Chapter - 11

BRIDGET POV...

RHYS AND I DIDN'T TALK AGAIN ON THE PLANE, BUT HE'D

taken my mind off my grandfather’s situation enough I crashed

after he left. I hadn’t slept a wink the night before, and I was out

like a light for most of the flight.

When we landed, though, all my nerves came rushing back,

and it was all I could do not to snap at the driver to go faster as we

sped through downtown toward the hospital. Every second we

spent at a red light felt like a second I was losing with my

grandfather.

What if I missed seeing him alive by a minute, or two, or three?

A wave of lightheadedness hit me, and I had to close my eyes

and force myself to take deep breaths so I didn’t drown beneath

my anxiety.

When we finally arrived at the hospital, we found Markus, my

grandfather’s Private Secretary and right-hand man, waiting for us

by the secret entrance they used for high-profile patients. I’d

spotted the crush of reporters outside the main entrance from the

car, and the sight made my anxiety triple.

“His Majesty is fine,” Markus said when he saw me. He looked

more disheveled than usual, which in Markus’s world meant one

of his hairs was out of place and there was a small, barely

noticeable crease in his shirt. “He woke up just before I came

down.”

“Oh, thank God.” I breathed a sigh of relief. If my grandfather

was awake, things couldn’t be too bad. Right?

We took the elevator to my grandfather’s private suite, where I

found Nikolai pacing the hall outside with a frown.

“He kicked me out,” he said by way of explanation. “He said I

was hovering too much.”

I cracked a smile. “Typical.” If there was one thing Edvard von

Ascheberg III hated, it was being fussed over.

“Yeah.” Nikolai let out a half-resigned, half-relieved laugh

before he swept me into a hug. “It’s good to see you, Bridge.”

We didn’t see or talk to each other often. We lived different

lives—Nikolai as crown prince in Eldorra, me as a princess trying

her best to pretend she wasn’t one in the U.S.—but nothing

bonded two people like a shared tragedy.

Then again, if that were true, we should be thick as thieves

since our parents’ deaths. But things hadn’t quite worked out that

way.

“It’s good to see you too.” I squeezed him tight before greeting

his girlfriend. “Hi, Sabrina.”

“Hi.” She gave me a quick hug, her face warm with sympathy.

Sabrina was an American flight attendant Nikolai met during a

flight to the U.S. They’d been dating for two years, and their

relationship had generated a media firestorm when it first came to

light. A prince dating a commoner? Tabloid heaven. Coverage had

died down since then, partly because Nikolai and Sabrina kept

their relationship under such tight wraps, but their pairing was still

very much gossiped about in Athenberg society.

Perhaps that was why I felt such pressure to date someone

“appropriate.” I didn’t want to disappoint my grandfather, too. He’d

warmed up to Sabrina, but he’d had a conniption when he first

found out about her.

“He’s waiting for you inside.” Nikolai flashed a lopsided grin.

“Just don’t hover or he’ll kick you out too.”

I managed a laugh. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“I’ll wait here,” Rhys said. He usually insisted on following me

everywhere, but he seemed to know I needed alone time with my

grandfather.

I gave him a grateful smile before I stepped into the hospital

room.

Edvard was, as promised, awake and sitting up in bed, but the

sight of him in a hospital gown and hooked up to machines

brought back an onslaught of memories.

“Daddy, wake up! Please wake up!” I sobbed, trying to break

out of Elin’s grasp and run to his aside.“Daddy!”

But no matter how loud I screamed or how hard I cried, he

remained pale and unmoving. The machine next to his bed let out

a flat, steady whine, and everyone in the room was yelling and

running around except for my grandfather, who sat with his head

lowered and shoulders shaking. They’d forced Nikolai to leave the

room earlier, and now they were trying to get me to leave too, but I

wouldn’t.

Not until Daddy woke up.

“Daddy, please.” I’d screamed myself hoarse, and my last plea

came out as a whisper.

I didn’t understand. He’d been okay a few hours ago. He went

out to buy popcorn and candy because the palace kitchen ran out

and he said it was silly to ask someone to fetch something he

could easily get himself. He said when he got back, we would eat

the popcorn and watch Frozen together.

But he never came back.

I overheard the doctors and nurses talking earlier. Something

about his car and sudden impact. I didn’t know what it all meant,

but I knew it wasn’t good.

And I knew Daddy was never, ever coming back.

I felt the burn of tears behind my eyes and a familiar tightening

in my chest, but I pasted on a smile and tried not to let my worry

show.

“Grandpa.” I rushed to Edvard’s side. I’d called him Grandpa

when I was a kid and never grew out of it, but now, I could only

say it when we were alone because the address was too

“informal” for a king.

“Bridget.” He looked pale and tired, but he mustered a weak

smile. “You didn’t have to fly all the way back here. I’m fine.”

“I’ll believe it when the doctor tells me so.” I squeezed his

hand, the gesture as much reassurance for myself as it was for

him.

“I’m the king,” he harrumphed. “What I say, goes.”

“Not for medical matters.”

Edvard sighed and grumbled, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he

asked about New York, and I caught him up on everything I’d

been doing since I saw him last Christmas until he got tired and

dozed off in the middle of my story about Louis’s unfortunate wine

spill.

He’d refused to tell me how he ended up in the hospital, but

Nikolai and the doctors filled me in. Apparently, my grandfather

had a rare, previously undiagnosed heart condition that was

usually latent in patients until extreme stress or anxiety triggered

it. In such cases, the condition could lead to sudden cardiac arrest

and death.

I nearly had cardiac arrest myself when I heard that, but the

doctors assured me my grandfather’s case had been mild. He’d

fainted and had been unconscious for a while, but he didn’t need

surgery, which was a good thing. However, the condition didn’t

have a cure and he would need to make major lifestyle changes to

reduce his stress levels if he didn’t want a more serious incident in

the future.

I

could only imagine Edvard’s response to that. He was a

workaholic if there ever was one.

The doctors kept him in the hospital another three days for

monitoring. They’d wanted to keep him a week, but he refused.

He said it would be bad for public morale, and he needed to get

back to work. And when the king wanted something, no one

refused him.

After he returned home, Nikolai and I tried our best to convince

him to offload some responsibilities to his advisors, but he kept

brushing us off.

Three weeks later, we were still at an impasse, and I was at

my wits’ end.

“He’s being stubborn.” I couldn’t keep the frustration out of my

voice as I guided my horse toward the back of the palace

grounds. Edvard, sick of both Nikolai and I nagging him to heed

the doctor’s warnings, had all but kicked us out of the palace for

the afternoon. Get some sun, he said. And leave me to stress in

peace. Nikolai and I had not been amused. “He should at least cut

back on the late-night calls.”

“You know how Grandfather is.” Nikolai came up beside me on

his own horse, his hair tousled from the wind. “He’s more stubborn

than you are.”

“You, calling me stubborn? That’s rich,” I scoffed. “If I recall

correctly, you’re the one who went on a hunger strike for three

days because Grandfather wouldn’t let you skydive with your

friends.”

Nikolai grinned. “It worked, didn’t it? He caved before day

three was over.” My brother was the spitting image of our father—

wheat-colored hair, blue eyes, square jaw—and sometimes, the

resemblance was so strong it made my heart hurt. “Besides, that

was nothing compared to your insistence on living in America. Is

our home country really that abhorrent?”

There it is. Nothing like a beautiful fall day with a side of guilt.

“You know that’s not why.”

“Bridget, I can count the number of times you’ve been home in

the past five years on one hand. I don’t see any other

explanation.”

“You know I miss you and Grandfather. It’s just…every time I’m

home…” I tried to think of the best way to phrase it. “I’m under a

microscope. Every single thing I do, wear, and say is dissected. I

swear, the tabloids could turn me breathing wrong into a story. But

in the U.S., no one cares as long as I don’t do anything crazy. I

can just be normal. Or as normal as someone like me can get.”

I can’t breathe here, Nik.

“I know it’s a lot,” Nikolai said, his face softening. “But we were

born for this, and you grew up here. You didn’t have an issue with

the attention before.”

Yes, I did. I just never showed it.

“I was young.” We came to a stop on our horses, and I stroked

my horse’s mane, taking comfort in the familiar feel of its silky hair

beneath my hand. “People weren’t as vicious when I was young,

and that was before I went to college and experienced what being

a normal girl feels like. It feels…good.”

Nikolai stared at me with a strange expression. If I didn’t know

better, I would’ve sworn it was guilt, but that made no sense. What

could he be guilty about?

“Bridge…”

“What?” My heart pounded faster. His tone, his expression, the

tight set of his shoulders. Whatever he had to say, I wouldn’t like

it.

He looked down. “You’re going to hate me for this.”

I tightened my grip on my reins. “Just tell me.”

“Before I do, I want you to know I didn’t plan for this to

happen,” Nikolai said. “I never expected to meet Sabrina and fall

in love with her, nor did I expect this is where we’d be two years

later.”

Confusion mingled with my apprehension. What does Sabrina

have to do with this?

“I wanted to tell you earlier,” he added. “But then Grandfather

got hospitalized and everything was so crazy…” His throat bobbed

with a hard swallow. “Bridge, I asked Sabrina to marry me. And

she said yes.”

Of everything I’d expected him to say, that wasn’t it. Not by a

long shot.

I didn’t know Sabrina well, but I liked her. She was sweet and

funny and made my brother happy. That was enough for me. I

didn’t understand why he would be nervous about telling me. “Nik,

that’s amazing. Congratulations! Did you tell Grandfather

already?”

“Yes.” Nikolai was still watching me with a guilty look in his

eyes.

My smile faded. “Was he upset? I know he wasn’t happy when

you started dating because—” I stopped. Icy fingers crawled down

my spine as the pieces finally clicked. “Wait,” I said slowly. “You

can’t marry Sabrina. She’s not of noble blood.”

That was the law talking, not me. Eldorra’s Royal Marriages

Law stipulated the monarch must marry someone of noble birth. It

was archaic but ironclad, and as the future king, Nikolai fell under

the law’s jurisdiction.

“No,” Nikolai said. “She’s not.”

I stared at him. It was so quiet I could hear the leaves rustle as

they fluttered to the ground. “What are you saying?”

Dread ballooned in my stomach, growing and growing until it

squeezed all the air from my lungs.

“Bridget, I’m abdicating.”

The balloon popped, leaving pieces of dread scattered

throughout my body. My heart, my throat, my eyes and fingers and

toes. I was so consumed by it I couldn’t speak for a good minute.

“No.” I blinked, hoping it would wake me up from my

nightmare. It didn’t. “You’re not. You’re going to be king. You’ve

been training for it all your life. You can’t just throw that away.”

“Bridget—”

“Don’t.” Everything around me blurred, the colors of the leaves

and sky and grass blending into one crazy, multicolored hellscape.

“Nik, how could you?”

Normally, I could reason my way out of anything, but reason

had fled, leaving me with nothing except pure emotion and a

sickening sensation in my stomach.

I can’t be queen. Icanticanticant.

“You think I want to do this?” Nikolai’s face tightened. “I know

what a big deal it is. I’ve been agonizing over it for months, trying

to find loopholes and reasons I should walk away from Sabrina.

But you know what Parliament is like. How traditional it is. They

would never overturn the law, and I…” He sighed, suddenly

looking much older than his twenty-seven years. “I can’t walk

away from her, Bridge. I love her.”

I closed my eyes. Of all the reasons Nikolai could’ve chosen

for abdicating, he’d picked the one I couldn’t fault him for.

I’d never been in love, but I’d dreamt of it all my life. To find

that grand, sweeping love, the kind worth giving up a kingdom for.

Nikolai had found his. How could I begrudge him something I

would myself give up my soul for?

When I opened my eyes again, he was still there, sitting tall

and proud on his horse. Looking every inch the king he would

never be.

“When?” I asked in a resigned tone.

A smidge of relief softened his expression. He’d probably

expected more of a fight, but the stress of the past month had

drained all the fight out of me. It wouldn’t do any good, anyway.

Once my brother set his mind on something, he didn’t back down.

Stubbornness ran in our entire family.

“We’ll wait until the furor’s died down over Grandfather’s

hospitalization. Maybe another month or two. You know how the

news cycle is these days. It’ll be old news by then. We’ll keep the

engagement a secret until then too. Elin’s already working on a

press statement and plan, and—”

“Wait.” I held up one hand. “Elin already knows?”

A pink flush stole over Nikolai’s cheekbones when he realized

his mistake. “I had to—”

“Who else knows?” Thud. Thud. Thud. My heart sounded

abnormally loud to my ears. I wondered if I had a heart condition

too, like my grandfather. I also wondered what would happen if

Nikolai abdicated and I died right there in the saddle. “Who else

did you tell before me?”

I bit out the words. Each one tasted bitter, coated with betrayal.

“Just Elin, Grandfather, and Markus. I had to tell them.” Nikolai

didn’t back down from my glare. “Elin and Markus have to get out

in front of this, politically and press-wise. They need time.”

A wild laugh emerged from my throat. I’d never made such a

feral sound in my life, and my brother flinched at the sound.

“They need time? I need time, Nik!” Freedom. Love. Choice.

Things I’d already had so little of, gone forever. Or they would be

after Nikolai officially announced his abdication. “I need the two

and-a-half decades you’ve already had, preparing you for the

throne. I need not to feel like an afterthought in a decision that’ll

change my entire life. I need…” I need to get out of here.

Otherwise, I might do something crazy, like punch my brother

in the face.

I’d never punched a person before, but I’d watched enough

movies to get the gist.

Instead of finishing my sentence, I urged my horse into a

canter, then a full-on gallop. Breathe. Just breathe.

“Bridget, wait!”

I ignored Nikolai’s shout and spurred the horse faster until the

trees whizzed by in a blur.

Bridget, I’m abdicating.

His words echoed in my head, taunting me.

I

had never, not once in my life, entertained the possibility

Nikolai wouldn’t take over the throne. He’d wanted to be king.

Everyone had wanted him to be king. He’d been ready.

Me? I didn’t think I’d ever be ready.

When did Nikolai propose to Sabrina? How long had everyone

known? Was his planned abdication part of the reason for

Grandfather’s collapse?

I

didn’t remember seeing an engagement ring on Sabrina’s

finger at the hospital, but if they were keeping it under wraps until

the announcement, she wouldn’t be wearing one.

I was in the dark about something that affected me more than

anyone except Nikolai, and I was so consumed by my inner

turmoil I didn’t notice the low-hanging branch speeding toward me

until it was too late.

Pain exploded on my forehead. I fell off my horse and landed

on the ground with a hard thud, and the last thing I remembered

seeing was the storm clouds roll in overhead before darkness

swallowed me whole.

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