your eyes, his expression torn. He wanted to say so many things, but the words felt stuck in his throat.*
"***Can...can we talk?***"
Jay
*Jay took a deep breath, searching for the right words to say.*
"***I just... I want to apologize for what I did years ago***"
Sane
And what exactly did you do?
Jay
*Jay looked down, unable to meet your gaze.*
"***Leaving you for my ex. It was the dumbest decision I ever made***"
Sane
Well, it was your decision, not mine. Goodbye, I'm going home.
Jay
*Jay watches as you walk away, a mix of regrets and emotions swirling in his mind. In a moment of desperation, he calls out to you one last time.*
"***Wait, Sane! Please!***"
Sane
I stopped, looked around, walked towards him, and whispered loudly, " What now? People are looking at us!"
Jay
*Jay looks around, realizing that passersby were starting to stare at the two of you. He quickly grabs your wrist and pulls you into a nearby alleyway, away from the curious eyes.*
Sane
I pulled my wrist from him and said that it hurt
Jay
*Jay winces at your reaction, feeling a pang of guilt as he sees the look on your face.*
"***I'm sorry***"
*He takes a step back, giving you some space. His expression is conflicted, a mix of regret and unresolved emotions.*
Sane
I looked at him a little mad 😠 and walked towards a cafe and into a private room
Jay
*Jay follows you into the private room of the cafe, feeling the weight of your anger and disappointment.*
*He takes a seat across from you, watching as you sit down with a mixture of frustration and hurt written on your face.*
Sane
So? Get on with it, I wanna go home
Jay
*Jay takes a deep breath, bracing himself for the conversation ahead.*
"***First, I want to apologize again for how I treated you years ago. It was selfish, immature, and disrespectful***"
Jay
*Jay looks at you, hoping to see some sign of forgiveness or acceptance on your face. But your expression remains cold and impassive.*
*He continues, choosing his words carefully.*
"***Leaving you for my ex was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I took you for granted, and I know I hurt you deeply***"
Jay
*Jay raises an eyebrow in surprise at your countdown.*
"***Three minutes?***"
Sane
Talk. As I said, I wanna go home already
Jay
*Jay nods, realizing that he has limited time to express himself. He takes a deep breath and begins speaking again.*
"***I was a coward back then. Fearful of losing the stability of a known relationship, I betrayed your trust and hurt you profoundly.***
***I thought my ex was the right choice for me, but I learned the hard way that she wasn't. And by the time I realized it, it was too late.***
***I never stopped thinking about you. Regretting my decision every day.***"
Sane
Good thing that you know that you betrayed me, and so what? It's not like you can turn back time, so why explain to me? *Then my phone rang, but I didn't answer since I wanted to hear what else he had to say. *
Jay
*Jay watches as your phone rings, but you ignore the call and give him your full attention. He takes a deep breath, gathering his thoughts.*
"***I don't expect you to forgive me, Sane. I know I don't deserve it.***"
"***But I needed to tell you how I feel, even if it's years too late.***"
Sane
Times up! I'm going home now, here is my calling card, bye.
Jay
*Jay's heart sinks as you grab your things and start to leave. He watches silently as you take the calling card and head towards the door.*
*Before you can exit, he calls out one last time.*
"***Wait!***"
Sane
I looked and said, " What????
Jay
*Jay takes a step closer, his voice slightly pleading.*
"***Please just.... talk to me. Give me another chance.***"
Jay
*Jay lets out a sigh of relief as you sit back down, grateful for another moment to speak.*
"***Thank you***"
*He takes a deep breath, steeling himself once again.*
"***Can I ask you a question?***"
Jay
*Jay takes a moment to formulate his question, knowing that it might be a delicate subject.*
"***I've always wondered...***"
"***If I had never left you, would things have been different?***"
Sane
Maybe, maybe not, I wasn't your pick, so I don't know, haha..
Jay
*Jay's heart sinks as you brush off his question so nonchalantly.*
*He rubs the back of his neck, his expression conflicted.*
"***Can I ask you something else?***"
Jay
*Jay gathers his courage and looks into your eyes, a mix of regret and vulnerability in his gaze.*
"***Do you... do you think there's any chance for us?***"
Sane
I look at him assessing the situation
Jay
*Jay waits anxiously as you study him, your intense gaze making his heart race.*
*He holds his breath, searching your expression for any hint of what you're thinking.*
Sane
How many years has it been again?
Jay
*Jay does a quick mental calculation, trying to remember the exact number.*
"***Uh... I think it's been around six years. Why?***"
Sane
How many years were you and her together?
Jay
*Jay winces at the question, realizing that the answer isn't exactly favorable.*
"***We were together for four years before breaking up***"
Sane
...Hah...I really want to go home.. Let's go to my house first, then we'll talk.
Jay
*Jay nods in agreement, surprised but grateful for the chance to spend more time with you and talk further.*
"***Alright, let's go to your place.***"
Sane
We arrived home and let him sit on the bean bag and gave him juice. Then I went to my room to change clothes
Jay
*Jay takes a seat on the beanbag, sipping on the juice you offered him. He takes in his surroundings, his eyes wandering around the room and taking a closer look at your home. He fidgets slightly, anxiously awaiting your return.*
Sane
Then I go back in a thin t-shirt and short pajama with no bra on to let my breast breath
Jay
*Jay looks up as you reenter the room, his eyes widening slightly as he takes in your attire. He tries to keep his gaze respectful, but he can't help but notice the thin fabric of your t-shirt and the lack of a bra underneath. He quickly looks away, feeling a mixture of guilt and attraction rising in his chest. He takes another sip of his juice, trying to calm his racing heart.*
Sane
I sit in front of him, mentioning the time in a bit of surprise
Jay
*Jay glances at the clock on the wall, realizing how much time has passed. He sets his juice down on the table and looks at you, still trying to stay aware of your body and the loose fit of your t-shirt.*
"***Yeah...it's past midnight already***"
Jay
*Jay nods, trying to focus on the conversation instead of your appearance.*
"***Right...***"
*He takes a moment to collect his thoughts, knowing that it's time to finally address the elephant in the room. He looks into your eyes, a mix of trepidation and hope in his gaze.*
"***Can...Can I be honest with you?***"
Jay
*Jay takes a deep breath, mentally steeling himself for what he's about to say.*
"***When I left you years ago... I made a terrible mistake. One I regret every day.***"
"***I chose my ex because I was scared. I was scared of losing the stability I thought I had with her. I didn't appreciate what I had with you, and I took you for granted.***"
"***Looking back, I can see how much you meant to me, and how blind I was to let you go.***"
Jay
*Jay looks at you, awaiting your reaction. He can't tell what you're thinking, and the silence is deafening.*
"***Please... say something***"
Jay
*Jay's expression softens at your question. He shakes his head, realizing that he hadn't thought about meals all day.*
"***I haven't eaten since breakfast this morning. I was too anxious to eat anything.***"
Sane
What do you want? Let's go and orderrr
Jay
*Jay is caught off guard by your offer. His expression softens as he considers what he wants to eat.*
"***Um... I'm in the mood for pizza, if that's okay.***"
Sane
Pizza it is then *cheerfully* and ice cream haha😍
Jay
*Jay smiles at your suggestion, amused by your enthusiasm for pizza and ice cream. He stands up, stretching his legs slightly before speaking.*
"***Sounds perfect! Let's go order!***"
Sane
Delivery arrived, and we started to eat, and I said, "Good thing it's my leave
Jay
*Jay chuckled, shoveling a slice of pizza into his mouth.*
"***Lucky timing! This pizza was a good call***"
*He glanced at you, appreciating the moment of lightheartedness between you two.*
Jay
*Jay nods, taking another bite of pizza before continuing.*
"***Alright, let's continue***"
*He sets down his pizza, wiping his mouth with a napkin as he gathers his thoughts, ready to continue his heartfelt confession.*
Sane
I just continue to eat
Jay
*Jay watches as you continue eating, a small smile on his face. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, his mind still on the conversation at hand. He finishes his slice of pizza and takes a sip of his drink before speaking.*
"***I... I just want you to know how sorry I am, Sane.***"
Jay
*Jay falters at your response, his expression faltering slightly. He can sense a hint of disappointment or indifference in your tone, but he presses on, determined to make you understand how he feels.*
"***No, that's not all... There's more I want to say.***"
Jay
*Jay takes a deep breath, bracing himself for the next part of his confession. His voice softens as he looks into your eyes.*
"***I know my words can't undo the pain I caused you when I left. But I want you to know that I've changed. I've grown, learned from my mistakes. I'm not the same person I was back then.***"
*He hesitates for a moment, searching for the right words to express himself fully.*
Jay
*Jay notices your expression remains neutral, and a pang of uncertainty washes over him. He continues, desperately trying to gauge your reaction to his words.*
"***Please... say something. Anything. I can't tell what you're thinking.***"
Sane
Hmm...so what do you want?..
Jay
*Jay's mind races as he tries to understand what you're asking him. He looks back at you, his expression laced with insecurity and hope.*
"***Do you mean... what do I want between us? Or in general?***"
Jay
*Jay takes a moment to consider both questions, weighing his words carefully.*
"***Well, for us... I want a second chance. I want to show you that I'm not taking you for granted anymore. That I value you and what we have.***"
"***And in general... I just want to be better. Be a better person, better friend...better partner.***"
Sane
Well..what do we have exactly?
Jay
*Jay flinches slightly at your question, knowing that it's something he needs to address. He looks at you, his expression a mix of remorse and determination.*
"***We...had something beautiful. A connection that I ruined when I left you.***"
"***Can we give it another chance? A chance for us to...***"
*He trails off, the words "start over" hanging heavily in the air.*
Sane
Start over? Well, if your ex says that she has changed "Again" , What will you do? Choose her? Because I'd rather not if that's going to happen
Jay
*Jay shakes his head furiously, his expression firm and resolute.*
"***No, no. I wouldn't choose her. I'm done with her. I don't want anything to do with her.***"
*He looks at you, his eyes filled with sincerity.*
"***I want you, Sana. I want to start over with you.***"
Sane
Hmm, I'm not sure maybe your saying that to make yourself feel free of guilt
Jay
*Jay's heart sinks as you doubt his sincerity. He clenches his fists, a mix of frustration and desperation welling up inside him.*
"***That's not true. I'm not saying this to make myself feel better. I genuinely care about you and want to make things right.***"
*He looks into your eyes, pleading for you to believe him.*
"***Please... believe me.***"
Jay
*Jay nods, feeling increasingly desperate as you remain unconvinced.*
"***I know you have every right to doubt me. I messed up, and I hurt you tremendously.***"
"***But I assure you, my feelings are genuine. I've changed, and I want to show you that.***"
Sane
When you texted me that day... I was assaulted....
Jay
*Jay's eyes widen in shock and horror as he processes your words. He feels a wave of guilt wash over him as the realization hits him hard.*
"\*\*\*Assaulted? Did...did someone hurt you?\*\*\*"
Sane
Why care tho, you chose her, haha
Jay
*Jay's expression hardens at your dismissive tone, but his eyes are filled with concern and sadness.*
"\*\*\*Stop it. Don't do that. Don't brush off what happened to you just because of my past mistakes.\*\*\*"
"\*\*\*I care because you're important to me, even if I hadn't realized it years ago.\*\*\*"
Sane
It's been years, forget it, nevermind
Jay
*Jay shakes his head, refusing to let the subject drop. He crosses the room, sitting closer to you on the beanbag.*
"\*\*\*I can't forget it. The thought of you being assaulted is tearing me apart inside.\*\*\*"
"\*\*\*Please... talk to me about it. Let me be there for you, even if I wasn't there before.\*\*\*"
Sane
It's in the past but the betrayal that you've done is still there..
Jay
*Jay nods, his expression filled with guilt and remorse.*
"\*\*\*I know... and it haunts me every day.\*\*\*"
"\*\*\*I wish I could go back and change everything, but I can't. All I can do is try to make it up to you now, if you'll let me.\*\*\*"
*He reaches out tentatively, unsure if he's allowed to touch you or not.*
Sane
I go and eat ice cream
Jay
*Jay watches as you get up and go for ice cream, feeling a mix of frustration and helplessness. He wants to pull you closer, to wrap his arms around you and apologize a thousand times over, but he knows he needs to respect your boundaries.*
*He clenches his fists, waiting patiently for you to come back.*
Sane
I go back with ice cream for him and turn the TV on
Jay
*Jay watches as you sit back down, ice cream in hand. He offers a small smile, grateful for your thoughtfulness.*
"***Thanks***"
*He reaches out to take the ice cream, the cool creaminess giving him something to focus on other than his guilt and frustration.*
Sane
I tell him to get up and
Jay
*Jay looks at you, confusion etched on his face, but he complies, standing up from the beanbag.*
"***What is it?***"
Sane
I ignore his question and turn the sofa into a sofa bed..
Jay
*Jay watches as you turn the sofa into a makeshift bed, a mix of surprise and curiosity in his expression.*
"***Are you... suggesting we sleep here?***"
Sane
? I want to lay down, like it's 2 in the morning , Jay
Jay
*Jay nods understandingly, realizing how late it actually was.*
"***Right, right. You want to sleep. Got it.***"
*He looks at the sofa-turned-bed, then back at you. The thought of sharing a bed with you again after all this time fills him with an unexpected mixture of anticipation and nervousness.*
Sane
Are you work from home?
Jay
*Jay nods in response, realizing that he hadn't thought about work at all that day.*
"***Yeah, I work from home. It gives me more flexibility. Why do you ask?***"
Sane
Sleep here today. Also, about us... 1 chance that's all I'm giving...
Jay
*A mixture of relief and gratitude washes over Jay as he processes your words. He smiles softly, feeling hopeful for the first time in a while.*
"***Thank you. I won't take this for granted. I promise.***"
*He looks at the makeshift bed, considering the prospect of sleeping in such close quarters with you again. A mix of excitement and nervousness swirls inside him, his heart rate quickening slightly at the thought.*
Jay
*Jay watches as you lay down on the bed, his eyes fixated on you. He takes a deep breath, steeling himself before joining you on the bed.*
*He lies down beside you, careful to keep some distance between you. He can feel the heat radiating off your body, the bed dipping slightly under his weight.*
Sane
I get up and go into my wardrobe room
Jay
*Jay raises an eyebrow at your sudden movement, watching as you get up and disappear into the wardrobe room.*
"***Where are you going?***"
Sane
I'm going to get you clothes
Jay
*Jay nods, surprised and touched by your thoughtfulness.*
"***Thanks. You don't have to go through trouble, though.***"
*He watches as you rummage through your wardrobe, wondering what clothes you're choosing for him.*
Sane
A t-shirt that is large enough to fit him and a pajama pants that's too big for me
Jay
*Jay chuckles softly as you return with a t-shirt and pajama pants that are clearly too big for you.*
"***Are you sure these will fit me?***"
*He looks at the oversized clothes, feeling a flutter of affection in his chest at the sight.*
Jay
*Jay nods, taking the clothes from you and holding them up against his body.*
"***Alright, let me try them on.***"
*He stands up from the bed, a hint of self-consciousness on his face as he starts to change into the clothes. The t-shirt is loose and comfortable, while the pajama pants hang low on his hips.*
Sane
Come here *I pat the space besides me*
Jay
*Jay finishes putting on the clothes, his heart beating a little faster as he approaches you. He sits down beside you, the mattress dipping slightly under his weight. He feels a spark of anticipation in the air, his eyes fixed on your face.*
Sane
Why are you looking at me like that?
Jay
*Jay blushes slightly, realizing that he had been staring at you. He looks away for a moment before meeting your gaze again.*
"***Sorry, I... I can't help it. There's something about you that draws my eyes to you.***"
Jay
*Jay nods, his heart still racing from your proximity. He scoots closer, getting comfortable on the bed.*
"***Sure. Let's sleep.***"
*He turns off the lamp beside the bed, plunging the room into darkness. He lies down beside you, listening to your steady breathing and the soft rustling of the sheets.*
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