Evan's sadness

Hi I'm Evan and today I'm going to ramble about my life. no matter how much you cry the gone one ain't coming back. this story is the memories that I cherished with my loved ones. broken mirror I'm picking the pieces but no matter how much I try the missing pieces aren't coming back. every day every night Ithis memories haunt me. I'm stuck. my mind recalls them and I can't neglect. it hurts so much. I remember them crystal clear in my mind. I want to touch my cherished people so badly but they vanished into thin air. now I talk to my self my past was not great but I got some moments that I find priceless. like seeing my child [izzy] for the first time Ray was hiding behind the curtains with a camera to capture my reaction of seeing my child. the moment I saw her I felt very connected to her yeah I felt the bond that day I couldn't even imagine that this beautifull bond will fade in future. Ray was still there sitting on the rocking chair smiling now I can't touch her but I still remember her pure smile. at the time of rebel teenage period never got the chance to say sorry to my mom. who knew that she'll left me behind. I got many purpose of my life but I couldn't keep them. at this point I'm waiting for my day when they'll appear infront of me. sometimes we don't value the time that never come back. so we should find happiness in little things. but we want more and that human nature at its best. now I live my life like a robot take loads of work to make me busy to forget my sorrow. but little do I know that it never works. if there was a time m machine where I could get back to the time. why I'm here missing everybody alone. you know it's an agony.

staring at the pictures of them being happy at that time but now theyre under six feet's of the ground. every day is so boring no entertainment, nobody to talk nobody body to weep my tears. I have ocd from early age once me an my family went to the roof top Susan(my (brothers wife) told me to take care of her children and I was busy so I didn't care until Everest(my brother's daughter) and fell from the roof. Everybody blamed me that I pushed her from the rooftop bcs as a ocd patient I felt like to harm others. I believed my family and shared my dangerous thoughts but they were only thoughts.

But they did not believe me. I was sent to prison but in court I was not guilty bcs I didn't commit the crime. After that my whole family tortured me and my mom. They abused my mom till her last breath. After she was gone my hellish life became more traumatic

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