A World Without Love

When they got up, it was late in the morning. Breakfast was laid out on their room.

  "I have to go home today," Xu Xian said, "and tell my sister."

  He looked worried, his fear of his sister returned. Suzhen was also worried. When he was about to go, she brought out a hundred taels of silver. She put it in his hands and said, "This is my present to my sister in law. Please ask her to let me visit her."

  He went to Zhouzhuang by boat, he knew it would be difficult yo explain everything to his sister. He even found it hard to explain himself, now that he was alone by himself. He could not have dreamt such strange story. It had happened too quickly, part of his mind still did not believe that it had really happened.

 The day was gray and windy, but he did not notice it. He got off the boat and carried the silver in his hands then he walked home. He did not realize he had arrived, until he found himself standing there. He walked in, his sister and brother-in-law lived at the back of the shop. He went into the shop and saw his brother-in-law was playing chess with somebody, he looked up and saw Xu Xian.

"Oh, you're back," he said. "Where were you last night?" Without waiting for an answer, he went on, "Your sister has been looking for you. She is... well, you'd better talk to her yourself.

 Xu Xian tried to say something, but his brother-in-law had returned to his game and did not look up again.

  Xu xian stood there for a while, not knowing what to do.

  "Well, I have to face her anyway," he thought. Then he made up his mind and went in.

There was no one in the house, his  sister was taking her afternoon sleep. He went back to his room and set down the silver heavily on the table then he lay down on his bed and closed his eyes.

   When he opened them again, he saw his sister bending over the table, she was looking  at the silver pieces. She picked them up and weighed them in her hands. She turned to look at her brother and found him awake. Before she could open her mouth to shout at him, he told her everything.

"The silver is a present from her to you," he said as he finished.

  He looked up and saw his sister's face for the first time, it was not the face of a loving sister. There was hate in her voice when she spoke, "I don't want it. I don't even want to touch it. If you want to step into my house again, you do as I tell you now. Take this back to your so-called wife and tell her you'll never see her again. If you think this is too much to ask, get out of my house and don't come back. I don't want to have anything to do with you, now or in the future."

"But I... I can't leave her," he begged. "She's my wife. Please sister, let me explain."

  "You heard what I said," she said coldly. "Now get out of my house. Get out! And take your dirty silver with you."

  With a sweep of her hand, she threw all the silver pieces all over the floor. With tears in his eyes, Xu Xian picked them up one by one and walked out of the house.

  There were two things he could do, he could leave Suzhen or her could leave his sister. He would fine it difficult to do either, although his sister was always unkind to him, she was still his only sister. He had no one else besides her, all his life he had been with her and she had brought him up. But then Suzhen could make him happy, he knew he would never find another girl like her and he would never be happy if he gave her up. Life would be harder in his sister's house. She would make it hard for him, he would not be able to do anything about it. It was very difficult decision for him. When he reached Suzhen's house, it was late in the afternoon.

  "Why is life so difficult?" he thought. "Why can't I be free to do what I want? I was so happy yesterday and now I don't want to live."

  At the last moment before entered the house, he decided to give the silver back. The decision made him feel even more unhappy.

  Xiaoqing came to open the door for him "You look terrible!" She cried. "What's the matter with you? Are you cold?"

 He shook his head.

"Come in, come in. Suzhen has been waiting for you all day."

  Suzhen met him with a sweet smile, she was happy to see her husband again. She did not see the unhappy look on his face until he sat down, Xiaoqing brought in tea a left.

  She poured him a cup of tea. He put the silver on the table and sighed. Looking at her lovely face, hs thought, "How can i tell her that I had to leave her?"

  He had never been very strong. More than at any other time in his life, he needed someone to tell him what to do. And he told her everything.

Suzhen listened to him quietly. When he had finished, she said, "Don't worry too much about what she said to you. We've been a little foolish. But you're her only brother, I'm sure she loves you. She may be angry now, but she won't be tomorrow."

 She comforted him and gave him strength. "Tomorrow I'll go with you to see her. Together we'll beg for her to forgive us. We'll buy her many presents, we'll make her happy and everything will be alright."

He believed her and was comforted, he just forgot how difficult and hard his sister was. The next day they got up early together. The three of them went intro town to buy presents for the sister. Suzhen was very generous with her money. By noon, Xiaoqing could not carry any more presents. They left for Zhouzhuang, they were all feeling happy. Xiaoqing was the most lively, she talked and sang. Xu Xian had never laughed so much before. People in the street looked at them, some shook their heads as though it was wrong to be happy.

That evening when they returned home, none of them had anything to say. They looked tired and unhappy, Xiaoqing was walking behind the two of them. Her green dress was dirty and she was still caryying the presents, there was anger in her eyes.

  When they were home again, Xiaoqing had a long talk with Suzhen alone, Xu Xian was in another room. Sometimes Xiaoqing spoke in a loud voice.

 "Why don't you let me do something? If you leave it to me, I'll..."

And then he heard Suzhen cry.

  Xiaoqing's voice came through the closed door, "Please don't cry, my dear sister. I was just trying to help, you know how much I care for you..."

 Xu Xian sat in a corner, it was a very big room. He looked small and helpless there. His sister had given them a bad time. She had chased them out of her house, she had said the most terrible things about him and Suzhen, she had thrown Suzhen's  presents into the muddy street. Many people had been watching, they had laughed at Xiaoqing as she picked up the broken boxes from the mud.Very soon all the people nearby would know about it. They would all say what a shameful marriage it was, they would make life very difficult for them. He could not walk into Wuzhen without being laughed at. When Xu Xian thought of that, he began to feel sorry for what he had done.

  The door of the room opened and Suzhen walked in, she sat down beside Xu Xian.

"My father left me some money when he died," she said. "We'll leave this town, we'll start our life in a new town. We can start business there, open a medicine shop if you like. What do you think?"

  Xu Xian told her that it was a good idea.

  "Tomorrow we'll go," Suzhen's said.

  "What about the house here?" he asked.

  "Well, we can't take it with us, can we?" She laughed.

  "So we'll just lock up and go. Don't worry, we'll find another one."

  Early the next day, before the town awoke, they were gone.

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